1999
by Ira4
Summary: AU where Nick and Amanda first meet when they are younger.
1. Chapter 1

_This fic is an AU where Nick and Amanda meet when they are much younger (in 1999 as you've probably guessed)._

 _I don't own the SVU characters._

* * *

Nick finally found the box. He's been going through his mother's storage for a while trying to find that thing. He found old books, toys and clothes, his mother sure didn't like throwing things away. But finally he reached the box with old photographs. Cesaria always told him it's important to keep old photos so when you grow old and your brain won't remember – your eyes will remind you. He didn't feel like arguing, even though back then he was pretty sure he would never want to look at these photographs. Apparently she was right. Because here he was, all those years later, trying to find a single photo.

He took out the box and sat on the chair. He still needed to go through everything inside it. Nick smiled seeing his younger self with his college buddies. Some where taken in the dorms, some at a park or a field. He had good friends then. Shame they lost contact. But that's how life worked, you meet people, you spend time with them, they become a big part of you but at some point you go in different directions. You become someone else in a way.

Looking back Nick knew he was no longer the guy he was in college, not the same guy he was after college, when he first joined the NYPD. Back then he stayed in contact with his friends and they talked to each other on the phone. They even met a few times, even though they were living in different states.

Nick's fingers grazed the photo he'd been looking for. It was a Polaroid photograph. There was something exciting about taking pictures then, before everyone had a camera on their phone. He didn't even know someone had taken it until she handed it to him.

The quality was pretty bad now, some parts were yellow but he could still see the people in it. He was standing next to her. He had a smile on his face, his right palm was rested against the small of her back and she was standing on her toes, whispering something into his ear, keeping her hands in her back pockets. For the life of him Nick couldn't remember what she said to him. It looked so simple, like nothing complicated was ever going to happen. Two people next to each other, so young, so…where they hopeful? Probably. He was trying to do a good job in the police department and she was still in college. So they had to have been hopeful, with everything ahead of them.

Nick placed the box back in it's place. He took the photograph with him, not wanting to let go of it.

Things got messed up even though he tried to do the right thing, be the kind of man he wanted and thought he should be…he wasn't that man now.

Nick took another look at the photo. If only there was a way for him to talk to the man in that photograph, warn him. Everything could have been different. He would have been somewhere else, so would she.

But there are no time machines, no way to change the past. All Nick had was the present, the future…probably. Maybe he could tell himself not to mess things up again. Maybe this time things will be different. They had to be, he had to try.

"You found what you've been looking for?" Cesaria walked into the room.

"Yeah, thanks mom" Nick walked to her and smiled.

"Good thing I didn't throw them away"

"You're always right ma" he gave her a quick kiss.

"Why don't you stay for dinner?" she offered.

"Thanks, but not tonight" Nick smiled "I have something to do"

* * *

 **Summer of 1999**

* * *

"Come on Nicky, don't be like this" Donnie handed Nick the beer "we're here to have fun"

"I'm sorry Donnie, I had no idea you've been suffering all this time" Nick took a sip of the beer and chuckled. He was just done with the police academy and in a few days was going to meet his first partner. Well, not exactly partner, more like a mentor, someone who was going to teach him the ropes.

"I can see the pain in his eyes" Toby laughed "but he has a point Nick, we all know you're about to become probably the best police officer in New York City. But we agreed to have this fun long weekend in Florida, with all these…" he looked around, checking out the crowd "lovely college students who are on vacation and…as the song goes…only want to have fun"

"He's right man" Donnie took the beer from Nick and drank some of it "you can't leave yet, we still want to watch the show, meet a couple of girls…nothing has to happen…we're just having some good time. Something you didn't have much at college"

"Give me that" Nick took the bottle back but just held it in his hands "I had plenty of fun back then, but we have to grow up at some point"

"And why can't that point happen tomorrow?" Toby shrugged "you're a good guy, no one's asking you to do anything crazy or illegal" he sneered.

"Toby's right Nicky, we're going to listen to some music, talk to some ladies, maybe a bit more than talk…" he rolled his eyes when Nick looked away with a grin "Mr. no one night stands… "

"There are some things you don't know" Nick turned back to his friends.

"Alright man" Toby tapped his shoulder "let's just enjoy this time we have…we all live so far away and it's not like we'll see one another more, with careers, families…"

"Something you wanna tell us Toby?" Donnie asked.

"Nah, I'm still single, but someday we will wake up and these days will be far gone"

"Nicky, this guy is crazier than you" Donnie chuckled "how did we became friends, couldn't I've found myself some cool buddies?"

"Have you looked in the mirror ever? Who'd want to be friends with your ugly ass?" Toby teased.

"What does that say about you?"

"Very funny Donnie, I thought we were trying to convince Nick here to stay up"

"Okay, okay, I'll stay for the performance with you" Nick agreed. He loved these guys and this little vacation in Florida was fun. Ever since graduation each was going to a different direction and the last few days were great. But he was getting tired of staying up late every single night, drinking a little too much, seeing Donnie and Toby trying to get it on with a different college girl every evening. It was actually a lot like the time they'd spent there. He wasn't that old yet.

"And I want you to hit on someone…that's the deal" Donnie smiled "not like you've got something to lose"

"Yeah man, show us you got game"

"What's this obsession with this?" Nick asked "you guys have a problem"

"I have a feeling ever since you and that girlfriend of yours broke up three years ago you didn't get any"

"That's a long time man" Toby looked genuinely sad for his friend.

"It's not like that and don't even ask, you know I won't tell"

"Yeah, we know it's always a secret with you" Toby and Donnie exchanged a look "do whatever you want man"

"Don't be offended. I tell you what, I'll talk to someone if this is what you want. But there won't be any future, whatever happens"

"Let's go, I want to catch a good seat" Donnie said and they all walked to the direction of the show. It was a band called 'The Dancing Kites'. Neither heard of them but it was the only thing that wasn't too far from their motel.

It was summer and a lot of college kids decided to spend their vacation there. It hasn't been that long since Nick was a college student. Was he really so far away from them? Not like he was much older. But he felt like he was at a completely different point in his life. Then again, just like those kids, he's been feeling like everything was ahead of him, the future was wide open.

"Ok…" Toby scanned the crowd "I don't want to be rude, but I don't believe you're actually going to talk to a girl" he could tell Nick wanted to protest so he moved closer to him and lowered his voice a bit "so Donnie and I will choose someone and if you don't talk to her you're gonna have to pay our share of the motel"

"Is this some kind of bet?" Nick asked.

"No one's betting, but if you don't do your part then…" he shrugged "you have to pay"

"I wouldn't argue with this guy Nicky" Donnie jumped in "you know he's gonna end up running some huge company or something, you want to stay his friend"

"Ok" Nick raised his hands in surrender "you win, go play matchmaker"

"Maybe we should turn it into a bet, like if she doesn't talk to you…" Donnie started.

"Don't push it" Nick warned.

Toby and Donnie chuckled, they decided to give him a challenge but let go of the bet idea. The guys looked around, scanning the crowd that's been gathering to watch the performance, they knew Nick well enough to know it probably wouldn't lead anywhere, he'd talk to the girl and politely say goodbye. They wanted him to loosen up a little, that's all.

"Come on guys, this is pathetic" Nick walked over to them after a couple of minutes, he realized they were just dragging things "I'm just gonna go talk to…" he looked around for a second and gestured at someone "her"

Toby and Donnie looked at each other and laughed "she's out of your league Nicky" Donnie smacked his back.

Nick looked at the young woman, her blonde hair was down, she was wearing shorts and a blue t shirt, holding a beer bottle and laughing with who seemed to be a friend of hers.

Maybe Donnie was right about her being out of his league, but looking around Nick didn't feel like talking to anyone else. There was something about her, about the way she laughed, that made him want to be around her. It was weird, here he was staring at this girl he didn't know a thing about but kinda wanted to.

"Alright Nicky, go ahead. We'll enjoy the show" Donnie looked at Toby "and I'm not talking about the music"

"Funny" Nick chuckled but took a few steps towards her.

* * *

"They are going to suck" Amanda took a sip of the bottle "with a name like The Dancing Kites you know we're in for a treat"

"They might surprise you" Alice shrugged "think about it, maybe we're about to watch a great band and we'll tell our grandkids about this night"

"You think your grandkids would be impressed with this story?"

"They will be all 'grandma, you're the coolest'"

Amanda gave her a questioning look "is there something you wanna tell me? Cause as far as I know, you're not even twenty and it's gonna be a while till you have grandkids"

"That's besides the point, they will still think I'm cool" Alice took a sip of her drink "they better be"

"Are we going to keep on talking about your future grandkids? Cause I'd rather listen to those kite guys"

"You're gonna hear both…you want me to tell you their names?" Alice laughed but let it go.

"Excuse me" the girls heard a voice and turned around to see a guy standing there.

"Yeah?" Amanda asked, she noticed the little smile on Alice's face.

"Hey" Alice said, she could tell he was interested in Amanda and grinned at her "I'm Alice and this is Amanda"

"I'm Nick, it's nice to meet you" he extended his hand to Alice who quickly let go of it and then to Amanda. Her hand shake was firm and he smiled at her before letting go.

"I'm gonna go get myself a drink" Alice let them know "save me seat…or don't" she winked and walked away.

"Looks like I've been deserted" Amanda looked at her friend as she disappeared in the crowd.

"I'm here" Nick was good at taking things slow, not this flirting part. His girlfriends were always classmates, girls he'd known for a while and he felt comfortable around.

"That's very nice of you" she raised her bottle.

"I am a nice guy" he shrugged.

"And you expect me to believe you, just like that?" Amanda smiled, but she could tell he wasn't a jerk. There was something about the way he spoke, the way he tried too hard. The way he tried to hide the fact he's been trying too hard. This guy…Nick, he really seemed like a nice guy.

"So where are you from?" Nick asked.

"Atlanta, and you?"

"I'm from New York" he replied.

"New York? Why are you here then? You're a fan of these kites?" she chuckled.

"Spending a few days with old friends. You're here for a vacation too?"

"Yeah, before we go back to school"

"So you two go to college in Atlanta?"

"We do"

"You've got what, a year left?" Nick asked.

"Why'd you think that?"

"I see you here with this beer I'm guessing you can't be much older than twenty one…"

"Sorry to disappoint, but I'm not twenty yet….but thanks for saying I look older" she moved a tad closer "underage drinking, you ain't a cop, are you?"

Nick chuckled, he decided not to tell her he was a part of the NYPD, it didn't really matter.

"Knock yourself out" he smiled and she took a sip of the beer, she almost emptied it and offered the remains to Nick.

"Thanks" he finished the beer and held on to the bottle "so…" he wasn't sure what to say, he liked standing there next to her but the silence was kind of awkward.

"The show's starting" Amanda noticed people were moving closer to the stage, the band took it's place and started playing "you should go if you and your buddies want to see better, I'm gonna wait for Alice"

Nick turned his head to the direction where Toby and Donnie were standing, they nodded at him and kept on talking to one another "I'll wait here if you don't mind"

"You'd rather watch the show with me?" she smiled.

"I have a feeling I'm not gonna have much fun watching the show, unless I'm watching the show with you…if you don't mind"

"I don't" she shrugged "but I don't know how much fun we're gonna have listening to these guys. I have a feeling they suck"

"You're probably right, but at least we're gonna laugh about it and I think we can leave if it's that bad" he wondered it she'd want to go away with him, he wanted to spend more time with her. Nick was drawn to her, he wasn't sure why. Yes, she was beautiful. Her eyes were a bright shade of blue and her smile made them even brighter, lighting up her entire face.

But something about the way she stood, the way she spoke…he didn't want to leave.

"It's starting" she said and her voice brought him back from his thoughts.

The band started playing, they were four guys, two were playing guitar, one was playing the keyboard and one was a drummer. The moment the music poured out of the instruments the guitar players started jumping all over the stage eliciting clapping from the crowd. Some were calling their names, some were just screaming. Soon they started singing and even though the front man had a nice voice, the lyrics were pretty stupid.

"Alice is going to be disappointed" Amanda chuckled and Nick gave her a puzzled look "she was planning on telling her grandkids about seeing this show"

"Grandkids? She looked too young to have those…" he joked.

"So you think she looks young, ha?" Amanda laughed.

She saw Alice walking back to them "you were right, they suck" she said once she stood next to Amanda and Nick "I have to tell you something" she grabbed Amanda's arm and pulled her away, not before mouthing 'just a sec' to Nick.

"What?" Amanda asked.

"I'm gonna head back to the room, I want to talk to Ben and this band is not worth it" she looked at Nick and then back at Amanda "I'm not going to wait up for you, unless you want me to"

"Alice…" Amanda didn't really have anything to say, she had no idea what she wanted to do. She wasn't planning on anything. Damn it, she didn't know the guy, he seemed like a good one, but it's not like she was very good with good things. But hell, it was summer vacation, not like he was going to propose.

"Amanda…" Alice gave her a serious look and walked back to where Nick was standing and Amanda followed.

While the girls were talking Toby and Donnie went over to Nick to say goodbye as well. They weren't enjoying the show and decided to find something else to do.

"We're not gonna go back to the room Nicky, we are leaving it for you" Donnie smiled "and won't be back till morning…and don't say a freaking word"

"I won't" Nick saw that Amanda and Alice were coming back and he didn't want them to hear this part of the conversation "you can go if you want to"

"Bye man" Toby said and they left.

"It was nice to meet you Nick" Alice said "but I must go…have fun you two"

"It was nice to meet you too Alice" Nick shook her hand and she waved at them before leaving.

Amanda and Nick looked at each other "looks like we're alone now" Nick said.

"We've got real good friends, don't we?" Amanda chuckled.

"They are not so bad" he said and they listened to the band, laughing once in a while.

"Maybe we can walk away" Nick tried to sound casual.

"And miss this? I'm not an expert in poetry but the lyrics…what did he just sing _? When you're in by bed you're under my sheets_?" Nick nodded and Amanda continued "maybe we should get away, before they ruin music for me"

"Are you hungry?" he hoped she'd say yes.

"I could eat" Amanda tilted her head to the right, as if she was thinking about it "how about Chinese?"

"I love Chinese, and there's a pretty decent place not too far from the beach" he suggested.

"Cool, lead the way"

Nick realized he was still holding the beer bottle she gave him earlier and looked around for a trash bin. He couldn't find one so he walked towards the restaurant with it.

"I must admit I really like Chinese so I persuaded my friends to go there more than just a couple of times" he spotted a bin not too far "just a sec" he showed her the bottle and Amanda smiled. He rushed to throw it away. When he turned to her Amanda was looking away, it seemed like there was something on her mind, the way she was staring into the distance. She looked so beautiful, the light wind was playing with her hair and she tried to move a few strands behind her ear. Suddenly Nick wanted to be the one to do that, to touch that golden hair of hers. It was weird, he didn't even know her. Why was his heart beating faster looking at her?

Nick shook his head, literally trying to shake the thought away.

"Ready?" he walked back to her and she raised her eyes to him.

"Yeah, let's go, I'm hungrier than I thought"


	2. Chapter 2

The place was pretty empty, most of the college kids were probably at the show or trying to get into some bar. A Chinese place wasn't exactly a popular hang out place for that age group. Nick offered to order the food and eat somewhere else, the beach wasn't far and he thought it would be nice to sit there.

"Like some sort of a picnic?" She looked up.

"If that's what you want to call it, but I don't have a blanket so we're gonna have to sit on the sand, or we can stay here"

"I can handle the sand" she grinned "I'm gonna check out the jukebox for a sec, ok? Maybe they have something by The Dancing Kites"

"But if they do we're not leaving" he warned and Amanda's smile widened, she touched his arm and walked to the machine.

Nick placed the order and walked over to Amanda, she was checking out the names of the songs.

"Any luck?" he asked.

"Sorry to disappoint, but looks like we are never going to hear them again" she took a deep breath and tried to look sad.

"I'm sorry to hear that, can I make it up to you?"

"I'd ask you to buy me a beer" she smiled and whispered the next words "but you don't look like the kind of guy to break the law"

Nick looked away, he didn't want to mention his profession. He felt like it would put an end to this and he wanted to spend more time with her, not less.

"You're not wrong, but I promise not to tell anyone about the drink from earlier"

"Nick!" the girl at the counter called.

"Looks like our food is ready" she said and Nick picked it up.

They walked to the beach quietly and Nick led her to an empty spot. He wanted to share this time just the two of them. The thought made him chuckle and Amanda gave him a puzzled look. What was up with him? She was pretty but that was never the only thing he noticed, he didn't know her at all but still wanted to be there with her. He had no idea what it was, but there was _something_.

"How about here?" he gestured at the sand and instead of talking she just sat down. He followed her and took out the boxes.

Amanda watched him checking out the writing on the containers. She was sitting in a pretty remote location, with this man she didn't know one bit. They were on this impromptu date and it was nice. She had no idea why, but it was nice.

"Noodles?" he handed her one of the boxes and she nodded and took it from his hands.

"You're not keeping the good stuff away, are you?" she looked at the box he was holding.

"Sweet and spicy chicken" he offered her the food and she gladly took some with her chopsticks.

"Well? What do you say?" he asked.

"Decent, as you said" she finished chewing.

"Good prices" he regretted saying it, not wanting to sound like a cheapskate, money wasn't a subject he wanted to discuss.

Amanda smiled at him and took more of the chicken "good prices are important, I have a crappy job and it sucks…" she looked at him "you know what, how about we keep personal details out of this, just…talk about other stuff"

"Alright" he agreed, not sure if it was a good idea or not, but he was going to humor her because maybe she had a point, tonight was about fun and it's not like they were heading anywhere.

She moved another strand of hair behind her ear and he watched as the wind blew it away again. He couldn't control the laugh that escaped his lips and Amanda gave him a mean stare but burst into a laugh herself. They finished eating and placed the empty boxes back into the plastic bag.

"Thanks Nick" she smiled and lay down on the sand "I like the ocean, don't see much of it though"

"Neither do I, it's like life takes over and you're too busy"

"So that's how real life is?" she asked.

"Ha?"

"You know, they always say that after college it's the real life and I'm wondering if real life is just about being busy, is there nothing else?"

"I'm no expert" he shrugged and tried to think of an answer.

"Funny thing is" she closed her eyes "the life I'm living now seems pretty real…not a dress rehearsal and all that"

"You're really philosophical" he lay down next to her, his hand almost touching hers.

"I have my moments" she giggled and turned her head to him. They smiled at the other and Nick wanted to kiss her. He wanted so badly to taste her lips, they looked so soft. But Nick was afraid to make the move, something inside him was afraid she'd turn him down, and why wouldn't she? It's not like they are seeing each other. Or maybe they are, after all, this is some kind of a bizarre date. Maybe it wasn't a date for her, whatever it was, the definition didn't matter.

"I don't think you should worry about what people say about life…it just happens"

"I know…it's sad"

"Yeah?"

"At least we got to see The Dancing Kites" she had to change the subject from this conversation " _and if you think you're right – you are not – you're_ _wrong_ …" she sang a line from one of the songs.

"You have a pretty voice"

"Thanks" she smiled "I think I'm warming up to them, maybe we shouldn't have left the concert"

"Sorry, I'm sure you could catch another show some other time"

"I wonder if they have a website" Amanda looked at him, she had a twinkle in her eyes and he knew she was kidding "I'll look for it on the internet"

"You should while you still have the chance"

"What?"

"You know, they say that next year the computers are going to crash and…"

Amanda sat up "you're talking about Y2K?" she looked at him in disbelief and laughed.

"I'm just repeating what I've heard" he felt a bit hurt.

"But do you really believe that? That the world's gonna end?" she tried to control her voice but a few giggles escaped her mouth anyway.

"Ok" Nick sat up and looked at her seriously "I read about this woman who turned hundred and since the programs couldn't handle it they turned her into a new born, what if something like this happens?"

"Then we all become young again…sounds good to me" Amanda looked at him and let her hand play with the sand while the other rested on her knee.

"We're pretty young right now"

"I guess we are, which is why we're here so late…if we were hundred years old we'd be asleep right now"

"Unless we lived in another time zone" Nick glanced at her hand, it was drawing circles in the sand.

"I guess…" she sounded a bit disinterested and Nick was afraid the conversation was dying down.

"We're probably not gonna make it to hundred anyways" she gave him a curious look "with the whole Y2K thing" he smiled and was relieved to see her lips curve into a grin.

"Are you really scared of it?" she looked into his eyes "seriously"

"Seriously?" she nodded at him "what I'm scared of is that it's unknown…it probably won't be the end of the world but what if it will change things, turn everything around"

"What's wrong with that? A change can be good"

"Sometimes, but I always saw my life going in one direction…" the kinda cool façade he'd been trying to keep up with was already gone so Nick didn't feel completely uncomfortable telling her this, even though it would probably be too much honesty.

"You look like that kind of guy, somebody who's got everything figured out" she looked straight ahead at the water.

"I don't have everything figured out, I just know what I want, in general" he said.

"What's that?" she looked back at him.

"Be someone at my job, get ahead, have a family…be happy" he replied, they agreed not to share personal details but telling her this felt very personal.

"Not too original" she looked at her feet and Nick followed her gaze, ending up staring at her flip flops.

"What about you?"

"What do you think?" their eyes met again and Nick felt like he'd been stung by something, only it didn't hurt, it felt good.

"Is that a trick question?" he chuckled but she shook her head and waited for a reply "I think you want to be happy too"

"Good guess" she took a deep breath and laid her head back down, she didn't care about getting sand in her hair, she loved the way it felt against her.

Amanda closed her eyes and Nick allowed himself to really look at her, almost exploring her with his eyes. She licked her lower lip and he watched her, almost in a trance. What was going on with him?

"Can I ask you something?" she kept her eyes shut.

"Yeah"

"Was this some kind of a bet?"

"What do you mean?" Nick wasn't sure what she was referring to.

"Me, did you make some kind of a bet with your friends?" she opened her eyes and Nick looked into the blue which was now dark due to the lack of light, her eyelids dropped down again.

"I swear it wasn't, they tried to persuade me to talk to someone, but there's no bet" he wasn't sure whether she was offended by the news "and I should thank them"

Hearing this Amanda opened her eyes, she remained silent and he couldn't read her.

"If they didn't say anything maybe I wouldn't have talked to you" no maybes, if Toby and Donnie hadn't almost made him do it, he wouldn't have spoken to her.

"And maybe you'd still be at the show, listening to my favorite band"

"I like the way things turned out" what Nick wanted to say was that he was happy to be there with her, but maybe it would sound a bit much…

"Me too" she replied quietly and he had to look away to hide his huge grin from her.

Trying to hide the smile Nick's eyes fell on the takeout bag, he noticed they didn't eat the fortune cookies.

"Want me to tell your future?" he asked.

"Wouldn't have pegged you as a fortune teller" she sat up, placing her hands on her knees.

"Not me, the restaurant" he handed her one of the cookies.

"You first" she watched as he opened it and took out the small piece of paper "well?" he kept it hidden from her while he read the short line.

"Soon the future will become your present"

"Deep" she hurried to open hers and chuckled as she looked at the paper, turning it around and revealing the fact it was empty "I guess I'm doomed" she shrugged and ate the sweet dough "maybe we switched them, this is a special preview of Y2K for you" she started laughing and Nick joined in "the computers are taking over"

"I guess I'm the one who's doomed" he took the paper from her and placed it in his back pocket.

"So how are you going to spend these last few months on earth?" Amanda leaned on her forearms and looked at him.

"I'm bad at these kind of decisions" he confessed.

"I can see that…you look like a goody two-shoes"

"You did not just say that" he shook his head "this really hurts my feelings"

"I am so sorry" her voice wasn't too sincere.

"No, you're not!" he laughed.

"You told me you're a nice guy" she reminded him.

"There's a difference though" he countered.

"This is all the proof I need" she shrugged and sat up again "it only bothers you cause you are one"

"How bout I prove it to you" Nick offered and without waiting for a response he stood up and started quickly removing the plain black shirt he had on and got rid of his jeans and sandals. Amanda was a bit shocked, was he planning on going skinny dipping? She was right only about the dipping part, he left his boxers on and ran to the water.

Amanda watched him, damn this Nick was sexy. It was dark but she could see his defined muscles, his hot abs, there was no doubt he liked working out, but not too much like some guys she'd met. She did not want to look away.

"Well…" he returned a few minutes later with a smug smile, as if he'd just proven his point.

"You think that going into the water, in the summer, wearing something that could pass as swim trunks…is daring?" she giggled and leaned back again.

Nick sat down next to her, she was right, this wasn't daring at all. The wind was blowing again, messing with her hair. This time Nick moved closer and reached it, he touched the light strands and locked his eyes with hers as he tucked it behind her ear. Nick kept his hand there and with a voice barely over a whisper murmured her name.

"Amanda" he said softly and she didn't budge, didn't hide her eyes from him "can I kiss you?"

He uttered the words with his lips almost touching hers already, his eyes were glued to hers, like he was staring deep into them.

Amanda wasn't sure if she nodded, she was a bit lost in the way he looked at her. There was something so genuine there, like it was a real need, not some game he was playing. She slightly raised her chin and Nick caressed her cheek before letting his lips brush up against hers. He was moving so slow, not wanting to rush the kiss. His mouth touched her lips again and this time she parted them a bit, allowing him to gently capture her lower lips.

They kept on taking it slow, barely moving. Amanda raised her right hand to run it through his hair but lost her balance and almost fell on the sand. Nick had good reflexes and caught her just in time. She smiled, not pulling way from his mouth and they sat up to prevent any other accidents.

Amanda let her fingers trail through his wet hair and pulled him closer, parting her lips even more and letting her tongue swipe over his lip. Once he let her in she could taste a bit of the salty water from the ocean on his tongue. Nick placed his palm on her knee and squeezed tenderly.

They heard voices and pulled away, smiling at one another.

"Looks like we're not alone anymore" she saw a few people walking towards the beach.

"You wanna go somewhere else?" his hand was still on her and when she nodded he moved it so he could grab his clothes.

She stood up, not taking her eyes off him as he got dressed and even though he noticed Nick didn't mention how much he liked it.

"Come on" he brushed off the remains of the sand from his jeans and they walked away.

* * *

For a while they walked in silence, their hands brushing against one another a couple of times.

"Here's the restaurant" Amanda noticed they'd passed the Chinese food place "if you want to complain about the cookie"

"I'm gonna pass, I don't think they're open anyway"

"What time is it?"

Nick checked his watch "it's almost two a.m." he sounded somewhat surprised, time flew by "want me to walk you to your room?" it was the right thing to say, the polite thing to offer, but he regretted it, what if she says yes? What if the night was over?

"Not really" this time she tried to sound casual "we could go to yours, it's empty, isn't it?"

Damn, she must have heard the guys say they won't be spending the night there. What was she thinking of him? But maybe it didn't matter, he wanted her and from the way she looked at him it felt like she was interested too.

He wasn't really into one night stands but he wanted to be with her, really wanted to. So he nodded and they walked to the motel. On the way there they talked about things they'd done during this vacation. Not that there was much to say, it was the kind of vacation where you barely do anything.

"This is it" they stopped by the motel and Nick could see the light was off in his room. To save money the three of them stayed in the same one, getting a folding bed. Luckily Nick didn't have to sleep on it as Donnie lost the draw.

Nick took her hand in his and they walked up to the room. He unlocked the door and let her walk in front of him.

"Fancy" she looked around.

"You're staying at the Ritz?" he teased.

"Maybe…"

"How bout we go there, I've never been" he raised an eyebrow suggestively without even being aware of it and walked closer to her.

Amanda tried not to smile too widely and she scanned the room again. The beds were all made and she saw three bags. Nick sat on his bed and watched her, he wondered what she was thinking but he didn't have to wait too long to find out.

"You sure you didn't make a bet?" she moved closer to him and he shook his head, maybe she was hurt by the possibility.

"That's a shame" her answer surprised him but then she straddled him "cause you would have made some money"

Amanda captured his mouth with hers and the kiss was heated from the get go, they didn't waste time on exploring the other's tongue, right now they wanted the other's body.

Nick pulled her closer, but had to let her go so he could take off his shirt. Once his chest was bare Nick grabbed her shirt, he was dying to see her, to taste her skin. Amanda raised her hands to help him out and he threw the fabric away. His next move was to nibble on her neck, he moved up and down eliciting a soft moan from her.

Amanda's eyes were closed and she just enjoyed the way his lips felt against her and the way his muscular back felt when her palms traveled all over it. His mouth moved higher, kissing her chin and reaching her lips again. She welcomed his tongue and while they kissed he got rid of her bra, leaving her half naked on top of him.

Nick turned them around carefully, he let her mouth go and smiled at her before moving up to take down his jeans and sandals. He realized there was some sand stuck to him but he hoped she wouldn't mind. Since he was standing up Nick took the opportunity to remove her shorts, she raised her thighs to help him out and he looked at her, lying there wearing only her underwear.

He got on top of her and kissed those soft lips again, she looked so beautiful and he told her that, whispering it in her ear.

"You're kinda hot yourself" she hissed and he laughed against her skin.

"Thank you" he looked into her eyes, he wanted to travel down her body, let his lips meet every inch of that smooth skin and then bury himself inside her.

She raised her head and kissed his shoulder before looking up at him "condom?" she asked.

 _Oh crap._

The realization hit him hard and he felt the excitement leaving him at once, making room for many, many curses. He never planned on doing anything like this so he didn't bring protection.

"You serious?" she didn't even need him to say anything, it was written all over his face "damn it" she looked away "don't your friends have any?"

He gave her a confused look and moved to sit beside her.

"Check their things" Amanda gestured at their bags.

Nick gave her another look before doing what she'd asked. He ignored his, knowing there was no use to even go through it, and moved first to Donnie's things, almost throwing everything on the floor. Amanda watched as he was looking for the condom. With the worry written on his face he still looked cute and Amanda tried to hide a giggle.

Nick had to search Toby's bag, Donnie's wasn't helpful and he could only guess that he had taken them with him. Same went for Toby's.

"No luck?" she asked, he looked a bit defeated.

"Sorry" he stood up and leaned on the wall, trying to calm down, she'd already covered herself up with the blanket.

"Me too, but no risking it, don't wanna get pregnant and…" she stopped talking.

"No, you're right" Nick looked away and got up "how about" he threw her a bag of chips from the table and she looked at him with a mixture of fear and confusion in her eyes.

"This isn't some weird New York thing, is it?" she asked.

"What, eating?" they didn't have to sleep together, but she could stay longer.

"I don't know, maybe it's some kind of a sex thing I don't know about" she shrugged and put on his shirt.

Nick chuckled and they both laughed, easing up the disappointment they both felt "I just thought that maybe you don't have to go"

"It's late…" she figured it must have been after three now.

Nick nodded "I can walk you back or you can sleep here if you want to"

"You won't mind?" she was a bit tired and her motel was far.

"Of course not, I wasn't going to kick you out if we'd…"

"How about that snack" she raised the bag and opened it after he nodded at her.

The chips helped to lighten the mood even more and they both leaned against the headboard and talked about food. Nick mentioned, again, that he was a fan of Chinese and Amanda said she always had room for pizza. By the time they emptied the bag the two of them were sleepy and Nick didn't offer to sleep in another bed, he just wrapped his arms around her and they drifted off without even saying goodnight.

* * *

As often happens after a late night, morning came way too soon, eliciting a frown and a curse from Amanda.

"Mmm?" Nick mumbled as he opened his eyes.

"I don't know what time it is, but it's way too early" she didn't sit up, Nick's arms were still wrapped around her and it felt too good to end.

"You're right"

"Always" she mumbled against his chest.

They heard noised from outside and Nick recognized the voices of his friends. How long were they out there?

"I should probably go" she sat up and got out of the bed a moment later. She took off his shirt so she could quickly put back her bra. She didn't want her nakedness to be a reminder of what didn't happen, even though they both were thinking about it.

"Hey" she turned to him after zipping up the shorts "how about we put a little show for your friends?" she figured they were thinking Nick got some and he would have, so why not?

Nick wasn't sure what she had in mind, he wasn't going to say a word either way. Her conniving smile convinced him, not that she shared the plan with him. He followed her to the door, the voices were louder now.

She smiled at him before opening the door and he wanted to stop her, ask her to stay, they could just talk the entire day. But it was too late. Amanda opened the door and Donnie and Toby turned to look at them.

Amanda ignored them and turned to Nick "last night was…" she didn't finish the sentence and just kissed him, really kissed him. Her tongue almost attacked his but he had no time to recuperate, it was hot but so short. She touched his stomach, gave it a quick squeeze and turned away.

"Bye…" he whispered, a little taken aback.

Toby and Donnie exchanged a look and stood up.

"Good for you Nicky" Donnie said and almost pushed him into the room "apparently Toby here has something to share with us"

Nick wanted to run after her but then Toby spoke up.

"I'm moving to England" he said.

"What?" Nick looked at the guys, not sure he heard right, not really sure of anything at the moment.

"He's moving to England" Donnie said "the bastard didn't say one word the entire vacation…"

Nick looked away, trying to find Amanda, he could hear more about this later, right now he wanted to get her phone number, email, anything. Where did she go?

But he couldn't spot her. She was gone.

And all he knew about her was her first name and the fact she was from Atlanta.

That was it.

 _That was it._


	3. Chapter 3

_I am very sorry about the confusion. I had to publish it again cause I had problems accessing the fic, the site's been giving me a lot of problems but it seems to be working fine and I hope it's gonna be smooth sailing from now on._

 _Here's a quick update to make it up to you, I hope you'll like it. Rollaro meet again and…well…more things happen._

* * *

Amanda unlocked the door to the motel room, she was exhausted walking the entire way from Nick's room to hers.

"And then I…" she saw that Alice was talking on the phone "Ben, Amanda's here we'll talk later"

"Don't hang up" Amanda shook her head "we still have some time before we have to check out, right?"

"Yeah, a couple of hours" Alice said.

"Good" Amanda mumbled and climbed into the bed, kicking the flip flops away but not bothering to change her clothes. She still had to drive back to Atlanta later and wanted to catch up on some sleep. Resting her head on the pillow Amanda felt something in the pit of her stomach, the feeling traveled all over her body and Amanda tried to ignore it, hoping it would go away. It was sadness.

* * *

"England, ha?" Donnie asked.

The guys decided to go out for breakfast and question Toby about the move. They tried to ask Nick about the previous night, specially after seeing that their things were all over the floor. Nick kept his mouth shut and they let it go.

"Sorry I didn't say anything sooner, but I wanted us to have fun" he exchanged another look with Donnie.

"I had a great time, and I hate that it's over…but…" he leaned back in his chair and smiled at the waitress who brought them water "now that the boys of summer are gone, the love won't go on…"

"What are you talking about?" Toby raised frowned at him "the song? That's not how it goes…it's the opposite"

"No, he can't see her and can't tell her the love will be strong…"

"Yes he can see her and he can tell that, you have a hearing problem" he looked at Nick "you know that song? Who's right?"

Nick shrugged, he heard them but his mind was somewhere else, he was thinking of Amanda, the way she kissed him before leaving, the way she touched him.

"And then it goes _I thought I knew what love was, what did I know? Those days are gone forever, I should just let them go…"_

"No" Nick jumped in, he didn't want to let go of this night but realized he had no idea what they were talking about.

The guys gave him a puzzled look "he's right about that part Nicky, that's how the song goes" Donnie said "but I'm sure that…"

"Doesn't matter" Toby stopped him "I'll look into it when I get home and prove I'm right"

"Home to England?" Nick had to join in the conversation, thinking about Amanda wasn't very useful now. He had almost no time left with his friends before his flight back to New York.

* * *

"Mom?" Nick walked into the apartment. Having a low income forced him to live with his mother, something that had it's pros and cons. He loved Cesaria and appreciated everything she did for him, but he wasn't a kid anymore and needed his own space.

"Nicky!" she greeted him "how was your vacation?"

"It was great, tiring too, but I had fun" he looked at his bag "I'm gonna take a shower and put my clothes in the washing machine"

Cesaria checked in on him after he was done with the shower "don't forget to empty the pockets" he was placing the clothes in the machine.

"I know mom" to prove it he took a pair of jeans and checked if there was anything left in them.

Nick was a little surprised to feel something in the back pocket. A piece of paper.

"What is it?" she asked seeing that Nick smiled when he took it out.

"Just the paper from a fortune cookie, I got an empty one" he explained "probably a little oversight"

"That is the best thing, now it could be anything you want it to" Cesaria was pleased he was careful with the machine and left him alone.

Once Nick was done he walked to his bedroom and looked at the blank paper. Maybe his mother had a point. It could be whatever he wanted.

Nick took a pen and wrote _'you will meet Amanda again'_ he was certain she had a place in his future.

* * *

 **Spring of 2000**

* * *

Nick parked the police vehicle not far from the diner and walked inside. Toby called him a couple of days ago to let him know he'd be visiting New York. He moved to England less than two weeks after the vacation in Florida so Nick was glad to see him.

They haven't spoken much since the move, with work, different time zones and life happening it wasn't too surprising.

But from the little he did know, Toby was happy there. Donnie always said he'd be successful, he was good with numbers, good with people, good with everything. Nick was happy for him, he deserved success. Nick just wanted to have good news of his own.

Being a rookie cop wasn't easy, not that he expected it to be, he just hoped his instructor would actually care. His best advice was 'if you see a crime - try to stop it, or call back up'. So much for a mentor.

"Nick" Toby spotted him and Nick walked to the table, exchanging a quick hug with his friend before sitting down.

"How's it going?"

"Not too bad" Toby smiled "how are you? You've found out if women love men in uniform?"

"Funny" Nick chuckled and looked at the menu.

A waitress took their order and walked to the kitchen. Toby told him about England, he mostly had good things to say, he loved his job, his apartment, the girl he's been dating.

"What about you?" Toby asked "seeing anyone?"

"Too busy, with work and all that" he shrugged, trying to brush it off. He didn't want to date anyone.

"I get it...it's good that you're focused"

"I have to be, cause let me tell you Toby" the waitress brought them the food and they thanked her "it's not easy, not that I thought it would be, but…"

"It's different" Toby finished the sentence and Nick nodded "look, I'm gonna tell you something but don't act all weird, ok?" Nick stopped eating and looked at his friend, wondering what he was about to say "you're the best man I know, you care about people and want to help them. This is why you joined the police, you could have done something else, with better benefits and a better paycheck. Still, you chose this" he gestured at Nick's uniform "it might take more time, but it will get better. If not, I'll get you a job at my firm"

"Thanks" Nick turned his attention back to his food.

"You really haven't been seeing anyone? Kinda lonely, isn't it?"

"There was someone…but I lost contact and don't know much about her"

"You're a cop, can't you find out?" Toby sipped from his drink.

"I know her name and where she's from. Doubt there's only one Amanda in Atlanta"

Toby was about to ask where he met this Amanda from Atlanta when he realized he was there the night they'd met "you've gotta be kidding me" he said "that girl you hooked up with in Florida?"

Nick didn't say anything, confirming Toby's suspicion.

"Nick Amaro, sleeping with a girl he knows nothing about" he whispered, not wanting to embarrass his friend.

"Yeah well…" Nick had no words, it was the first time he admitted out loud that she meant more to him, that one night should have lead to more.

"Didn't she have a friend?" Toby asked.

"Yeah, her name's Alice, but again, there's probably more than just one"

"Alice?" Toby looked away "Donnie and I talked to her for a sec before you two disappeared…Alice…Baker, that's her last name she goes to Georgia State"

Nick stared at his friend, he spent the entire night with Amanda and knew no personal details about her and Toby got this info in a few seconds.

"That's helpful"

"You're gonna go there?" Toby looked at him.

"I have no idea" Nick took another bite, he needed a moment to think and not talk.

All this time he thought it wasn't going to happen, how could he find her when he had almost zero information. But now he had more. They were probably going to the same school and if not, he could talk to this Alice…he sounded crazy…

"You're already planning the flight, ha?" Toby remarked "since I know you're not some crazy stalker I won't say anything to change your mind, but think about it, ok?"

"Yeah" Nick swallowed the food. Could he do that? Just fly over there?

* * *

Using the NYPD's database for personal use wasn't exactly encouraged. But as Toby mentioned, Nick wasn't some crazy stalker. He felt something for her, maybe she felt something too. But how could they find one another?

Having a bit more info Nick was able to find Alice Baker. Now he had to go, this could be his only chance. If he can't find her, if this turns out to be a mistake – he's gonna let her go, not forget, but accept that it was not meant to be.

He took a few days off and booked a flight to Atlanta.

* * *

"I'd love to go to a movie this weekend, you can choose and it's gonna be a surprise" Alice said.

"Last time I did it you hated the movie"

"Well maybe this time I won't…if you choose something good, maybe a…" there was a knock on the door and Alice looked at it, wondering who it could be "go open it"

"Can I help you?" the man opened the door.

"I hope so" Nick said "I'm looking for Alice"

"You're looking for Alice?" he wasn't pleased with the answer, why was an unfamiliar man looking for her?

"Someone's looking for me?" she walked to the door and looked confused.

"Who are you?" the other man asked.

"My name's Nick, I've met you and your friend Amanda…"

"In Florida!" Alice almost gasped, she turned to the man standing next to her "Ben, that's the guy Amanda…met on our vacation"

"Oh" Ben relaxed a bit, still not sure why he just appeared at the door. But he moved so Nick could walk into the room.

Nick was able to find out the name of Alice's dorms but had to ask around until someone gave him the room number. There were no names on the door and he had no idea if Amanda was there. He decided it would be best to explain himself before she'd ask him anything.

"I know it's kind of weird, but the way we left things…I just…you know" explaining turned out to be harder than he thought.

Alice smiled at Ben, she wasn't going to say anything about how Amanda refused to give her any details about that night. First Alice thought something bad had happened and pushed hard, not accepting the silence, so Amanda told her some parts, Alice was certain some she kept to herself. But it was clear she liked the guy. The problem was the distance, she didn't believe in long distance anything.

"So you found her?" she asked.

"Kinda" Nick figured Ben was her boyfriend and wasn't sure if he should mention how he was able to find actually find Alice "is she here?"

"She's at practice, she's on the track team"

"Cool, I didn't know that" he didn't know anything.

"How about we go there" she smiled, not sure how Amanda would react, no one has ever done something like this for her. She wasn't going to miss that meeting.

"Yeah, I'll go with you" Ben said and handed Alice her jacket. He wasn't about to let his girlfriend go with this guy he knew nothing about, even if he was interested in Amanda, she was still Alice's best friend so he didn't want anything happening to her too.

"Thank you" Nick walked out of the room feeling a little light headed. Was this really happening? He was going to see Amanda.

* * *

She was talking to an older man, the coach, as Alice explained. Wearing leggings and a shirt with a panther on it.

All these months, all the uncertainty and now he was here, looking at her. It felt surreal, he felt like he was about to wake up. He flew all the way from New York to see her, after searching for her friend…how comes it didn't feel wrong?

Ben and Alice started talking about something, he wasn't listening, his gaze was focused on her. The coach walked away and another girl walked over, they stretched for a few minutes and Amanda waved at her, walking to a near by bench to take her things.

"Come on" Alice said and walked towards Amanda.

What would Amanda do? Nick asked himself. Would she scream? Ran away, maybe ran to him. He wouldn't mind if she does that.

They were close enough and once Amanda looked up she saw them. She saw him.

* * *

Alice grabbed Ben's hand and forced him to stop, she thought it would be best if they kept some distance from them.

Amanda stood there, staring at Nick so he walked to her.

"Hey" it was the first thing he could think of, sure, he had a whole speech planned, but only that word came to his brain when he finally found himself standing in front of her.

"Nick" the fact she remembered his name was a good sign, but the silence that followed didn't make him feel better.

"I have some explaining to do" Nick was starting to remember that speech.

"Ok" she felt like she had to do something, make some kind of a movement so she switched hands, now holding the bag in her left hand.

"I had to see you again" that wasn't the plan, but screw that, he was just going to say whatever comes up.

"Ok" she still looked at him, a bit shocked.

"Because I had to, in an absolutely not creepy or crazy way, to see you. It took some time but…I'm here"

"I can see that" the bag felt heavy, and she needed a shower after practice and…Nick was standing there, she could touch him if she wanted to. She thought they'd never meet again and…he was there.

"Can we maybe go talk somewhere?" he could have been wrong, she didn't want to see him, it was just an almost one night stand for her, nothing more.

"Yeah" she nodded "but I have to shower and change first"

"Of course, I'll wait" he tried to control the excitement, she didn't think he was too crazy to talk to.

"You can walk to the dorms with me…us" she noticed Alice and Ben were not too far "wait somewhere"

"I'd love that, thanks" she started walking and he followed.

"Hey Amanda" Alice smiled "you're going back to the dorms?"

"Yeah, I gotta…"

"Ben has to go to work but I'll go with you" she gave Ben a kiss and he said goodbye to them. Alice convinced him it would be fine.

The walk to the dorm was silent and uncomfortable, Nick waited for Amanda to say anything and she tried to ignore the looks Alice kept on throwing her. They reached the building and Nick offered to wait outside, not wanting to impose.

"I'll be down soon, ok?" she looked at him.

"I'll be here"

The girls disappeared and Nick sat down on the grass. It felt almost too much, but he had to talk to her. She was on his mind and he felt something he couldn't explain.

* * *

"Oh my god Amanda…" Alice had a huge smile on her face when they walked inside, making their way to the room.

"What about him?" Amanda asked, she knew Alice would make a comment about this but she needed to think, to realize what she was supposed to do.

"Must have been one crazy night if he found you after all these months" Alice had a romantic side to her, the one that got excited over romantic comedies and if it happened in reality.

"Alice" Amanda looked at her before opening the door "please shut up"

Alice wasn't insulted, this just proved her point, it meant something to Amanda.

* * *

After about twenty minutes Amanda emerged from the building. She was wearing a pair of torn up jeans and a red shirt. Her hair was wet and up in a bun.

He stood up when he saw her but when she got near him Amanda sat down and he did the same.

He smiled at her, trying to lighten the mood.

"So…" she smiled back "you came all this way from New York"

"To find you"

"Yeah?" she asked.

"Yeah" he nodded.

"It's kinda…" he didn't give her a chance to say more.

"I knew nothing about you, so it took a lot of time"

"I don't know if that helps your point" she chuckled.

"I'm gonna confess" he said and she raised her brows a bit, looking interested in this confession "I work at the NYPD, I'm an cop, so it was a little easier to find you"

"Is this about that beer? Are you here to arrest me?" her voice was serious but there was a smile in her eyes.

"I have no jurisdiction, so you're safe" he laughed, the awkwardness was slowly diffusing.

"How do I know it's true? You have your badge here?"

"I left it at home, sorry" he apologized.

"You have a cop's vibe so I'm gonna take your word…this time" she grinned and he felt like they were back at that beach, maybe he could kiss her again.

"Good to see you're alive, the computers didn't take over" she remembered their Y2K talk all those months ago.

"A few tried but I fought them off"

"Saved the day?" she started playing with the grass and Nick smiled, thinking about how those fingers played over his skin.

"Kinda…" he leaned closer and whispered "the city of New York was very grateful"

Amanda chuckled and was about to say something when she heard her name.

"Hey Mand" somebody called and Amanda turned around to see her friend Ashley.

"Hi Ashley" Amanda waved at her, hoping she'd go away, she wanted to talk to Nick without interruptions.

But the other woman had a different plan and she walked over to them "are you coming to our party tonight? You can bring your friend" she glanced at Nick.

"I don't know Ashley, I'll think about it"

"No, no, no" Ashley sat down next to her "you promised"

"There will be a lot of people there without me…but I'll think about it, so…" she wanted her to leave.

"Come on, it's gonna be fun" Ashley tried to persuade Amanda and turned to Nick "tell her to go to the party"

"Not if you continue to bug me" she rolled her eyes at her.

"Alright, fine" Ashley stood up "I hope to see you there, bye" she waved and walked away.

"A friend of yours?" Nick asked.

"More like an acquaintance" she shrugged "she's got a party at her sorority"

"You want to go? She invited me too so you could be my date" he offered.

"You're asking me out?"

"I'm not here for the peaches" he raised his eyebrows a little.

"Oh, I feel bad for them"

"You wanna go grab something to eat?" it was the first time Nick realized how hungry he's been.

She nodded and Nick quickly stood up, extending his right hand to help her up. Amanda grabbed it and Nick pulled her up, closer to him. They were inches apart, looking into the other's eyes. This time Nick didn't ask anything, he leaned even closer and kissed her. It was a soft kiss, he didn't want to make out in front of the students walking around.

"Where to?" he needed her to recommend a place to eat.

"How about Chinese? I have a feeling you like that"

* * *

Amanda and Nick ate and she showed him around. He held her hand in his as they walked and it felt good to be there with her.

"We should head back" she looked at him "I know you want to go to that party"

"It's cool if we don't, I want to spend time with you" he stopped and looked at her.

Amanda let go of his hand "Alice mentioned wanting to go so I think I should at least show up for a while"

"Ok" he nodded, following her back to the dorms.

* * *

Alice questioned them about their time alone but they didn't tell her much. Nick sat on one of the chairs while Amanda sat on her bed. They couldn't hide the little glances they kept throwing at each other and Alice was about to leave the two of them alone so they could do more. She didn't mind giving them privacy but the next thing Amanda said made Alice change her mind.

"We're going to Ashley's party" Amanda let her know.

"Really?" Alice was surprised.

"Nick really wants to go" Amanda winked at him and he smiled shyly.

"Really?" Alice asked skeptically "Ben's working the night shift so we'll go together" she gave Amanda another questioning look, wanting to make sure she really wanted to go to the party instead of spending time alone with Nick. But Amanda just nodded so Alice didn't say anything for a moment.

Nick took the opportunity to scan the room. There was a Braves shirt hanging on the other chair, two pairs of shoes thrown under Amanda's bed. The room seemed tidy, but he had a feeling it was due to his presence and not because they kept it that way. He turned his attention to the books. Somehow, even during the time they've been spending together since he arrived to Georgia, they barely exchanged any personal information.

"What's this?" he raised one of the books, it was about crime scenes and he smiled looking at Amanda.

"It's called a book" she took it from him, knowing what he was about to say.

"What's your major?" Nick grinned at her, it was clearly a book for school and not light reading

"Forensic science" she replied quietly.

Nick took another book and chuckled. Alice gave Amanda another puzzled look, wondering what this was about.

A while later they were about to go to the party when Alice grabbed something from her desk.

"Why are you taking this old thing?" Amanda asked.

"I like it" she showed Nick the Polaroid camera "I know there are much better stuff, but I love this one"

Amanda shook her head and they left.

The place was filled with college kids and Nick felt a bit out of place, it hasn't been that long since he graduated. Alice left to talk to some of her friends and Amanda and Nick found a somewhat empty spot to talk at.

He loved the way she was smiling at him, it was loud so she had to lean closer to talk to him. Nick rested his hand on the small of her back which caused her to move even closer to him.

"I have a feeling you didn't go to parties too much…or go to many now" she said.

"Not too much, but I like spending time with you"

Amanda gave him another bright smile "I like that too" she stood on her toes and whispered in his ear "don't worry about that thing we didn't have last time"

Her voice sent shivers down his spine and a part of him wanted to just carry her out of there, he offered to get them a drink instead.

* * *

"Having fun?" Alice asked him when she spotted him.

"Yeah" Nick nodded.

"I have something for you" she handed him a photograph. It was the moment Amanda whispered to him.

"Thanks" he placed it in his back pocket.

"Sure" she played with her cup for a second and looked at him again "I have to ask you something"

"Of course"

"You and Amanda, what's that about?" she didn't give him a chance to reply "I can tell you like each other, and that's sweet. But is this a hookup? More?"

Nick wanted it to be more, but he had to discuss this with Amanda so he just shrugged.

"Amanda's my best friend and she's a good one too. But there's something you have to know" Nick looked at her curiously "she doesn't like distance, she has this thing about it ruining things…so…you're not kids, and it's not really my business, but…just know that, ok?" they both raised their eyes to look at Amanda and Alice muttered a curse seeing who she was talking to "you should go save your girl"

"Ha?" he was confused.

"That guy's a jerk, Carl Patton, he's a real…jerk" she handed him a fresh drink and gestured at her friend.


	4. Chapter 4

"Ashley told me you'd be here" Carl walked over to Amanda.

"She did?" Amanda took a step back, she never liked Carl, the way ho spoke, the way he always tried to get closer. But he took a few classes with her so there was no way to avoid him completely.

"You finished the paper for Erickson's class?" he asked, checking her out without even hiding it.

"Yeah" Amanda looked away, trying to spot Nick, but he was lost in the crowd, seemed like half of the people in the party decided to get drinks right when he did.

"That's a shame, I thought we could write it together, I'm sure it would help my grades" he moved towards her again.

"You ever thought about studying? I hear that works" she regretted saying that, knowing that it would just encourage him to talk to her.

"I like how funny you are Amanda, and not just funny, why haven't we gone out?" he went straight to the point. Not that Amanda wasn't aware of it, he tried to ask her out on more than one occasion. Sometimes 'asking' wasn't the right verb. But Amanda hated the guy, he thought he deserved everything, if he wanted it – it was his.

Amanda usually knew how to handle him, she often ignored him completely and just walked away. But he wasn't giving up and a part of her wasn't sure that one day he'd just do more, not take no for an answer.

"You know, I'm gonna be working for my uncle at the station for a few days, if you want to join" he knew she was interested in law enforcement and tried to use the fact his uncle had connections at the Atlanta police department.

"Good for you" she still couldn't see Nick, but people were walking to the impromptu dance floor and she hoped he'd be back soon, and if he won't be, she'd go look for him.

"I'm sure it's gonna look great in your resume if you do this, he won't say no if I…" he tried to reach her shoulder but she slapped his hand.

"What the hell?" she raised her voice, but it was lost in the loud noise "I say no, just leave me alone"

"That would be a crime, I don't think that walking out on a pretty girl like you is legal"

"Kicking you would be illegal, but it's gonna be worth it" she gave him a mean stare and in that moment she heard a familiar voice.

"Here's your drink" Nick handed her the plastic cup and looked at Carl. First it seemed like they were just talking but once he saw her move his hand away Nick rushed to her side. He felt Amanda move closer to him and wrapped one arm around her "hey" he nodded at the other guy. He wasn't sure if Alice was joking or exaggerating when she told him to go save Amanda. But looking at this guy's face he didn't like him. It was clear he had less than honorable intentions when it came to Amanda. But Nick didn't want to cause a scene.

Amanda leaned into Nick's body, instantly feeling safer. His smug smile disappeared for a second, but it returned too quickly.

"Who's your friend?" he asked and didn't wait for an answer "you go here?"

"None of your business" she replied angrily "maybe you better to away and work on that paper"

"I'd rather work on something else" he glanced at Nick who was ready to give up on the 'not causing a scene' idea and now contemplated on how hard to punch him "I don't mind sharing"

Nick was about to let his fist decide when Amanda poured her drink all over Carl, leaving him soaked in beer. A couple of people witnessed the interaction and laughed.

"Let's go outside" she pulled Nick after her.

"I'm not getting you another beer" Nick tried to joke once they were out of the building.

"I don't feel like one" she sat down on a nearby bench.

"He's a piece of work" he noted but Amanda ignored it.

"I don't want to leave without Alice, she's gonna hear about this and probably be here soon, ok?" Amanda wanted to go back to her dorm room but she wasn't going to leave Alice alone at the party.

"Sure, your friend's nice" Alice's words about distance jumped into his mind but Nick pushed them away, they'll talk about it later "other people are not as nice"

"Yeah" Amanda nodded, realizing Nick wasn't about to let it go "he thinks he owns everything"

"Sure acts that way" Nick agreed.

"His uncle works at the APD and he helped him a couple of times, no one knows exactly what happened, but it makes people think he's untouchable"

"I've met my share of people like that"

"And to think I wasted my beer on him" she smiled at Nick "the one beer you brought me, even though that's not allowed"

"Are you going to get me arrested?" he asked "maybe I should be careful if you're planning to go into law enforcement"

"I promise not to tell anyone, our little secret" she scooted closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder. Nick was a bit taken aback by the sudden affectionate gesture, but he liked it and planted a kiss on her head.

"So why did you choose forensic science?" he asked.

"I like it" she replied without moving her head "why did you join the police force?"

"I like it" he repeated her answer which got him a playful smack on the chest "hey…" he acted hurt "I do like it, most of the time"

"Yeah?" she raised her head to look at him and he let his hand hold onto hers.

"I guess I think it's a way to make a difference, help people…not that I learned how yet, my guide is not overly excited about his job"

"What do you mean?"

"His motto is: if you see a crime - try to stop it, or call backup" he chuckled.

"He has a point" Amanda smiled.

"The whole point is to show me how, talk about the job, teach…what?" he asked seeing the expression on her face, as if she was examining his.

"Nothing" she whispered and he felt her hand move to the back of his head, pulling him into a kiss.

Nick let her take over, her lips were so soft and he loved how tenderly she touched him. As if she wasn't in a hurry, like they had the entire time in the world. Their mouths exchanged more pecks, not pulling too far away. Nick entangled his fingers in her hair and let his other hand rest on her thigh. Amanda pulled him even closer, heating up the kiss. Her mouth opened so his tongue could enter and he happily complied.

Nick let her go only when he felt he might pass out due to the lack of air, she was breathing heavily too and looked away while she tried to calm down.

"I better go check on her" she stood up but Nick grabbed her hand.

"I'll go with you" he didn't like the thought of her being there with that douchebag Carl. Amanda nodded in agreement and he stood up, not letting go of her hand as they walked back in.

Nick spotted Carl talking to someone, he had a different shirt on and he noticed Amanda and Nick but didn't do anything.

"Alice!" Amanda called and Nick turned his attention back to her.

"Amanda…I heard you gave Carl a shower…" she giggled "not like that Nick, don't worry" she assured him and he smiled goofily.

"Are you drunk?" Amanda asked even though the answer was obvious.

"Just a little, I'm terrible with alcohol Nick, that's so sad…"

"Don't worry about it, let's go back to your room" he thought she'd need help but seemed to walk straight enough.

"I can sleep somewhere else" Alice said once they were outside again. She winked at Amanda and then at Nick.

"I don't think so" Amanda shook her head "Ben's working, where are you gonna go?"

Alice's lips curved into a drunken smile and she took out her camera to take their picture.

"Alice" Amanda tried to protest but it was no use.

"You're cute together" she looked at the photo, it hasn't appear yet but Alice didn't seem to mind "you'll make pretty babies…" she started laughing and Amanda's face turned red.

"Shut up or I'll make you sleep on the grass" she said seriously.

"Then you could go up to our room and really make babies…because Nick…we have a rule" she walked to him "no funny business when the other one's there, I love Amanda but not in that way" she laughed at her own joke.

"How about we concentrate on getting you there in one piece, don't worry about anything else, ok?"

"Good idea…yes"

They reached the building and Nick walked with them up the stairs. Alice climbed into the bed and fell asleep instantly.

"You can stay" Amanda took off the rubber band and let her hair fall down.

"I can sleep in the car, I don't want to bother her" he gestured at Alice.

"You won't, and I'm not gonna kick you out. But I must warn you, it's not too comfortable"

"I've slept in worse places" he had a feeling that falling asleep next to her would be very comfortable, no matter where.

"Ok" she moved closer "I'll kick her out in the morning" she planted a kiss on his cheek and he pulled her into a hug, embracing her tightly.

They stood like that for a few minutes. He really didn't want to let go of her, she smelled like the party but it didn't bother him, he probably smelled the same way too. All Nick wanted was to hold her. It felt right.

Amanda was the first to pull away "we better catch some sleep" she said and moved the blanket away "take your pants off and get in" she ordered, doing exactly the same.

Nick did as he was told and climbed into the bed. As she mentioned earlier it wasn't very comfortable, the mattress was a bit lumpy but when Amanda joined him, resting her head on his chest it suddenly didn't matter.

"Good night Amanda" he whispered.

"Night"

He felt her body relax against his and tightened his grip around her. It felt like a dream again and Nick was pretty sure he was still awake. He was with Amanda, after thinking about her for so many months. She was in his arms.

He fell asleep with a smile.

* * *

Nick was woken up by whispers. He kept his eyes shut and listened to the voices.

"I said I was sorry Amanda" Alice apologized "I didn't mean to get drunk and talk about babies, I'm sure he doesn't care"

"How comes every time you drink too much you talk about them? Does Ben know?" she wasn't angry, but the baby talk made her feel too self conscious around Nick last night.

"He does" Alice replied with a smile "you're gonna be the godmother?"

Amanda shook her head and glanced at Nick, she thought he was still asleep.

"You want me to go?" Alice's smile widened, she knew damn well she wasn't welcomed at the moment "maybe I have to be at an early class…"

"Why would I want that?" Amanda tried to act innocent, but she wasn't fooling her friend.

"I'm gonna go take a shower and brush my teeth, you should do the same" she winked "Nick and Amanda sitting on a tree doing much more than K-I-S-S-I-N-G"

Amanda rolled her eyes and wanted to throw a pillow on her, but she didn't want to wake Nick up so she gave up on the idea.

"Come on" Alice grabbed her things "I'll take a quick shower and be out of your hair"

Amanda followed her to the bathroom, leaving Nick alone in the room. He sat up slowly, rubbing his eyes a bit. He brought a small bag with him and thought he should at least brush his teeth, he wasn't about to kiss her with nasty morning breath. Nick got dressed and was able to find the men's bathroom easily.

* * *

"Where'd you disappear to?" Amanda opened the door for him. She expected him to still be in bed when she got back and was surprised to find an empty room.

Nick walked inside and she closed the door behind him. He decided not to answer and grabbed her shoulders firmly, pulling her into a kiss. She liked the way he held her, a bit rougher but in no way painful or discomforting.

"I like the way you think" she mumbled and took off her shirt.

"I have a great mind" he let his fingers move up and down her bare waist.

"Mmmm" she enjoyed his touch and reached for his shirt, wanting to see and feel his body. She still remembered how he came out of the water, all wet. Crap, she wasn't sure whether she should focus or lose control. She just wanted him so bad. Amanda helped him take his shirt off and smiled seeing that he was still as masculine and sexy as he was that night, maybe even more.

Amanda kissed his collarbone, placing a few tender pecks. She moved to his neck, nibbling on a spot that made him mutter her name with pure desire.

Nick reached her pants, quickly unzipping them and letting his hand put some pressure on her through the fabric of her underwear. The sensation forced Amanda to stop and lean against him.

Nick didn't let go, his fingers caressed her, staying over the cotton. He could feel her hitched breath and saw that her eyes were closed. She had to hold on to him when he rubbed her even harder.

Nick let go without a warning and she gave him a disapproving look "you done already?" she sounded angry.

"Haven't even started" he hissed and gently pushed her on to the bed and got on top of her.

"Good" she captured his mouth and kissed him for a few seconds. It was hardly her first time, but unlike what some people thought about her, she didn't jump into bed with anyone. She didn't even have so much experience in the field. She enjoyed sex, but that didn't mean she spent every night with a different guy, far from it.

Nick looked up at her and caressed her cheek, she looked so beautiful lying underneath him. He felt so close to her, not just physically, he was touching her, but like there was something more, something he couldn't grasp, something he'd never experienced before.

She felt him staring and opened her eyes to make sure everything was alright, she could feel his erection through his pants, that was a good sign.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"You're perfect" he muttered, seeing the look in her eyes Nick knew his confession caught her off guard so he kissed her again, preventing her to disagree with his remark.

Nick's hands moved to her back, unclasping her bra. She helped him remove it and he moved from her lips to her neck. He felt like there was no way he'd get enough of her, and once his mouth moved to taste another area he already missed the previous one. Nick continued the journey down her body. After tasting her neck he quickly moved to her breasts. He loved the gasp she let out when he used his teeth on her right nipple, and repeated the motion just so he could hear that sound again. Nick felt her hands in his hair. She was tugging not too gently but bold spots on his scalp were hardly the first thing on his mind.

Amanda wouldn't mind lying there, letting him do whatever he wanted. He seemed to know what he was doing and it seemed like he was focused on her, successfully making her feel things she had no words to describe. His lips traveled down her stomach and Amanda called his name. She realized that the sensations running through her body were only going to intensify and a part of her just needed to feel him inside of her while another wanted his lips to touch every inch of her.

Nick was pleased with himself, the way she reacted to his movements was driving him a bit crazy, wanting to elicit more of those breathless gasps, hear his name coming out of her lips again. What the hell was going on with him?

Nick needed to feel her lips again and Amanda didn't protest, she opened her eyes and he got a glimpse of that pure color before he met her lips. The kissed with so much passion, almost ready to devour each other. Amanda's hands reached lower, squeezing his butt cheeks and then moving to his zipper. Nick could feel some desperation in her touch, she fumbled with the button so he decided to help her out, needing to remove his pants. He pulled away, wanting to take them off when they heard something.

It took Nick and Amanda a couple of seconds to be withdrawn from the almost delirious state they were in and realize someone was banging at the door. They exchanged a look, wondering who that could be. The mystery was solved fast enough, when Alice walked into the room, her eyes closed.

"I can't see a thing, I'm so sorry" she sounded genuine and Nick quickly covered the two of them with the blanket.

"What the hell?" Amanda was pissed.

Alice slowly opened her eyes, but decided to turn away even though the couple was covered up "I'm sorry" she repeated "but I think it's an emergency"

Nick looked concerned while Amanda stayed angry.

"It couldn't wait?" she asked.

"No" Alice finally turned around "your phone's off and…" she hesitated but her friend's expression got even more hostile and there was no use delaying the message she had for Amanda "she couldn't reach you, so your mom called me, it's about Kim"


	5. Chapter 5

Alice walked out of the room so Nick could get dressed and join her while Amanda called her mother.

"Sorry" Alice mouthed once the door was shut.

"What's that about?" he asked but Alice shrugged.

"You're gonna have to ask Amanda" she looked at the door and Nick could tell she was worried. Alice mentioned it was her mother who called about Kim. Who was that? A family member, a sister maybe?

Amanda opened the door, she was fully dressed "I'm sorry" she said to him "I have to go"

"You gonna drive over there?" Alice asked and Nick wondered where she was going and why.

"I have to" she grabbed a bag and put her wallet there "you've seen my keys?"

They were on Amanda's desk and Alice handed them to her.

"I'm sorry Nick" she repeated "I don't know when I'll be back and…"

He wasn't sure what to say, he didn't mind waiting, she was clearly upset. They had to talk, he didn't come here to sleep with her and leave, not that he got to do that.

They followed Amanda down the stairs and out of the building. She was heading to the parking lot. Nick just walked after her, not sure what he should say or do. She wasn't talking and he wanted to know so he could maybe help her.

They reached to what Nick figured was her car. It was so old it didn't belong on the road. Nick looked at Alice, hoping for a sign, maybe she would just tell him what the right thing to do was.

"Call me, ok?" she ignored Nick and looked at Amanda who was about to start the car.

The engine made a bizarre sound, something Nick had never heard before. She tried again but it didn't work. Amanda refused to give up and hearing the symphony of a total loss, Nick felt bad for her. She finally walked out of the vehicle and looked at it with so much rage Nick thought she might burn it down.

"You stupid piece of shit" Amanda kicked it a few times, blessing the car with a few other nicknames.

"Amanda…" Alice tried but she ignored her.

"I have a rental" Nick finally said something and the girls looked at him as if they didn't even realize he'd been there all along "I can drive you wherever"

"Can't you give it to her for now?" Alice asked, knowing Amanda wouldn't want him to go with her.

"It's an insurance thing I think, I can't let anyone else drive it" he wanted to help more.

"I'll take the bus" Amanda took the bag out of the car, kicking it again.

"Wait" Alice pulled her aside "let him take you, it's gonna take way too long if you take the bus…"

Amanda looked hesitant, it was nice of Nick to offer, but she didn't really know him. They couldn't even sleep together. But going back home with her, that would be way too much.

"I don't think you have another choice" Alice looked at her.

Amanda raised her eyes at Nick, he was staring at something, giving them time to talk. Amanda realized Alice was right, taking a bus would take way too long and no way her car would magically work.

Amanda nodded at Alice and walked over to Nick who gave her a soft smile "can you give me a ride?"

"Yes. Where to?"

"Loganville"

* * *

Amanda gave him directions but apart from that she remained silent.

"Hey" he looked at her "you never told me about your job"

"Ha?" Amanda was confused.

"You told me you had a crappy job" he reminded her. He decided not to ask about her mother and Kim, maybe she'd tell him, after all, they were on the way to see them.

"Oh, that. It's just a waitressing gig" she replied and looked out of the window "take the next exit"

"I hope the food's not bad" Nick wanted her to talk to him, she looked so distracted.

"It's crap" she chuckled "but the shifts are fine"

"And you're in the track team" he noted, keeping the conversation alive.

"Yeah, used to run in high school and got a scholarship…" she shrugged.

"Then you must be good"

"I'm ok" she raised one shoulder "won't compete in the Olympic games"

"It could come in handy when you're chasing a perp" he glanced at her "when you join the police or the FBI or whatever it is you want to do…and after you gave me grief about being a policeman"

"Gave you grief?" she smiled and he was happy to see it.

"Ok, I went a bit too far there"

"You're the one who made a big deal about the beer"

"A big deal?" it was his turn to protest "I did not make a big deal"

"Fine. Let's start over" she said.

"How over? Like, my name's Nick Amaro" he realized it was the first time he mentioned his last name "nice to meet you"

"Amanda Rollins"

"It's very nice to meet you, Amanda Rollins" he smiled.

"It's not too far" Amanda said after a couple of silent minutes. She wasn't sure what to talk to him about. They barely knew each other, barely being an understatement, and here they were, of the way to her childhood home.

"It's ok, I don't mind driving"

"Well thank you, it's really nice of you" she smiled.

"Told you I was a nice guy"

"Yeah? How can I be sure you're not a serial killer?"

"I promise not to kill you, ok?" he glanced at her again.

"Maybe I'm not your type" she countered.

"I promise not to kill anyone, how about that?"

"I'm convinced" she nodded.

Nick chuckled "you're gonna make a great cop"

"With this kind of interrogation skills…" Amanda pulled her hair up in a ponytail.  
"Who's Kim, your sister?" he wasn't going to wait anymore. It's not like he was unfamiliar with complicated families, he had one of his own.

"Yes" she replied, not giving any details.

"What's going on with her?" He didn't let it go, she probably wasn't going to give him any info unless he asked.

"Nothing" she lied and offered nothing more, staring out of the window as if she was interested in the view.

Nick debated with himself whether he should ask more or let her be. He was both curious and worried. Alice said it was an emergency, was she sick? Nick decided to leave it for now, he'd find out when they get there.

He saw the sign welcoming them to Loganville and kept on driving. He waited for Amanda to give him directions. She seemed even quieter now, and he called her name.

"Shit" she jumped, realizing they were about to drive the wrong way "turn left here"

"Ok" he took the turn and she wasn't distracted anymore, telling him where to go on time.

They reached a quiet street with small houses and she told him to stop.

"Where's your house?" he parked the car. It seemed like there was no one anywhere.

"It's a few houses over" she was about to step out when he stopped her.

"Really?" he gave her a questioning look "I'll drive you over there" he turned the engine back on and drove to the right house, parking on the opposite side of the road. It was probably serious so she didn't want him to witness whatever it was, the police car parked by the house didn't ease the worry.

"Stay here" she ordered.

"Amanda" he caressed her hand before she could go "what's going on?"

"Nothing, stay here" she left him in the vehicle and Nick watched as she walked to the other car, tapping on the window.

* * *

The officer got out of the car and gave Amanda a quick hug "how's it going?" he asked her.

"How are you Oli?" she didn't answer.

"Not too bad" he looked at the house "wish I could say the same about your sister"

"What now?" Amanda looked at the ground.

"You can guess…"

"I'll go talk to her" Amanda didn't have to guess, she knew the answer. Kim was only sixteen, but unlike others in her age group she wasn't interested in boy bands, clothes or anything like that. She was hanging out with a bad crowd from a young age, and things only got worse. Lately Kim got into drugs.

"It's not something a conversation will help Amanda" the officer stopped her.

"I…"

"I'm going to arrest her, your mom said she'll call you so I waited here, as a favor to you" he said "but I don't have a choice"

"Come on Oliver, she's a kid"

"She's high, not pot high. I don't know what she took but…she was seen trying to get into a store by breaking the window"

Amanda chuckled "let me talk to her"

"You can talk to her, but then I have to do my job…"

She didn't say anything and walked to the house.

Amanda knew Oliver for years, since she was six years old. They met when he arrested her father, Robert, or Bob, as most people called him. Both men were pretty much the same age then. He was driving over the speed limit, excited about a win. Amanda was sitting in the back sit, happy because her father was. He made all sorts of promises about how they will take a vacation, go to Disneyworld, Seaworld, wherever she wanted.

He started cursing when he noticed the lights but pulled over.

"Be quiet Mandy" he looked at her.

"Ok daddy" she leaned back and looked through the window as a man wearing uniform walked over to them and started talking to her father. Amanda didn't really understand everything. Her dad said she was sick but she felt fine, she was happy because she was going to Disneyworld and Seaworld soon.

"How are you doing kid?" the officer asked and Amanda looked at her father "My name's Oliver, but you can call me Oli, what's your name?"

Amanda's father nodded so she answered quietly "Mandy"

"Mandy?" he asked and she nodded "that's a pretty name, is it a short for Amanda?"

"Yes" her voice was higher now.

"What happened to your seatbelt Mandy?" the officer asked and glanced at Robert.

Amanda shrugged, a few hours ago she was told to get in the car, spent a long time with her daddy while he played a game, telling her she could only watch. Now they were driving back home.

"She has a stomach ache, so I unbuckled her…you know how it is with kids, they cry and there's no saying no" Robert tried to joke.

"Your tummy hurts?" Oliver looked at her.

Her tummy was fine, she acted like a good girl the whole day, not bothering her parents when they were arguing, helping Kim put her clothes on, playing with her. She was very quiet when her dad was playing, he told her not to make a sound and even when he won and everyone around cheered, Amanda clapped without making any noise. She didn't cry once.

But Robert was giving her a stern look, and between him and Oli, who was very nice, she had no idea what to do.

Amanda ended up nodding awkwardly. The gesture didn't satisfy the officer and he brought them both in.

She had to wait for her mother and spent the time with Oli, they painted together and she told him she has a sister, but no dog. She really wanted a doggy.

"I have a dog" he took a crayon and drew a smiley face "his name's Rocco"

"Really?" Amanda's eye widened with excitement "can I play with him?"

"I don't know…what are drawing?" he looked at the paper, it had small rectangles with red shapes in them.

"Daddy's game" she raised her eyes at him "what are you drawing?" he only had colorful lines and the face on his paper.

"I don't know yet, what do you think I should draw?"

"Rocco!" she smiled.

"Good idea" he took a different crayon and looked as she continued with the shapes "what's the game?"

"You take a card and then another card and then another" she explained, not too sure of the rules "when you win people cheer, it's fun to win"

"I guess, does your daddy win a lot?" he realized the kind of game she was talking about, this was in no way appropriate to take a child there.

"Sometimes" she shrugged.

"And what happens when he doesn't win, when the people don't cheer?" the man didn't seem to care too much about his daughter, what if he physically hurt her?

"He says stuff"

"Like what?"

Amanda put down the crayon and looked at Oliver "like…eh…fuck this shit"

She pronounced the words so effortlessly, so casually it caught him off guard "so he says bad words then?"

"Why are they bad?" she asked.

"These words mean bad thing, so it's not nice to say them"

"But my daddy is nice!" she insisted "finished" she gave him the drawing. It was full with cards and Oliver felt bad for the little girl.

"And here's Rocco" he handed her his drawing "he looks better in real life"

Amanda giggled and thanked him "when can I go home?"

Oliver called social services but they told him to release the girl to her mother. It took her a few hours to show up. Oliver's shift was over but he didn't want to leave Amanda and bought her some food and a drink.

When Amanda's mother finally showed up she made a scene at the station and the sergeant in charge just wanted to get rid of her so Oliver said goodbye.

Somehow Robert was able to get the charges dropped and there were no consequence to that night. Oliver took Rocco for walks by the Rollins residence, wanting to make sure Amanda and her sister were alright. Amanda was thrilled to meet the dog, her parents were not happy about it all. They threatened to complain but he was always outside and in plain sight so they wouldn't have a case, he really wanted the best for the girl.

There wasn't a lot Oliver could do, Robert was more careful, which was a good outcome, but it was clear he was only doing it when Oliver was around.

When Amanda was almost nine he left. By then Oliver was about to start his own family and had less time to make sure Amanda was safe. He was at the house way too many times after getting calls from neighbors about loud noises and maybe even violence from one of Amanda's mother boyfriends. But the woman denied everything, complained that the neighbors were nosy and exaggerated about everything. He couldn't do anything.

* * *

"Kim!" Amanda called the second the door was shut.

"Amandaaa!" Kim ran towards the door. There was no doubt something was going on, she had a huge wacky smile and she was now dancing towards her sister "Amandaaaaaa" she hugged her, giggling "home from college"

"What is wrong with you?" Amanda pushed her away "what are you on?"

Kim twirled, she looked like a typical teenager, her hair was very long and she was wearing a dress that was a bit too short, but that was the least of her problems.

"I'm perfect, don't you think so?" she frowned and started laughing "that's not how a sister should behave"

"Oli said you tried to break into a store"

"You should be friends with people your own age Amandy" she whispered "people will talk"

"What is wrong with you? Who gave you the drugs?"

"Whatdrugsareyoutalkingabout?Mom!" Kim shrugged "mom!"

The older woman walked down the stairs "Amanda" she greeted her older daughter.

"Mom, what's going on?"

"Why won't you answer your phone? Why am I supposed to look for you?" she asked and gave Amanda a quick hug.

"Why is she high? Aren't you looking after her?" it wasn't the first time Kim took something, but when Amanda moved to college her mother promised to make sure Kim would be fine.

"I can't be with her twenty four hours a day Amanda, you're away, I have the house to take care of, I have me, it's not like someone takes care of me" she shook her head.

Valerie always put herself first, Amanda wasn't sure if her daughters or husband came in second.

"Look at her mom, what the hell?" Kim was sitting on the couch, trying to look innocent, but she was failing, having a hard time not to giggle.

"I called you, didn't I? You were always better handling your sister"

"Cause you never cared enough" Amanda muttered to herself, this wasn't the time for that argument.

"Look Mandy" Valerie turned to her "just ask Oliver to look the other way, god knows he'll do whatever you ask of him" Amanda didn't like what she was implying, Oliver was nothing but good to her, never asked for anything.

"He says he's going to arrest her"

"Arrest?" Kim jumped off the couch "I'll die in prison! He can't do that to me, please Amanda, please! I can't go there, I will die"

"You'll die if you won't stop with the drugs"

"Please" she grabbed her shirt, pulling hard "you're my sister, you can't let him do that to me!"

"Enough Kim" Amanda freed herself from Kim's grasp "there's nothing I can do, Oli will make sure you're safe and I'm sure they will let you out soon if you agree to get help, but there's nothing we can do"

"No!" Kim shouted "you're such a bitch Amanda, leaving me here while you do god knows what in Atlanta, I hate it here! Hate it here" she kept on yelling.

"I promise to help you out, I won't let them…" Amanda tried to calm her down.

"No, you never cared about me Amanda!" she pushed Amanda and rushed to the door, running out of the house.

"That girl…" Valerie turned away "let her go, she'll be back"

Amanda wasn't going to listen to her mother. She ran after Kim and noticed Oliver was out of the vehicle, running after the girl.

"Kim!" Amanda shouted and ran to her direction. Amada was able to outrun her but Kim caught her off guard and tripped her.

* * *

Nick watched the short conversation between Amanda and the officer and saw her stepping into the house. He had so many questions. He could tell the house was uncared for and figured whoever lived there got the same treatment.

A part of him wanted to go talk to the policeman, question him about Amanda, but that would be very inappropriate and she would be very angry with him. So he sat there, just watching and waiting. Until the front door opened and a young girl ran out of it. She was a teen and looked like Amanda which meant this was Kim. The officer tried to catch her but he was older and seemed to be tired. He saw Amanda running after the girl, she almost caught her when Kim tripped her, causing the older sister to fall on the ground.

Nick wasn't about to sit and watch this scene, he didn't care about being scolded later. He stepped out of the car and joined the chase. It wasn't difficult for him to catch the girl.

"Stop" he said when he was close to her. Kim didn't know him and the confusion caused her to slow down. Nick grabbed her hand firmly.

"Help!" she shouted.

"Shut up" Amanda reached them and once she held on to Kim's hand Nick let go. Amanda glanced at him with a very unclear expression.

"Don't let him arrest me" Kim tried to sound miserable and force tears to go down her cheeks, it was only half working.

"I'm sorry" Amanda said quietly and hugged Kim.

"Who are you?" Oliver asked, taking out his handcuffs.

"He's a friend from school, gave me a ride cause my car broke down" Amanda quickly explained.

"Kim Rollins" Oliver turned to her "you are under arrest…"

Nick thought that Amanda looked sadder than Kim, it seemed like she was about to grab her and ran away somewhere, but she didn't move.

"You want a ride to the station?" Oliver asked, not sure if she'd ask this friend of hers, he wasn't looking at her like he was just a friend.

"Yeah, but just a sec, ok?" Oliver nodded and dragged Kim to the car.

"Thanks for the ride Nick, I really appreciate it" she looked at him "but you should go back now"

"I'll wait for you, I have time" he offered but she shook her head.

"Listen" she started "go back, it's gonna take a long time, go back to…New York"

Nick was surprised by this, why would she ask him to go back home? "I really don't mind waiting Amanda" he ignored the mentioning of New York.

"I'm gonna take the bus to school, just…go…I'm sorry, I…I have a lot to deal with" she didn't wait for him to say anything and walked to Oliver's car, asking him to give her another minute.

"Mom?" Amanda walked back into the house "I'm going to the station with Oliver and Kim, come on"

"You know" Valerie was dressed in a different outfit "you're better than me when it comes to this things, you go and it's gonna be fine, I have somewhere to be"

"Mom…" Amanda tried again but there was no use, she probably had a date or something, her daughter didn't matter, neither one.

"Fine mom" Amanda said "bye"

Nick watched as Amanda walked out of the door and sat inside the car. A moment later they were off. What was he supposed to do? Leave? That's what she asked him to do. But this was clearly a messy situation, maybe she thought he didn't care. But Nick did care, and even though this wasn't how he planned to spend the day - she needed support. Her mother didn't seem to go with them, what was up with that?

Nick would love to be the support she needed, he liked her. He had to get rid of those nagging thoughts about distance again, this time it was harder. Amanda mentioned New York, which meant it was in the back of her mind. She was thinking about the fact they lived far from each other. And now she asked him to leave, without even talking about it with him. It was clear she was stressed about her sister, maybe she thought this was what he wanted to hear?

Was he supposed to stay or go?


	6. Chapter 6

_Another story I thought I won't finish. But it pulled me back and here's another chapter, I decided to take it to a different place than the initial plan. I'm trying to keep them in character but write a completely different story, it's an AU after all._

 _To those of you wondering about Nick – don't worry, he has a baggage of his own (you'll find out in the following chapters)._

 _Warning, I almost cried at the end of this chapter, a lot of drama (and there will be a lot of drama ahead so if you like that, stick around)_

* * *

Nick got back into the car, his hands were on the wheel and he was thinking about the drive back to Atlanta. But he couldn't force himself to turn the engine on. He couldn't drive away, leave things like that. If he goes now, this is over. Whatever this is, whatever he's feeling, it's all gonna be thrown away.

He wasn't ready for that.

Nick finally started the car, but he did not drive to Atlanta, he drove away and asked a pedestrian for directions to the police station.

Once he parked the car Nick waited, he wasn't sure how long it would take for her to walk out of it, he doubted he missed her. She'd probably want to be there while her sister's being processed.

There was a growl in his stomach and he realized it's been a while since he last ate. Luckily there was a place nearby, somewhere he could go without losing eye contact. He had to wait for her. Since he had spent the night with her Nick knew she had no food as well, so he made sure to get something for her too.

He realized now why Amanda was in such a hurry to get to Loganville, there were still a lot of unanswered questions for him, but he could see the big picture. Amanda's younger sister was troubled, her mother was no help and Amanda had to take care of them.

Nick felt bad for her, he had a feeling she'd hate it if he ever said that to her, but he felt sorry she had to go through it. He was no stranger to complicated family matters. Maybe that's why he wanted to help her, because he knew how it felt to be in a similar situation. But that wasn't the reason he liked her.

The truth was, Nick wasn't exactly sure of his feelings. Did he _like_ her? He liked, even loved women before. But he was always certain of those feelings. When he told his last girlfriend that he loved her, he really meant it. He knew he loved her.

But now he couldn't say. Now he was everything but certain.

Nick could almost see her in front of his eyes, the way she looked the first time he saw her. He was drawn to her for some reason. Even now, something was almost pulling him to her.

It's not like he couldn't find a date in New York, but ever since the night they spent together, it was like he didn't want to.

Nick kept his eyes on the front entrance of the station. He figured it's been about an hour and there was still no sign of her. Maybe she decided to stay there for the rest of the day? Maybe the officer, who seemed to know her, and she seemed to like him, was talking to her, keeping her company.

But the doors opened and Amanda emerged. She looked disturbed, didn't even try to hide it and Nick hurried to start the car and drive to her.

"Amanda" he called when he pulled over next to her. The sound of her name caused Amanda to flinch.

"What are you doing here?" she gave him an empty look.

"I…" what was a good answer? "I'll drive you home"

Amanda was hesitant, looked to the left and to the right, making Nick think she was going to decline and cross the street, get away.

But Amanda opened the car's door and sat down, putting the seatbelt on.

"What are you still doing here?" she asked again.

"I had to make sure you're…" Nick was unsure of the right word, how could she be alright, or ok?

"Well, I'm fine..." she didn't add anything and Nick drove off.

Nick didn't have a problem finding the right house and this time he parked right in front of it.

"I have something for you" he handed her the food he bought earlier "you haven't eaten yet"

Amanda looked at him, she wasn't smiling but Nick thought he saw a flicker of joy. Maybe it was just his wishful thinking, but it seemed like Amanda appreciated the gesture.

"I thought you could use a friend" he said.

"So you are my friend then?" her tone was flat and he wasn't sure if this was an insult, a joke or a genuine question.

"I'm not your enemy" he answered, this time she gave him a tiny smile, or something that resembled one.

"It was nice of you to buy me food, thanks" she looked inside the bag "I even like this"

"I wasn't sure" he smiled "it's not Chinese…"

This finally put a real smile on her face "there aren't too many good places for that here, so you made the right choice"

Nick hoped that she wasn't talking just about the food, he hoped the right choice was staying.

Amanda took the sandwich out of the bag and ate it in the car, Nick realized this was a sign he wasn't getting an invitation inside. He had to admit he was curious, wanted to know how it looked like. But at least she stayed with him.

Amanda finished eating pretty fast and held on the now empty bag "I'm gonna throw this later" she said and Nick shrugged, he didn't like clutter, but this wasn't bothering him.

"Want me to show you something?" she suddenly said and Nick nodded, trying to contain his excitement "then maybe you better start the car"

She gave him directions and soon they arrived to a construction site. There was nobody there but them and Nick asked himself if it was safe.

"Don't worry" she could almost read his mind "there's no one here and I'm not going to climb anywhere"

Nick followed Amanda, she walked between the scaffolds and sat down on the sand, facing the site. Nick sat next to her and she smiled at him.

"Can I be honest?" she asked.

"Of course" he nodded.

"You're kinda weird" she looked serious and Nick was puzzled by this "you came all the way from New York to Atlanta so you could sleep with me and now you're in Loganville, I bet this was not your plan"

"You think I came here just so I could sleep with you?" he was being serious too.

"The women in New York must be terrible, or maybe you already slept with all of them" she shrugged and Nick had to laugh at that idea.

"I don't know who you think I am" he took a deep breath to relax "but that is not the case"

"Which one?" her tone was teasing and Nick liked that.

"I'm really not here because I wanted to sleep with you" he was serious again.

"Good, cause I'm not that good" she looked away, feeling a little embarrassed for saying that.

"You wouldn't do that? Fly to New York to sleep with me?" he decided to tease her back.

"What do you want me to say?"

Nick shook his head in response, he was just kidding.

"I'm here cause I like you" again, Nick wasn't sure _like_ was the right word, but it would have to do right now.

"I used to play here when I was a kid" Amanda spoke after a few minutes of silence "a few months ago I drove by and saw all this" she looked around the site "felt kinda strange"

"I get that" he nodded "it's strange when things change"

She was looking straight ahead and Nick raised his hand and softly caressed her cheek, this felt right to him, he had no idea how to react, what to say.

Amanda didn't seem to be bothered by the touch, she didn't move, didn't flinch. But her eyes were still focused on some distant spot.

Nick moved his hand and she rested her head on his shoulder

"I think we should drive back soon, is that ok?" she asked quietly.

"Sure" he caressed her back "just say when"

"When" she whispered.

* * *

Amanda wanted to grab something from the house and Nick had no problem making a stop there.

"Amanda" he said before she left the car "mind if I use the bathroom?"

She chuckled and nodded "not gonna make your bladder suffer"

"Thanks" a part of him was afraid she'd say no and he was grateful she didn't.

Amanda let him in and he tried to act like he wasn't inspecting the room. She gestured at the bathroom and he walked over there. He noted the place was pretty clean, but there was a bizarre atmosphere, it didn't feel like a home.

"Let's go" she was waiting for him by the door, looking like she couldn't leave soon enough.

* * *

Nick decided not to ask anything about Amanda's sister. He wanted to know the whole story, but she clearly wasn't interested in talking about the subject.

"When do you have to go back to work?" she asked, they left Loganville and were on their way to Atlanta.

"My flight's tomorrow, at six pm" it felt so soon, too soon.

Amanda nodded and looked out of the window. She wasn't sure what to think or feel. A part of her wanted to hold on to him and not let go. She didn't like feeling this way, this need, she refused to even acknowledge that it was a need, she never needed anyone.

Nick was going to leave, they will have fun, she wasn't denying the fact she was attracted to him, he was handsome, he was nice, he was warm, he was caring ,he was…

It wasn't important, he was going to leave.

"Amanda?" his voice pulled her away from her thoughts and she turned to him.

"Yeah?"

"I asked if there was anything you'd like us to do in the city" he repeated the question.

"Not really" she shrugged "we could just continue what we started this morning"

Nick couldn't prevent his lips from curving into a smile and Amanda snickered.

"Let's pray no one's gonna interrupt us" he smiled.

"You know any prayers for that?" she gave him a questioning look.

"I doubt there are any" Nick chuckled again.

Her smile sent shivers through his entire body and Nick decided it would be best if he focused on the road. What he really wanted to do was pull over and then pull her into a mind blowing kiss, suck her tongue into his mouth, make her gasp, make her call his name. But the car wasn't the right place for that. He really hoped her roommate will stay away tonight.

Again, it felt like Amanda read his mind "Alice is sleeping over at Ben's tonight"

"Good to know" he tried not to sound too excited.

"Good indeed"

* * *

They decided to stop for dinner before going back to the dorms. The food Nick got for them in Loganville was good but it wasn't going to keep the hunger away for much longer.

"Mind if we skip the Chinese this time?" Amanda asked "I feel like Italian"

"No problem, I love Italian food"

"So you're not picky then?" she gave him another grin and Nick smiled too.

"I'm pretty easy when it comes to food. If you feel like…I don't know, I can't think of anything too exotic right now, but I'm fine with that too"

"The pizza will not be exotic" she apologized "but it's not bad"

"I don't think you can ruin a pizza"

"Trust me, there are a lot of ways to do that" it seemed like she had experience in the field of ruined pizzas and Nick decided to ask about it when they'd eat.

She told him where to drive to and he parked the car on a small street.

"It's not far" she said when they were out of the car and he walked next to her to the restaurant.

Nick expected it to be a small place, like a secret only locals knew about, so he was surprised when they walked into a big restaurant. He saw a lot of families there, they were having dinner and being pretty noisy. One kid was crying and his mother tried to calm him down. No one seemed to be bothered by it, or by the kids who were running around, laughing, shouting.

"The two of you?" A hostess greeted them with a big smile and Amanda nodded "come on" she lead them to a table and gave each of them a menu.

"You have any recommendations?" he looked at the items on it.

"Just the regular one" she shrugged "extra cheese, that's my order"

"So do you want me to order something else? We can share" he offered and Amanda smiled slightly.

"You should order whatever you want Nick"

He took another look at the menu and when the waitress came by he ordered the plain pizza with extra cheese.

The waitress came back a few minutes later with two glasses of water and let them know the food will be ready soon.

"So…" Nick was about to say when he felt someone staring at him, he turned to see a boy and a girl, looking maybe four years old, they were focused on him and Amanda.

"I want this" the little girl pointed on the vase that was on the table, there was a flower in it.

Nick exchanged a look with Amanda and took the flower, handing it to the girl.

"There you go" he said.

"Thank you" she giggled "it's mine" she said to the boy and he looked upset.

"I want it!" he shouted.

"I'm so sorry!" a woman, probably their mother, rushed to the kids and took the flower from the girl "sorry" she placed it on the table next to Nick and pulled her children away.

"This is for you" Nick gave Amanda the flower.

"A used flower" Amanda rolled her eyes "and one you stole from this place…not something I'd expect from a cop"

Amanda placed the flower back in the vase and when she let go of it Nick caught her hand in his.

It was a reflex, he wasn't thinking, wasn't planning ahead. The only word he could think of was magical. Because in the midst of the noise, of everyone walking and running around them, he felt like it was just the two of them in the room.

Amanda was staring at him, she had no idea how to react to the gesture. His touch felt so good, she could almost ask him to keep his hand on hers.

But the food came and he let her go so the waitress could put it down.

"Enjoy" she smiled and left them alone.

"I love how cheesy it is" she said with her mouth full.

"I can tell" Nick chuckled and smiled at her.

"Sometimes you just can't beat simplicity. You don't need anything but melted cheese" she took another bite.

"It is good" he agreed with her.

Amanda was done with her food first and Nick offered her his last slice, which she accepted because for some reason she was very hungry.

"I'm paying" she grabbed the check the moment it was placed on the table.

"I…" Nick wanted to protest but Amanda gave him a stern look and he decided not to argue. He could buy breakfast.

"Let's head back" Amanda stood up and it was another thing he had no plans to debate about.

They walked back to the car and before he had a chance to get in Amanda pushed him against it and pulled him down for a kiss.

Amanda could taste the cheese but she didn't care, she's been wanting to kiss him for a while. Wanted to feel his hands on her, wanted to touch him. Amanda wanted something else too, but she had no idea what it was, maybe she was just horny and once they sleep together this bizarre feeling will disappear.

Nick's hands were on the small of her back and even though she was wearing a shirt it felt like they were on her skin. She felt like he was somewhere deeper, as if it wasn't just a kiss.

But they were kissing, what else could it be?

Amanda pulled away, feeling excited and confused at the same time.

"Let's go" she smiled at him and sat down.

The only words exchanged during the drive to the dorms were her directions, turn here, turn there. Neither was sure what else to say, like that kiss took them to a different place.

Nick tried not to glance at her, he wasn't sure he'd stop himself if he looked at her, if she'd look at him.

He craved for her. There was no better way to describe it, he craved for her and had no idea why and it almost didn't matter.

* * *

Nick parked the car and they walked outside, the place seemed almost deserted. Nick didn't waste time and grabbed her hand, entwining his fingers with hers.

"Let's go to my room" Amanda looked into his eyes, her heart skipped a beat.

Nick was about to lean in and kiss those gorgeous lips of hers when someone called her name.

"Hey Amanda" they both turned to see Carl Patton walking towards them. He wasn't alone.

"Go away" Amanda said, letting go of Nick's hand.

"Why? You two want to be alone?" he tilted his head a bit, as if he didn't know the answer.

"You heard her" Nick took a step forward and turned to Amanda "let's go"

"You know buddy" Patton walked towards them and his two friends were right behind him, as if they were bodyguards "I don't know you, but I do know miss Amanda here" his smile made Nick sick "and I get it, I know that you want her"

"Let's go Amanda" Nick touched her shoulder, wanting them to walk upstairs and get away from that creep.

"I'm totally for this hook up" Carl kept on talking as they turned from him "why shouldn't you have a piece of that ass? Hell, you know you're not the only one, and the things I've heard…"

Nick tried not to say anything, he tried to act deaf. But this guy was saying things about Amanda and he couldn't ignore it anymore.

"You piece of shit" Nick turned to Patton and his friends rushed to his side.

"Whatever your name is" Patton remained completely calm "I just came here to wish you a good fuck, cause that's my Amanda, she has one hell of a pus…"

Every bit of control has left Nick's body and his fist met Patton's face. But the bodyguards were not gonna let that go on and one of them caught Nick while the other punched and kicked him in the gut.

The pain spread from his stomach to his entire body, and he felt light headed.

"Let him go" Amanda held something in her hand and hit the guy who kicked him.

"Fucking bitch" he touched the back of his head "I'm bleeding"

"You're gonna bleed from a lot of other places if you don't get the hell out of here" she warned and Nick could see it was some kind of a pipe.

"How romantic" Patton laughed "this just proves you're worth it baby. Have fun you two, and keep it tight for me" he blew her a kiss and walked away, followed by his friends.

Nick wanted to run after them, wanted to do something, to stop them. But he saw the look on Amanda's face and knew he couldn't leave her alone.

"Amanda" he walked over to her "you have to file a complaint, I'll go with you, this guy…" he shook his head.

"I can't Nick" she said quietly, dropping the pipe on the ground "I can't"

"What do you mean you can't? He's…" what was he supposed to say? This guy was telling her he'd have her, one way or another, if she wanted it or if she didn't.

"I can't file a complaint against him" Amanda looked away "if I do, I'm gonna be the one paying for it. I told you he has a relative at the APD, I will end up getting in trouble, they will find a way. You think it's the first time he's done something like this? I can't do that" she was getting teary eyed and seemed anxious.

"You can't be serious!" he raised his voice a little, feeling guilty for it and whispering his next words "he can't get away with it, no matter who he knows…it's wrong and you shouldn't pay for that"

"I can take care of myself" she said.

"Can you?" he looked at the direction the three men walked to "if they all…" he couldn't even finish the sentence, the thought was too painful.

"You should just go Nick" she gave him a stern look "this was a mistake, you coming here. You wanted to sleep with me too, no? You're flying back to New York tomorrow. And I'm gonna take the fact you did all of this just to fuck me as a compliment, but you really shouldn't have"

"That's not true" Nick was insulted, he almost didn't care she was hurt by what he said, that she was disrupted by what just happened. This wasn't about sex for him.

"Well, then you have a problem because there's nothing here, ok? You don't need this mess" she was referring to herself "you need to go back to New York. If you want a fuck, then…I'm not in the mood"

"Come on!" why was she ignoring everything? He wasn't thinking about a thing when he yelled his next words "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Everything" she replied "I'll bring your bag down" she disappeared into the building, leaving Nick alone with his thoughts.

He tried to wrap his mind around what just happened. His abdomen still hurt, that guy's punch and kick were strong. But what Patton said, why was she reluctant to do anything? She told him he was untouchable, but no one is.

Maybe that's her problem? Maybe if she doesn't want his help then he shouldn't help her. If she still thinks he came here for sex maybe she doesn't care, maybe that's what she wanted, he thought she liked him – but he was apparently wrong.

She can have it her way.

Amanda was back a few minutes later, she didn't talk to him, just threw the bag on the ground and turned away.

Nick stayed planted for a moment, thinking she'd change her mind, say she was sorry. But he realized she wasn't going to do that so he grabbed the bag and stepped to the car, sitting in the driver's seat.

He could smell her inside, missed her presence. But Nick pushed the feeling away, Amanda didn't want help, she didn't want him. Maybe she was right, she was a mess and it was her job to clean it up.

He drove away, not looking back.

He was still feeling that ache from the kick, but now it was somehow in his heart.


	7. Chapter 7

"What's up with you Amaro?" his partner, Eric Olson, asked him "you didn't have fun on your little vacation?"

"It was alright" Nick kept his eyes on a report he's been writing.

After leaving Amanda's dorms Nick went straight to the airport, returned the car and tried to get an earlier flight. Many of were already full and he had to wait five hours for the next available one. This did not make it easy for Nick. He was so angry, he couldn't wait to get away from that city.

When, after a very long time, he was back in his own bed Nick felt something weird take over him, for a moment he thought he had internal damage from the kick, but it wasn't that. It was sadness. The tears filled his eyes and he couldn't control himself. He felt like something was lost.

"Just alright, ha?" the other man sat down and drank his coffee "where'd you even go?"

"Nowhere" Nick said "I didn't go anywhere"

"You're a little touchy today, ha? Maybe you should go out and have a drink to calm down"

A drink didn't sound half bad to Nick, finally the man who was supposed to be his mentor gave him a good advice.

"You know what" Nick was done with the report and it was time for him to go "I'm gonna do that" he grabbed his things and decided to go home and change first.

* * *

The bar wasn't packed so Nick was able to find a seat. He ordered a few drinks and tried not to think about a thing. He wanted to feel only the liquid going down his throat. He couldn't even hear the music, and it was loud.

"Hey" someone said but Nick figured they weren't talking to him and ignored the voice, until he heard it again "hello?"

"What?" Nick turned to see a woman in the seat next to him, she wasn't there a few minutes ago.

"Just said hey" she looked at him.

"Hey" Nick wasn't really in the mood for strangers.

"Can I buy you a drink?" She offered "or you can buy me one, I'm cool either way"

Nick looked at her again, he already had a few drinks.

She seemed to be his age, had short brown hair and dark eyes, the light was dim and he couldn't tell exactly.

"This is why you come to a bar alone" she kept on talking "to buy someone a drink or get it from someone"

"I'm here alone because I want to be alone" he hoped it would be enough for her to let him be.

"Well I'm here so I won't be alone" she ordered two beers from the bartender and gave one to Nick.

"What do you want?" he tried to sound as disinterested as possible.

"I came to talk to you because you seemed like a nice guy, I guess I was wrong"

"I'm sorry" he didn't want to be rude "I'm just not in the mood for talking"

"Who said I was?" the look in her eyes confused him "you're a not bad looking guy, and I, if I may say so myself, am a not bad looking gal…do the math"

"What exactly are we adding here?" he asked, thinking he was being amusing.

"What's your name?" she asked.

"Nick"

"I'm Amanda" she extended her hand and hearing that Nick gave her another look, as if this was the first time he noticed her.

"Nice to meet you, _Amanda_ " he shook her hand.

"I knew you were a nice guy" she smiled and drank a few gulps of the beer.

Nick didn't respond, he glanced at her again and grabbed the bottle she bought for him.

"So what do you say?" she asked, looking serious "about math?"

"You don't know me" he turned to her "and if I'm not wrong, you're offering me to have sex" she nodded "we barely even spoke"

"You're right, so should I go or not?" she waited for him to speak.

Nick wasn't sure what to say, he wasn't a stranger to one night stands, but usually he spent some time with the girl first. But why not? He was a bit drank, she was willing, and her name…

"Ok" he stood up "why not?"

The woman chuckled and shrugged "why not?"

Nick's place was close and he didn't mind taking her there. He had a tiny apartment, he couldn't afford much on his salary. Not that she cared. She didn't ask.

Nick had to admit he liked the not knowing, it made it simple. He knew one thing, her name was Amanda.

That was something he liked.

When she kissed him he knew he was kissing Amanda, when he helped her take her top off he knew he was undressing Amanda. He was glad to find out Amanda had condoms. He enjoyed being able to call her name.

Amanda, Amanda, Amanda.

Not that he felt proud about it, he knew he'd feel guilty later. But he was thrusting into her and he could say it.

Amanda.

Nick offered her to stay the night but she wasn't into it. He asked if she'd want to have a cup of coffee or he could buy her a beer. She shrugged, left her phone number on a piece of paper and left.

Nick felt like he needed a shower and as he was standing under the water he tried to remember what just happened, it's been half an hour more or less but he couldn't remember a thing except for her name. But he could still remember _his_ Amada's taste, how she felt like in Miami, how she felt like in Atlanta. When he closed his eyes Nick could see her, on that bed in the motel room, in her dorm room. She was so beautiful and he was completely mesmerized by her. He could sense her, feel her nipples in his mouth, her wetness on his hand.

Nick could feel himself getting hard and tried to think about something else. Forget it. He turned off the warm water and remained standing under a stream of coldness, coming from above and from inside.

* * *

"I hate these calls"

Nick already heard that line over a thousand times, he didn't bother counting. He spoke to a few buddies who were in the academy with him and they were pleased, they had mentors who actually took the time to teach them, to explain things.

"Don't you hate these calls Amaro?"

Nick shrugged, he didn't hate his job.

It was a domestic disturbance call, it was a little boy who was alone by the front door and the officers walked over to him.

Nick waited for Olson to talk.

"You ok kid? What happened?"

The boy didn't say anything and Olson rolled his eyes "great, my favorite, I'm gonna let dispatch know"

Nick walked to the boy and kneeled "hey" he smiled "I'm Nick, what's your name?"

The boy looked at Nick and Nick wasn't sure he understood, he pointed at himself and said his name again.

"Nick" he then pointed at the boy.

"Pedro" he replied quietly.

"Your name is Pedro?" Nick asked in Spanish, thinking he might not speak English.

The boy nodded and Nick asked him about what happened, writing everything down.

"Hey Amaro!" he heard Olson call him, there were two plainclothes officers next to him "Kramer and Jones, detectives from Narcotics, they know this place"

Nick smiled at the boy and told him he'd be right back.

"I'm Nick Amaro" he introduced himself "this boy, Pedro, he speaks Spanish, told me his older brother was here"

"He told you his brother was here?" one of the detectives asked.

"Yeah" Nick let them know everything, smiling at the boy once in a while.

The detectives thanked him and walked to the side to exchange a few words in private and Nick walked back to Pedro, calming him down.

"We're gonna drive him to the station" Kramer said and Nick thought his role was over when the other man continued "and Amaro, come with us, we could use your help"

* * *

It seemed like Pedro liked Nick and he opened up to him, talking about his brother. The information proved to be valuable for the detectives and they appreciated his help.

"Good job Amaro" Jones shook his head "the captain wants a word with you"

"Ok" Nick followed him to the captain's office and she told him to sit down.

"I'm captain Berg" she introduced herself "how long have you been in the force?"

"Not too long, I'm still partnered with my instructor"

"Fresh out of the academy?" she smiled.

"You could say that" he shrugged.

"I wanted to thank you for your help, you talking to Pedro really helped us with a case we've been working on, it's a big deal"

"Just doing my job"

"You did a damn good one Amaro, so I think you have a great future ahead of you. You have a plan?"

"I want to move up the ladder I guess, but it's still early for that"

"Amaro, it's never too early to think about that, in ten years, do you see yourself in the force?"

"Ten years?" Nick looked at the captain's desk, noting it was very organized "yes, even in twenty, hopefully until retirement"

"You're too young to be thinking about retirement Amaro, but it's good to know" she said "how do you find my squad?"

"I've only been here for a few hours" he wasn't sure how to respond.

"I think you could be a good addition to this place. You talking to that kid, shows me you have the right skills for us Amaro"

Nick wondered if this was a job interview, was she offering him something? Cause he'd say yes in a heartbeat, anything for a change.

"I think this place will be good for me"

"I'm glad we're on the same page" she smiled "let me make a few calls, see what we can do about it. But just so you know, Narcotics is not an easy squad, we're working hard here"

"The NYPD is not an easy place" Nick raised a brow.

"Yes, that is so true" the captain nodded "we'll be in touch"

* * *

The conversation with captain Berg made Nick hopeful, he's been so upset about the job, with it not being what he expected, but now he was on the right track, he was going somewhere. He took his mother out for an early dinner, he didn't tell her anything, but for him this was a little celebration.

He was still happy when he returned to his apartment but then his eyes fell on the piece of paper with a phone number on it. Nick felt guilty for the night they spent together. He took her home just because he was excited about saying her name, it made him feel like a jerk. What kind of a guy sleeps with someone and thinks about somebody else?

Maybe he should call her? Not that Nick really wanted to see her, the thought didn't excite him.

Nick grabbed his phone and dialed anyway, he wanted to ease his guilt.

"Yes?" she answered.

"Amanda?" Nick called her name.

"Nick?" she recognized his voice.

"Yes, I just wanted to call, see how you're doing, if you'd want to go get a drink?" this was the right thing to do, he slept with her, the least he could do was ask her out.

"Fine, if you wanna" she sounded a little busy "tomorrow works for me"

"Sounds great, you want to have coffee?"

"Yeah, fine, can I call you later?" he heard a noise, like she dropped something.

"Sure" Nick placed the phone on the table. This felt more like a chore, but he thought it was the right thing to do.

* * *

When Alice returned to her dorm room in the morning she wasn't sure what to expect. She had a class but it didn't matter. There were rumors, some kind of a fight took place. There was a big party so almost no one stayed at the dorms, but people still spoke. It had something to do with Carl Patton.

The guy was trouble. Everybody knew that.

Amanda was in bed when Alice walked into the room, she recognized the clothes from last night and knew something had happened.

"Amanda" Alice shook her a little so she'd wake up.

"What?" her voice was groggy.

"Wake up, what's going on?" Alice sat on the edge of the bed, looking at her friend.

"Nothing, I'm trying to sleep"

"Don't you have a class in an hour?" Alice kept on staring.

"Don't you have a class now?" Amanda didn't know what time it was, but she guessed that was the case.

"Sit up already" she tried to pull her up.

"Ok, let me go!" Amanda sat up, leaning on the wall "what's going on?"

"You tell me Amanda, I heard things, what happened here last night? And where's Nick?" she suddenly noticed he wasn't there.

"Nick" Amanda shrugged "he's gone, went back to New York"

"Why? What happened? Was Patton here?"

Alice cared about Amanda, she was her best friend. But she was so stubborn sometimes, it drove Alice mad. Why couldn't she just talk about what was bothering her? She always wanted to prove she could handle everything, even when she needed help.

"Nothing happened" Amanda shrugged again and looked down at her fingers, she placed them on the blanket "Nick had to go back to New York, it was stupid anyway…"

She got out of the bed and took out clean clothes from the closet.

"Damn it Amanda, just tell me what happened already" Alice stood up, blocking her way "if you say nothing one more time, I swear to god…"

"Carl came here, said all of his stupid things, you know, and Nick…he was…saying things too…it was…dumb"

"What?"

"What?" Amanda rolled her eyes "look, Carl is an idiot, I can handle him, ok?"

"I'm sure you can, but why is Nick gone, did he do something to him?"

"No one did anything to anyone Alice" Amanda moved away.

"Just talk to me Amanda, please, I heard someone was hit…"

"Alice" Amanda looked at her "please let it go. I'm not sure what he was thinking, coming here, it was a mistake and I shouldn't have…"

Alice wasn't sure if she was talking about Nick or Carl. She reached for her friend and hugged her, she had no idea what to think, talking wasn't helpful.

"I'm fine" Amanda pulled away.

* * *

Nick met her at a coffee shop by her place. He was feeling bad about this meeting, this was just his way to prove himself he didn't use her.

"Hey Nick" she waved at him, already holding a cup of coffee.

"Hey" he sat in front of her.

"What's up Nick, I was surprised you call, you know" she looked at him.

"Why?" did he give her a bad impression?

She shrugged "we had fun but I thought that was all"

"It felt weird to just…" Nick had no idea what to say, he was very uncomfortable.

"But I'm glad you called cause we did have fun" she smiled "you're not what I expected"

"What do you mean?"

"Honestly? You were more enthusiastic than I expected, I kinda liked it when you kept on saying my name" she whispered "oh Amanda, Amanda…"

Nick chuckled, she had no idea that while he was saying her name he was thinking about a different Amanda, was missing a different Amanda.

"How about we go to my place this time?" she didn't even ask him if he was going to get himself a drink.

Nick couldn't say no to the offer. If she liked it, and he liked it, maybe it didn't matter. It was just sex, it was meaningless, it didn't matter.

"Let's go, Amanda"

* * *

 **Summer 2002**

* * *

"It's been way too long!" Donnie gave Nick a hug "way too long"

"Yeah" Nick smiled at him, he hasn't seen Donnie for years, he moved to Los Angeles two years ago and they didn't talk much.

But Toby came for a visit from England and they decided to meet.

"How's LA?" Nick asked.

"Sunny, let's get drinks! Not wait for Toby to show up, I thought English men were always on time"

"He's still American" Nick smiled, but he liked the sound of a drink and they walked to the bar.

"How have you been Nicky?" Donnie finished his drink quickly.

"Not too bad actually, I love the job" he smiled. He's been in Narcotics for two years, it was a tough job, but sometimes Nick felt like he was able to make a difference.

A few months after he got there Nick was sent to his first undercover operation, it was short, one week of being a guy named Mateo, buying and selling drugs. He was good at it and they were able to make many arrests. After that he spent a whole year undercover, it was a big deal for the squad, for him. He was able to infiltrate a gang that's been dealing a new drug. He got enough information to take down their entire operation. It was a crazy time for him, but he was rewarded, becoming a detective.

"Well, well, well" the two friends heard a familiar voice.

"Toby!" Donnie jumped off the stool and walked to him "I was expecting an English accent, did you leave it at home?"

"Still as funny as ever" Toby gave him a quick hug, exchanging one with Nick too "it's great to see you"

"You too" Nick raised his glass.

"I'll go order us more drinks" Donnie turned towards the bar "and something to eat too"

"So how are you Nick?" Toby sat down.

"I'm good, made a detective a few months ago" he let him know.

"That's great!"

"I see you got married" Nick noted the ring on his finger.

"Yeah, it was a small ceremony in London, we didn't invite anyone, I'm not a girl so didn't bother call everyone I know" he chuckled.

"Congrats, man" Nick smiled "hope you're happy"

Toby nodded just as Donnie returned with drinks.

"Toby just told me he got married" Nick looked at him.

"Cool, how bout you Nick, who's keeping your bed warm?" Donnie asked.

"Just kinda…" Nick shrugged "I have this on and off again thing…"

"What does that mean?" Donnie let out a laugh "you two are off when you're off of her?"

"That's not what I mean" Nick didn't want to elaborate.

"Please tell us what it means" Toby sounded curious.

"We're just keeping each other company sometimes, it's not serious"

"How long have you known her?"

"Two years" the long period of time suddenly dawned on Nick.

His friend laughed "you two are very much together Nicky!" Donnie said "I like how you think that it's not serious"

Toby nodded in agreement "what's her name?"

"Amanda" Nick replied quietly, it wasn't serious between them. He was working long hours and sometimes they met up for a drink and ended up in bed. Not that he didn't like her. She was nice and funny. He didn't get a chance to meet anyone anyway so he just kept on seeing her. She was busy at her job in publishing so the arrangement seemed to suit both of them.

"Your Amanda?" Toby asked and Donnie gave him a questioning look "the same Amanda you met in Miami? The one from Atlanta?"

"No" Nick took a sip from the drink, it was a different Amanda.

"I guess you have a type" Toby shrugged, sounding a bit disappointed.

"The way I see it" Donnie had no idea who they were talking about "if you are not sleeping with anyone but her, and she's not sleeping with anyone but you. You're together, she's your girlfriend"

"It's not like that" Nick tried to deny it, but maybe he was lying to himself. Lately she has been calling him more, they were seeing each other more. He still kept on calling her name in bed.

Amanda, Amanda, Amanda. Just two nights ago, he rolled off of her, his eyes still closed.

"You want to watch a movie next week?" she asked and he nodded, why not?

Nick sat up, trying to ignore the uneasy feeling in his heart. It's not like he didn't like her or treat her bad. She was a good person and they had fun together.

But it felt different.

"Shit" he cursed and she looked at him.

"What?"

"I'm sorry, the condom broke" he apologized, that never happened to them before.

"Fine, I'll just go to a pharmacy, get the morning after pill, don't worry" she stood up and reached for her clothes.

"I'll drive you" he offered, feeling even worse.

* * *

"Graduation!" Alice danced around the room with her cape "I can't believe the day is finally here"

"Neither can I" Amanda smiled.

"I don't want to sound old, but time flies by" she laughed "soon we'll be somewhere else"

"I'm staying in Atlanta" Amanda said "but you will be somewhere else…in freaking Alaska!"

"What's wrong with Alaska?"

"It's far, that's what's wrong with it"

Ben, Alice's boyfriend got a good job offer there and proposed to Alice, she accepted. Amanda was happy for her, but she'd miss her friend.

"We still have time" Alice twirled in the room "and you're still my maid of honor"

Alice sat down a second later "I'm going to miss you"

"Me too" Amanda nodded.

"I know you're not going to call me Amanda, I know how you hate it when people leave…"

"Shut up" she tried to stop her.

"No, I know you" Alice gave her a stern look "you're my best friend and I love you, but you're such an idiot sometimes"

"Thanks" Amanda replied sarcastically.

"You are Amanda, because you let people go when they go. Sometimes, when people move away it doesn't mean they leave you"

"I know"

"No you don't" Alice shook her head "like what happened with you and Nick…"

"That was so long ago!" Amanda stood up, why was she bringing it up? She forgot all about him, she couldn't even remember how he looked liked, how dark was his hair, how caring his eyes were, until that night.

"You know I heard you say his name in your sleep a couple of times" Alice said quietly.

"Please shut up" she begged.

"Ok" Alice shrugged, she knew Amanda would deny if she pushed her. But there were a few nights when she was up late, studying while Amanda slept, and she heard her, Amanda mumbled his name "Nick…" and something Alice could never hear clearly. Amanda never told her what exactly happened, changed the subject whenever she brought it up. Alice liked him, she thought he seemed liked a sweet guy and the fact he found her, Alice thought it was romantic. If somebody cares enough to search for you, to fly over to you…

It means something.

* * *

Nick was sitting on her couch, not sure he heard her right. He had another great day at work, they made a big bust and even the chief came by to congratulate them. But now he was in the small living room, hearing something he was not expecting to.

"I'm pregnant" she said, showing him the test.

"How…"

"I guess that pill didn't work" she seemed to be in shock and sat down next to him "this is not how I planned this"

"I don't know what to say" he couldn't think of a thing. She was pregnant, Amanda was pregnant.

"I want you to know I'm keeping it" she turned to him "I always thought I'd have my first kid at thirty but now that it happened I can't just…you know"

"Ok" Nick stood up, he knew what he had to do "let's get married"

"What?"

"Let's get married" he repeated.

"Married?"

Nick took a deep breath "we've been seeing each other for two years now, you're pregnant…let's do it"

"Don't get too excited" she chuckled and smiled at him.

"You did just give me pretty huge news" he still couldn't wrap his thoughts around it. But he was going to have a baby, he had to give that baby a family.

"Alright, then let's get married"

* * *

 **Summer 2004**

* * *

"Amaro, Kramer, get in here" captain Berg called and the detectives rushed to her office. It sounded important.

"You remember the undercover case you worked on Amaro? The Sin Palabras gang?" she asked.

"Yeah, they were making a drug similar to heroin, called it SP9. I thought we busted them all" he remembered it well, it was the case that really turned things around for him.

"Yes, that's what we thought" she nodded.

"Are you saying that the drug's back on the street?" Kramer asked.

"I just got a call, two bodies were found, no connection between the victims. But they both had it in their system" she said.

"We can go check it out" Nick said "see what homicide have and how we can help, just give me the address"

"Hold your horses Amaro" she chuckled "you are going to check it out, but it's gonna take you a few hours"

"Oh man" Kramer said "I have a feeling it's gonna involve a lot of traffic, I choose the music Amaro"

"No traffic guys" the captain smiled apologetically "the dead bodies have not been found in New York"

"Oh" Nick was certain the drug was never sold out of the city "where?"

"Atlanta"

* * *

 _It seems that this story gets less love than my other fics. But for me it's one of the favorites. I love writing this AU Rollaro story, even though it's been pretty sad until now._

 _Next chapter they'll meet again after all these years._


	8. Chapter 8

The airport seemed different to Nick. He couldn't tell what changed, he didn't remember it that well, he was there in 2000, it felt like a lifetime ago and at the same time, it seemed like yesterday.

So many things in his life were different now but he couldn't figure out if he was.

"It would have been fine if Kramer came instead of you Amaro" captain Berg looked at him "you've been working very hard lately, putting in a lot of hours"

"I was the one undercover, it just makes more sense" Nick could see she wasn't convinced but didn't add a thing.

They took a taxi to the station and during the ride Nick tried not to ask himself if he'd see her, who knows where she ended up.

Amanda.

He played with his wedding band, even after two years he couldn't get used to it. There were days he thought it belonged to someone else, like he accidentally put it on, tried it on but couldn't take it off.

"Captain Berg?" Nick and his boss walked into the building dragging their suitcases when someone called them. It was a man dressed in a gray suit "I'm detective Bates"

"Nice to meet you" she shook his hand "this is detective Amaro"

"Thanks for coming all this way, we truly appreciate it" he led them to an open space "the lieutenant wanted to be here to greet you, but he is still in court"

"We know how it is" she nodded.

"You can leave your bags in his office and then I'll show you what we have" he pointed to the office and they placed the suitcases there.

"Here's the medical report" the detective handed each of them a copy "as you can see that's your drug in their system"

"And you found no connection between the victims, no affiliation to any gangs?" Nick asked.

"Nothing of the sorts, the woman, Ella Smith, was twenty seven, she was working at a computer company, not a risky lifestyle. The man is William Rivers, he's forty, was arrested twice, but nothing drug related"

"It does look like it's SP9" Berg went through the report "we are gonna have to figure out how it got here"

"You told the lieutenant you had an undercover operation going?" he turned to Berg.

"Amaro here was able to infiltrate the gang, we were able to stop them all together, at least that's how it looked"

"It's not like they couldn't pass the information to someone else" Nick suggested.

"Bates!" they heard someone scream.

"The lieutenant is here" Bates smiled "he's loud, don't let that bother you"

"Bates! Are those our guests from New York?" the older man walked to them.

"Yes we are, I'm captain Berg, this is detective Amaro" she smiled.

"I hope Bates told you how happy we are that you're here, showed you everything"

"We just got here" she let him know.

"Show them everything Bates" the lieutenant turned to him "and if you need anything don't hesitate and…" he looked around "I asked that new detective girl to give you a hand" he told them.

"But she took some time off after her…" Bates started.

"Just call her and tell her to be here Bates" the lieutenant said and walked to his office.

"Make yourselves comfortable" Bates smiled "I guess her day off just got canceled, I'll go let her know"

Nick and his captain exchanged a look before they sat down to go through the reports. Bates was back a few minutes later and briefed them about the investigation.

* * *

Amanda walked into the station and walked to the second floor, she was not supposed to be back yet but she was a little happy that Bates called, she didn't like sitting at home, doing nothing. Why did she ask for so many days off? Four was too much. One or two would have sufficed.

She saw Bates talking to someone and walked to his direction. But when she saw _him_ Amanda couldn't move, she felt like her feet were glued to the floor.

It was Nick.

That was the only thing on her mind when her eyes fell on him, it was Nick. She wasn't sure how long she stood there, staring.

A moment later Nick raised his head and now he saw her.

This unglued her feet and she moved to them, trying to look at other things in the room, like the computer, the paper clips on the desk, Bates had a purple pen by his computer, she never noticed.

"Rollins" Bates looked at her "sorry to drag you over here, the lieutenant…"

"It's Ok" Amanda looked at the files in Bates' hands and not at this man she almost knew.

"These are captain Berg and detective…I'm sorry…" he looked at Nick.

"Amaro, Nick Amaro" he looked at Amanda, was he supposed to say they'd met before?

"Nice to meet you" she nodded, feeling like she had to sit down.

"So you don't have much" the captain asked Bates.

"The drug killed them" he said "and since it's not a common one there has to be a connection, but the only thing I could find was your case"

"Let's work on finding out how they got the drugs, I don't see many interviews with any of their acquaintances, a few family members" Berg noted.

"Yeah, we started on it, but…"

"I'll handle that" Amanda said, she grabbed the papers that were right by Nick's hand, she noticed the ring on his finger.

"Amaro" the captain looked at him "I think you should help with that, see if you recognize anyone, maybe a name or a face you saw when you were undercover"

"Of course" Nick nodded.

"Start with the male victim, if he had priors maybe it will be easier"

* * *

"Can we talk?" Nick said once they were out of the station, walking towards the car.

When Nick saw her standing there he was afraid everybody knew, he was afraid they all knew something had happened between them.

Amanda looked almost the same, she was more beautiful than he remembered. Nick tried to control every movement of his, he had no idea how to react.

"Ok" Amanda looked at him.

"I just don't want any awkwardness between us" he said.

"We're doing our jobs, I think we can manage" she walked to her car and he followed.

"I know, it just been…a long time and…" Nick wasn't sure what he'd say if she'd want to talk about it.

"Let's leave the past in the past" Amanda opened the door and sat down, she waited for Nick to join her. He took the file with him so they'd have all of the addresses and Amanda looked at it. Again, she saw the ring.

"I see you're married" she said, maybe if she'd hear him say that it would make the bizarre feeling in the pit of her stomach go away.

Nick looked at his hand and nodded "yeah"

It didn't make Amanda feel better.

"Cool" she tried to give him a real smile, why was he here? Couldn't they send someone else? Why did it bother her? Why was he married?

She drove to the first place and didn't say a thing.

Nick was trying to think of something to say, all he could think about was how nothing had changed, sitting next to her felt like the other times they were in a car, when he drove her to Loganville and back. It almost hurt him, remembering what happened at the dorms. The way she looked when she asked him to leave, when he was screaming at her.

Nick tried to keep his eyes away from her, not to look at her, but even when he closed his eyes she was still there.

The silence felt heavy, it felt like it was another person in the car with them. Each tried to ignore it, pretend this wasn't a big deal, they were two strangers who had to work together. But what kind of strangers knew one another, even if not for long? What kind of strangers touched one another? Missed one another.

After a while Amanda couldn't bare it any longer, the silence, Nick's presence, the fact he was married, which she didn't care about at all, not even the tiniest bit. She turned on the radio, hoping the music would distract her.

"… _All I wanna do is make love to you, one night of…"_

Amanda turned it off as quickly as she could, she noticed Nick glanced at her when the song came on and again when she turned the radio off. Why did it bother her? The lyrics, the fact Nick was here, married. It's not like anything serious would have happened between them anyway. Even if they would have slept together…it wouldn't change anything.

It's been a hard week for her, so that's probably why.

Amanda stopped at a red light, and they both looked at the people crossing the street, Nick's eyes focused on a woman with a stroller.

"Got any kids?" Amanda saw him looking and couldn't stop herself from asking.

Nick shook his head slowly and she could see sorrow in his eyes "she was pregnant but…had a miscarriage" he said quietly, looking at the wedding band.

"I'm sorry Nick" Amanda touched his shoulder softly and Nick hoped she'd never move her hand away. But Amanda quickly pulled it from him. Touching him, even if it was just the fabric of the suit made her feel so confused. A second later the light turned green and she drove off.

Nick thought about his wedding day, she was excited about it and planned a pretty big event, it surprised Nick, he thought she wouldn't bother too much, but everyone around him said that's how women do it – they all make a big deal.

It was so weird to stand in the church and say I do, _Amanda_ , I do.

They decided not to go on a honeymoon, both of them were busy with work, he was just done moving his things to her apartment.

A few days after the wedding they went to listen to the baby's heartbeats and Nick promised himself that he will make it work, he was going to be a father and he will love his son or daughter.

But one night she woke up with blood running down her thighs. He took her to the hospital, neither said it would be ok, they both knew what happened and when the doctor said it, the baby was gone, it almost didn't mean anything.

Nick hugged her, it was what he was meant to do, the right thing. They returned home and Nick watched as she threw away the picture that was hanged on the fridge, from the ultrasound. It was very unclear but she still liked it.

But for Nick, even with this loss, it seemed like nothing changed. He hugged her when they went to bed and whispered "it's going to be ok Amanda" but he wasn't sure who he was talking to.

* * *

They conducted a few interviews and called in to let Bates and Nick's captain know.

"You're hungry?" Amanda asked, she hasn't had anything to eat the entire day and even though she wasn't sure having lunch with Nick would be the best thing, she had to eat.

"I am actually very hungry" he said.

"I'll stop and get us something, we can eat at the station"

Nick wanted to eat just the two of them, talk to her, alone. But maybe it wasn't a good idea.

Amanda left him in the car and told him to wait for her while she bought the food.

Nick thought she was a good detective, from the short time they spent together, she seemed to ask good questions, noticed a lot of things. Not that it surprised him, he had a feeling she'd be good at it.

* * *

"You got anything?" Amanda placed the containers on the desk so they could all eat "we don't have much"

"Maybe" the captain said "you told us that one of River's friends mentioned an old army buddy so we checked that out, turns our Ella Smith's neighbor served with him a few years ago. He now works at a bar and…" she handed them a print out "that guy works at a bar, and we've checked all of the financial records and looks like each of them was in the area about a week before they died"

"Good job captain" Nick smiled at her "he's got a connection to New York or the Sin Palabras?"

"Nothing we could find, but we do know he had a shift at the bar tonight so you two are gonna go there and check him out" she gave Nick a photo of the man but he couldn't recognize him and handed it to Amanda.

The lieutenant stepped out of his office "Rollins" he said firmly "how are you? Thank you for coming on your day off"

"It's ok" she tried to brush it off and Nick wondered if there was something going on, Bates was a bit reluctant to call her in, but it didn't look like it was because he didn't want to work with her.

"Good, just close this case, I don't want any more trouble with this drug of yours" he looked at Nick as if he was personally responsible.

"I think you can go settle in at the hotel" Bates offered "we'll see you at the bar at nine pm?"

* * *

Nick lay down on the bed. All he could think about was Amanda, how she looked just the same and yet so different. How much he wanted to kiss her. He was married, he couldn't do that, couldn't cheat.

They met at the bar on time. Berg and Bates were at a parked car and Nick and Amanda were supposed to check out the bartended and then talk to him. Since this was a last minute thing they had to use a pen-microphone, Amanda kept it in her purse and she had to push it when she'd go talk to him.

Amanda was wearing a dark blue dress, her hair was down and Nick noticed it was longer than the last time he saw her. She was so beautiful Nick had to remind himself this wasn't a date, they were working.

Amanda walked in and found a seat. She ordered a cocktail and waited for Nick to join her. She tried to push away the glimpse of excitement of being almost alone with Nick.

"Is this seat taken?" she heard his voice and felt tingles in her stomach.

She nodded, not sure she could speak.

"Can I have two of these?" he pointed at her drink "what do you think?"

"I don't know, he didn't do anything yet" she whispered and he smiled at her when the bartender was back with their drinks.

He pushed one of the drinks towards her to make it look like he was hitting on her.

"He looks familiar?" she asked when he was gone.

"No, I don't know if I ever saw him"

"I don't know if he recognizes you" she noticed he was looking at them and smiled at Nick, played with her hair as if they were flirting.

Nick tried to stay focused, they were investigation a case, he couldn't just look at her beautiful blue eyes, her hair. He wanted to touch it so badly.

"Is he looking?" Nick asked and she nodded, her fingers moved to the glass, moving it around a bit "what is he doing now?" he leaned in, he could smell her now, the sweet scent of her perfume.

"Cleaning something up"

Nick noticed there weren't too many people at the bar, but why would he keep on looking at them? Amanda was gorgeous, the most beautiful woman in there, but her dress was modest while on the other side of the bar he noticed two young ladies who seemed to forget to wear a top, why was the bartender not checking them out?

"He's looking at you again" she let him know "kiss me"

Nick almost fell down off the stool, she just asked him to kiss her. They were working, so this was probably a distraction. But the thought of touching those beautiful lips of hers, feel how soft they are. He knew how good it would feel. Nick moved in slow motion towards her, his gaze focused on her. He was so close, about to reach them, to feel her…

"Hey!" Amanda yelled, causing everyone at the bar to look at them "what do you think you're doing?"

For a moment Nick was confused, but he realized she wanted him to leave and this would be her excuse to speak to the bartender. He mumbled a quick apology and left money on the counter before leaving.

Nick walked to the parked car and joined the captain and Bates. He heard Amanda's voice, she must have turned the mic on.

"I've seen my share of these kind of men here" the bartender told her "you didn't know that guy?"

"No, he thought if he bought me a drink he bought me" she chuckled.

"How about a drink? On the house. Wouldn't want you to think this establishment welcomes those people here"

Nick listened as she talked to him, the bartended listened to her complaints about guys, how they only wanted one thing. She giggled a few times and it made Nick smile, he loved her laugh, even if it was fake.

Nick realized he stopped listening, his thoughts wandered to her lips again, he couldn't kiss her, he wanted to, but it was wrong. He was married, he couldn't cheat.

"She's good" the captain said and Nick realized he had no idea what was going on.

Apparently Amanda was able to lead him from the bar, she asked him if he could help her get something to ease the frustration.

"I can help you get a cookie if you keep it a secret" the man whispered.

Amanda chuckled "the green stuff doesn't help much, thanks anyway, I should probably go" she took a few steps when he heard the bartender call her.

"Wait!" she walked back.

"I don't even know your name"

"Annie"

"Well, Annie" Nick could imagine him smiling at her "I may have something that can help you"

"Let's go" Bates walked out of the car and they followed him.

Amanda was in the back room with the bartender, he took something from his back pocket and handed it to her.

"Stop right there" Bates shouted and they both looked at him.

"You bitch!" the bartender looked at her, he grabbed a knife behind him and held it right by Amanda's neck "I think you should lower the guns"

"Ok, ok" Bates said, he lowered his a little and Nick did the same "take it easy"

"I'm taking it easy" the blade was touching Amanda's neck and she tried not to move a muscle, knowing that if she did that knife will do a lot of damage.

"Just let her go and it will be fine" Bates said.

"Let me go and she will be fine, I want you to leave or I'm cutting her neck open"

All Amanda needed was a distraction, for him to move his hand from her body.

Bates placed his gun in the holster and the others followed, Nick wasn't comfortable with this and he kept his hand right by the weapon.

"You're not in any danger now" Bates told him "let her go"

The bartender touched Amanda's hair, making Nick's blood boil with rage, he didn't want this to continue, the blade was pressed to her skin and even the slightest movement by any of them could hurt her.

"Go back to the bar" he told them "leave us alone"

"We can't do that" Nick said, he was afraid Bates would just follow the instructions.

The bartender smiled at Nick "you should have been an actor, I really thought you were into her, ain't ashamed to admit you got me fooled. But since you lied to me, maybe I should get a little something…" he reached to the hem of her dress, was about to lift it.

This was all Amanda needed, the motion made the knife move from her neck just enough for her to stick her left elbow in his stomach and catch the hand holding the knife with her right one. He dropped the weapon and cursed.

Bates moved to her and caught the man "looks like you lost" he took out his handcuffs.

"You ok?" Nick asked Amanda and she nodded without looking at him. Bates led him out of the bar and they walked to the car.

Berg opened the door so he could let the bartended in the car but the moment the door was opened they heard a gun shot and he fell to the ground.

"Get down" Bates yelled and they all did, he called back up.

"Where did it come from?" Nick asked and looked at Amanda.

"I don't know" she shook her head. It was quiet.

The ambulance was there a few minutes later but he was dead even before he hit the ground.

"Somebody knew what they were doing" the captain said.

* * *

The lieutenant was not thrilled when he was briefed about the events "I do not like it, a sniper?"

"That's what it looks like lieutenant" Bates said.

"He was probably following him, or us" Berg looked around.

"That's just great, I already got a call from the commissioner…I can't stand his voice so I'm not happy about it but…" he looked at Nick and then at the captain "looks like you can return to New York, we're gonna look into this ourselves, if the guy wasn't connected to your gang, I don't think you can help anymore. I appreciate you coming over here" he shook their hands.

"Our pleasure, and we'll be grateful if you could keep us updated" Berg asked and he nodded "good luck"

They said goodbye to Bates while Amanda excused herself, she wanted to get away, had to calm down after everything that had happened. She hoped they'll leave fast, she didn't want to face Nick again.

She walked out of the bathroom and it seemed like they were gone, she was safe. Amanda grabbed her keys and walked out to the street.

Nick's captain told him they'll fly back tomorrow morning, Nick said he wanted to spend a bit of time in the city so she returned to the hotel alone.

"Amanda" he saw her walk out of the station, she seemed surprised to see him "I just wanted to say bye, we're leaving"

"Thanks for coming to help" she walked to her car and he was right behind her.

"You're ok?"

"Yes, he didn't hurt me" she replied without looking at Nick. The car wasn't far and she turned to him to say goodbye.

"Amanda" he whispered, what was he doing there? What did he want from her? He was married, this was wrong.

Then why did it feel so right? Why kissing her seemed like the only good thing he could do?

She was standing by the door and Nick was right in front of her, he wanted to touch her, it's not complicated, just raise your arm and reach for her, she's not far, just do it, feel her warm skin against your fingers.

But the ring on his finger felt so heavy he realized his arm was still by his waist.

"It was nice seeing you" she half smiled at him "I'm sure you can't wait to get back home to your wife"

Nick wanted to tell her he wasn't looking forward to it, all he wanted was to stay there with her. But he couldn't.

"Bye Nick" she opened the door and sat down.

Nick watched as she drove off, he couldn't talk to her so what did he expect her to say?

The next morning he was sitting in his seat, saying goodbye to Atlanta.

"That detective, Rollins" Berg said "she has good instincts"

"Yeah" Nick nodded, he noticed she had great skills.

"You know, Bates told me she took some time off because her sister died a few days ago, I have to say she did a really good job, didn't let it distract her"

Nick turned to the captain, Kim was dead? He wanted to ask that, but she didn't know he met Amanda before, that he saw her sister.

"Oh" that was all Nick could mutter, he wanted to walk to the pilot, tell him to turn the plane around, he had to go back to Atlanta, he had to go back to his Amanda.

But that was not going to happen.

* * *

 _A lot of drama in this one, hope you liked it…_


	9. Chapter 9

_When I write a fic your opinion matters and since I appreciate your comments a lot here's a quick update._

* * *

Nick didn't return home, he went straight to the station. Work seemed to be one of the only things that kept his mind off of his personal life. But he was sent home after a few hours and was glad to see he was alone.

He turned on the shower and tried not to think about anything, let the water clear his mind as it took away the dirt. But it wasn't working, Nick closed his eyes and saw her. Amanda wearing the dark blue dress, her lips inches away and this time she let him kiss her. She let him touch her, take the dress off of her body and he was savoring it, exposing her beautiful skin, his lips on her neck, her breasts. Nick could almost hear her moans. He tried to think about something else but there was nothing but her and that image, she was lying naked on a bed and he was with her. Nick's hand moved lower, he was touching himself but could feel her, how she would feel…

But Amanda wasn't there, and he could feel the image slipping away. He was stroking his cock so hard, it almost hurt, everything hurt. He couldn't see anything anymore, it was all dark in front of him and when he came it felt like he was punched in the gut. Nick opened his eyes and saw the light green tiles, they seemed so ugly, he was disgusted by them, by everything that was in the room, especially the man who was standing there.

His eyes stung but he didn't bother fighting it, he let the tears pour down as the water washed it away.

Nick wasn't sure how much time he spent in the small room. When he walked out he saw his wife in the living room, he didn't realize she was back.

"Are you ok Nick?" she asked "you're eyes are really red"

"It's just the shampoo, it got into my eyes"

* * *

It's been just over a month since he returned from Atlanta and Nick came back home after another double shift. He's been spending almost all of his time at work, and when he wasn't working he was working out. He was grateful for long stakeouts, or any excuse not to sleep at home.

Nick walked into the apartment, he's been feeling like a stranger, it wasn't his place.

"Hey" he said quietly, she was in the kitchen and smiled at him.

"Nick, I'm glad you're here, I want to have a word" she looked up.

"Ok" he sat down on the couch and waited for her to join him, he felt tired, but it wasn't the lack of sleep.

"We're not happy"

She was right but he was afraid to agree.

"I've been thinking for a long time Nick, about us. From the beginning, we should have never taken things so far, I feel like it was just convenient for both of us, with your work and with mine, neither of us having time to really date, to find a serious relationship. We took it too far, getting married because of the baby and then after we lost it…it was a mistake, you don't love me and I don't love you, not like you're supposed to. We are both good people who don't deserve this. You suffer and I suffer too. We can't stay together anymore"

Nick gave her a slight nod, he never loved her, he was trying to ease the guilt and when she got pregnant, he just wanted to do the right thing, take responsibility, give the child a real family. But forcing himself couldn't have been the right thing, could it?

"I saw a lawyer and…" she walked to the other room and returned with an envelope "these are divorce papers, I think it's fair, I'll stay in the apartment, but no one's gonna have to pay any spousal support, it's the cleanest break possible"

Nick took a deep breath and it felt like this was the first time he was breathing in years.

* * *

 **Spring 2005**

* * *

"Amaro" Berg rushed out of her office to his desk "I just got a call"

"What about?" Nick knew that it was important, she looked serious "remember our visit to Atlanta a few months ago?" he nodded, how could he forget "back then they took the bullet out of that bartender but couldn't find a match, that is until a few days ago"

"I thought they didn't want us to help with that anymore" he wondered who called her, maybe it was Amanda, how did she sound?

"But the match was to a case in New York, a shooting from two days ago so Bates called me, he' and his partner are already here"

"Ama…Rollins, right?" Nick tried to control his tone.

"Yes, they're already at homicide" she said.

"Want me to see if I can contribute?" Nick stood up, he almost didn't wait for her to talk.

"Yeah, I talked to homicide and they…"

"On my way" Nick couldn't leave fast enough, he didn't even notice the captain wasn't done talking. All he wanted was to lay his eyes on Amanda.

It wasn't his first time at homicide, they asked their help in a few cases in the past, but now he felt like a rookie, like he had no idea what to do, where to go. Nick searched for her and noticed she and another detective were drinking coffee, it seemed like he was telling her a joke and she liked it or at least acted like it was funny.

Nick walked towards them but before he got a chance to call her name someone called his.

"Amaro" it was Bates "thanks for coming, the guys here have a few pictures for you"

"No problem" Nick glanced at Amanda, she and the other man walked to the desk "I'm happy to help"

"Rollins, you remember Amaro, right?" Bates said and she nodded.

"What are you doing here Amaro?" The detective who spoke with Amanda asked, Nick met him before but couldn't remember the name "we told your captain we'd send the photos over to you"

"I'm already here" he glanced at Amanda again and the detective handed him the picture.

"A sniper?" Nick looked at her and she nodded. He didn't think the guy was in the gang, he didn't recognize him "I haven't seen him when I was undercover"

"Would have been much easier if you knew the name" the detective sat down.

"Sorry, but I'd love to help you out anyway" Nick offered, he did want to help, that operation was a big deal for him, an important part of his career and he felt like it was his responsibility to find out what was going on.

"I think we're ok here, we have back up from Atlanta so we'll be fine, but we'll call if we need anything else"

"Oh" Nick was disappointed, he looked at Amanda, wanted her to ask him to stay, but it wasn't her choice and now she was focused on some report and not on him.

Nick thought she looked a little different than the last time he saw her, as if something in her has changed. Nick couldn't figure out what it was exactly, she looked stronger and he hoped she was.

"Looks like it's not connected to your gang" Bates shrugged "the case went cold in Atlanta minutes after the shooting, the only evidence we got was the bullet and it's been months"

"No witnesses?" Nick asked, his eyes on her.

"Nothing" Amanda shook her head.

"Thanks for coming over anyway, Amaro" the other detective said and Nick realized he was no longer welcome.

* * *

Nick returned to the station feeling like a failure, he walked to the captain to let her know he was back.

"Amaro" she smiled "you took off faster than the sniper's bullet"

"Sorry, it's just that this case…" the case and Amanda.

"I understand, Amaro" she gestured on the chair and he sat down "we all thought we had it under control, took the drug off the streets. It's not your fault"

"I know" he let out a puff of air, feeling a bit frustrated, he wanted the detective to ask him to help "it's just that I wanted to make a difference and now…"

"Is that why you wanted to be an officer?" Berg asked.

"Honestly?" she nodded "I never told you this, but when I was a kid my father used to beat the crap out of my mom, he beat me up too, but not as much. One day somebody, a neighbor maybe, called the police. When the cop arrived, my mom gave him an excuse and I was standing there, I think I was five and he just left, I saw him leave even though she looked terrible. She didn't look like she fell or like she was clumsy" Nick took a few breaths "I guess I wanted to be different, to make a difference. Because I don't know why he didn't insist, I don't know why it took her so much time to leave…"

"What about him?" Berg asked "you ever asked yourself why your father hit her or you?" Nick wasn't sure what to say "I've worked with you for a long time Amaro, you're a good detective, you're a good man. I trust you and know you care. But your problem is that you want to help under your conditions, you think your way is the only way, and if someone refuses to ask for help they are automatically wrong. You need to understand that sometimes the way to help someone is by being there, listening, waiting. That's the hardest thing to do, to really support someone, understand they need something else, like time. Maybe they are wrong, but often if you force someone before they are ready, they will not trust you. This doesn't always apply, but you still need to understand that"

Nick's thoughts returned to that night in Atlanta, when he had the fight with Amanda, when he hurt her and left her. Berg was right, he should have listened to her, should have seen she was genuinely afraid. He shouted at her, as if she wanted to get hurt. Why did he leave? How could he walk away on her when she was so hurt?

Nick had to tell her all of that, to ask for forgiveness. He's been feeling guilty about his behavior all these years and maybe this was his chance to make amends.

* * *

Nick returned to homicide a while later, he waited in his car, feeling like he was back in Loganville, waiting for her to leave the station after her sister was arrested. When they were in Atlanta a few months ago the captain mentioned that she just died and Nick asked himself what happened, he could probably guess but needed Amanda to tell him. Nick had to hear her voice, see her face.

Finally she showed up, he saw her walking down the stairs, looking to be in a hurry. She walked to the right and entered a coffee shop. Nick smiled to himself and quickly left his car, he hoped no one would recognize him there, no one but her.

There were a lot of people in the shop and Nick noticed her standing in line, she held on to a piece of paper and he figured she was on a coffee run, saving everyone from the dreadful coffee the NYPD provided.

"There's a line man!" someone called when he cut in front of him.

"Excuse me" Nick apologized "I'm not buying anything"

Amanda turned to see what was going on and was a bit shocked to see Nick.

"Hey" he smiled at her.

"What are you doing here?"

"I had to talk to you" he lowered his voice, not wanting others to listen in "alone"

"Well, there's no one else in this place" she smirked, not sure how to react to his words.

Amanda looked down on his hands and noticed the ring was missing, she looked up at his face with a questioning expression "what do you want Nick?"

"I have a lot of things to say to you, not here, but…" the line was moving and they took a few steps forward "later, when you have some time, can I meet you somewhere? It's important"

Amanda felt like she wasn't standing in that coffee shop, she was back on the beach in Miami, Nick was lying next to her, asked if he could kiss her, a part of her wanted to do exactly that right now, forget she was in the middle of an investigation, forget that she was out to get everyone coffee and kiss him like nothing mattered. But he was married, wasn't he? So what if he didn't have the ring, this wasn't the right thing to do.

But what did he want to tell her? What was so important that he followed her in here? When they met in Atlanta Nick had nothing to say to her, just didn't want things to be awkward. Well, they were awkward then and they were still awkward now. Maybe talking wasn't a good idea, she should ask him to leave, they didn't need his help in the investigation and she didn't need him, she didn't want to see him, be close to him, touch him, kiss him, feel his lips on her body…No! What was she doing? It's been years, why was she still thinking about him?

It's not like she was alone in Atlanta, she dated a little. After graduation there was Thomas, for about six months, but she broke it off, wanted to focus on her career and he didn't like the fact she was a cop. And there was Greg, it lasted a lot longer but she didn't feel anything with any of them. She wanted to, but couldn't force herself. She did say it to Greg one night, thinking it would change things, as if it would make her feel it. But she didn't love him, she didn't even know what love felt like.

"Please" Nick could see she hesitated, he had to convince her somehow, something told him this was the last chance. If she says no, if he walks away, it will be over and they will never see each other again.

She glanced at his hand again and Nick raised it.

"It's over" he was talking about the marriage, hoping this was why she looked "please" he repeated, not sure she'd appreciate him begging in public.

It was her turn to order the drinks and Nick waited until she was done.

Amanda told herself to say no, what could he tell her? What did she want him to say? She opened her mouth and reminded herself of the word – no, tell him you don't want to talk to him.

"Ok" she muttered, not sure what happened to her voice, to her plan.

Nick was so relieved he gave her a wide smile "where are you staying?"

Amanda grabbed one of the cups, it was her drink, she took a pen and wrote the hotel's name, room number and ten pm.

"Thank you" he took the cup from her and wondered if she'd say anything else. But Amanda stayed silent as she took the remaining drinks and walked away.

"Hey man, thought you weren't ordering anything" a man said, but Nick didn't care about him. All he wanted was for the clock to move faster.

* * *

"Hey mom" Nick walked into the house "how are you doing?"

"I'm ok" she gave him a kiss "I didn't know you'd come by"

"You still keep all the old pictures, right? I'm looking for one of them…"

"You're looking for an old photo?" Cesaria wondered why, he never really liked looking through photographs and when he got married he didn't even give her copies. Of course it was probably for the best because the marriage ended and it would have been weird to keep those memories around.

"Yes ma, do you remember where they are?"

"Of course I know where I put them. But I don't know where's the one that you need, come on" she showed him where she kept everything.

It took Nick a while but finally he was staring at the right one, Amanda and him at that party. They seemed happy and he wanted to feel that again.

"You found what you've been looking for?" Cesaria peeked into the room.

"Yeah, thanks mom" Nick walked to her and smiled.

"Good thing I didn't throw them away"

"You're always right ma" he gave her a quick kiss.

"Why don't you stay for dinner?" she offered.

"Thanks, but not tonight" Nick smiled "I have something to do" Nick was about to walk out of the door when he turned around "and mom, I love you"

* * *

At 22:05 Nick knocked on the door. He was at the hotel earlier, sitting in the parking lot for some time. He walked around in the lobby after he could no longer stay cooped in the vehicle. Nick felt like everybody could notice how nervous he was. The hour he's been waiting for couldn't get there fast enough.

Nick hoped she'd listen, but he knew he had no right to expect for more. He had no idea what he wanted Amanda to do, she could say thanks for the apology, goodbye. Maybe she won't even accept it. Even after all the years he could see her face clearly, the way she looked that night. The tears she tried to hold back, the pain she couldn't hide. As if she was the one punched in the gut, like she was the one who got hit by that pipe. And he saw everything but was blind to it. He was insulted so he just walked away, blaming her.

Nick looked at his watch. It was 22:00, he was late.

"Hi" she opened the door and let him in. Nick looked at her, dressed in a red plaid shirt and a pair of jeans, ripped at the knees. Seeing her like that Nick knew why he was in so much pain for such a long time.

He was in love with her.

It dawned on him, didn't he realize this before? Didn't he realize he was completely in love with this woman? All of these years, the reason he couldn't stop thinking about her was because he loved her, like he never loved anyone before, never will again.

"Amanda I l…" he stopped himself, had to say something else first "I came here to apologize" he said, Amanda was looking at him but he couldn't read her, didn't know what she was thinking. Nick reached to his back pocket and took out the photograph, looking at it with a slight smile. He handed it to her.

"Remember? Your friend took it at that party" he watched as her eyes fell on the people in the Polaroid, the same people who were standing in the room.

"Yeah" Amanda nodded, examining the photograph, not sure what she was feeling, what she wanted to feel.

"I wish I could go back to that day Amanda" he confessed "I wish I could hold you and not let you go. Because what happened later, what I said that other night…I made a mistake. I thought the only way I could help you was if you listened to me, but I didn't hear you. I just walked away on you because I was angry at what you said to me. I've been feeling like crap ever since because of what I've done. I wish I could change things, that I could really be there for you. Everything in my personal life got messed up because I was wrong, because I didn't understand what I know now"

He stopped talking for a moment, the words got mixed up in his head and he wasn't sure if she heard him, if he even said a single word or just stared at her the entire time. He took a step towards her, still unsure of what she was thinking, because she was still holding on to the photo. Her eyes looked so blue, and he had no idea if it was the color or if it was the emotion.

"Amanda" he moved closer, wanting, but almost afraid to reach for her. There was one more thing he had to confess to.

"I fell in love with you the moment I saw you"


	10. Chapter 10

_For all of you who were concerned for Nick's balls – fear no more, major smut warning in this chapter._

* * *

"I fell in love with you the moment I saw you"

The words kept on swirling in Amanda's brain, in her whole body, like goosebumps on her skin. She felt them surround her, embrace her.

He said he loved her. But she hated him.

She hated what he just said, hated that she couldn't forget him, hated that she talked about him in her sleep, had dreams about him, missed him. She hated that she could still feel his lips on her skin, hated how she was drowning in his eyes.

But he said he loved her.

Why wasn't she sure if she was breathing?

She hoped she was, she wanted to breathe. She wanted to breathe so she could spend at least one more second with him, to feel the tingle in her heart, to feel him again, to hear him say it again.

Nick said he loved her and it made everything else almost disappear.

He loved her and now she finally knew why being away from him hurt her so much.

Amanda close the gap, her voice was barely a whisper "I love you too"

Nick heard her and did what he's been dreaming of for so much time, he caught her mouth with his lips, his arms wrapped around her. Amanda let his tongue taste hers. He pushed her into him, as close as he could, but even that was too far, even that wasn't enough, he was still afraid something or someone will pull them apart, he wasn't going to let that happen.

Amanda's hands tried to push his jacket down, not wanting any layers between them. She struggled and failed at the task, he was holding her so tight it was hard for her to move the fabric. Nick forced himself to move back a little and without taking his eyes off of her he started getting rid of his clothes. Amanda did the same, pulling her shirt off, her pants down. Nick was hypnotized by her but he still managed to get himself naked and once they were both free from the attire he kissed her with everything he got, gluing her to him and pushing her to the bed.

Nick got on top of her, he looked into her eyes and felt her spread her legs wide for him. He wasn't thinking, allowed the desire to control his movements and he pushed himself into her in one swift motion, not letting anything interrupt them.

Amanda let out a loud gasp as he filled her completely, they were looking into each other's eyes as he kept on thrusting into her, the bed was moving with them but all Nick could feel was her. The way she was wrapped around him, the way she looked, her lips spread a bit, moaning and gasping every time his body slummed into hers. He realized he was grunting too.

Her nails dug into his back and he was grateful she didn't keep them long, but it wouldn't matter if she had knifes instead of nails, her touch could never hurt.

The sensation was too good to last much longer, he was so deep inside her, he felt like every fiber, every nerve was going to be consumed by her and he wanted her to do that. Nick wanted her to have him, to take everything he had.

He felt her convulse underneath his body and a second later she arched her back and closed her eyes, digging her fingers into his back with more force. The sound she made drove him over the edge and he kept on moving inside of her until he was completely empty.

Nick's body collapsed on top of her, not being able to move. Amanda's hands were still on his back, caressing him. Finally he rolled on the bed, still breathing heavily.

"Amanda" he whispered, his voice was rugged. He had to call her name to make sure she was there.

She smiled at him, the small gesture lit up her entire face and he couldn't help but smile too. It left him speechless and he just moved closer, wanting to touch her, feel her against him again. Amanda kissed his lips, she kept it mellow, calm.

They were both tired and he caressed her hair when she pulled away, still with that wide grin on her lips.

"Stay here tonight" she asked him and he nodded, how could he leave? She turned around and pressed her back to his chest. Nick wrapped his arms around her, embracing her, and they both fell asleep.

When Nick woke up he wasn't sure what time it was, the room was lit because they didn't turn off the lights, but through the curtains he noticed it was still dark outside.

Amanda felt him stir and she opened her eyes "what's going on?" she asked quietly.

"Nothing" Nick kissed the back of her head "I was just wondering what time it was"

"My phone's by the bed" she let him know and he let go of her for a moment, it was four am.

Nick's arms were around her body a second later, he didn't want to waste any more time not touching her "you want to go back to sleep?" he caressed her stomach.

"Not really" she smiled and moved her butt against his groin, she didn't feel a need for sleep, only for him.

Nick laughed, loving her idea, loving her. He moved his left hand to his lips, wetting his index finger a bit and letting it travel down her body to her clit. Amanda sighed when she felt his touch, he was circling it slowly, feeling her stir against him. Nick wanted to go slow this time, to make the experience last longer.

Amanda thought she'd melt, she thought it wasn't real, like last night was a dream. But Nick was next to her, touching her, and he loved her, she loved him.

Amanda reached to his thigh and Nick decided to give her what they both wanted, he let go of her clit and slowly entered her, eliciting a moan from her mouth. His right hand kept her in place as his left moved to her breast, pinched one of her nipples and cupped the other, putting some pressure. Amanda moaned again, they moved against one another, slowly and gently.

She turned her head to him and he kissed her again, they rhythm of their tongues matched to the one of their bodies and they kept on taking it slow.

Amanda loved how he fondled her breasts, but she felt like she needed more so she moved her right hand in between her legs. This sight, with her hand between her thighs, was so erotic Nick wasn't sure he could take it. They were completely wrapped in one another and both could stay like that forever.

"I love you" he whispered when their lips were apart for a few seconds, he felt like he won't be able to say that enough.

Nick could feel himself getting closer, being inside her, kissing her, seeing her. It was taking over him. He let her mouth go and started thrusting harder. Amanda sighed and Nick pounded into her with even more force, his finger was back between her thighs, he wanted to make her climax, wanted to feel her come.

"Nick…" she called, her voice was overflowing with desire and a moment later she called it again with abandon as the orgasm took over her. Nick exploded inside of her, pushing himself as deep into her as he could.

When they were both breathing evenly Amanda turned around and rested her head on his chest as he played with her hair.

"Amanda" he whispered but when her eyes were focused on him Nick had no idea what he wanted to say to her. The past and future didn't matter, how could anything but them matter?

* * *

"Come to my place tonight" Nick said, they were out of the shower and he watched her getting dressed.

"Ok" Amanda smiled and threw his shirt at him "you better put your clothes on too, don't you have to work today?"

Nick walked to her and kissed her lips "wish I didn't"

Amanda's smile widened "and I thought you're a serious guy"

"I am" his lips were on hers again, not wanting to let go "but I want to spend as much time with you as I can" he hated the thought of her returning to Atlanta.

"I'd like that" she caressed his back, she didn't really want to be away from Nick, but she was here to work and she had to prove herself.

So many people raised their eyebrows when she was placed in homicide, she was the youngest one there and she just made detective. Amanda knew she was good enough, but others didn't seem to care.

"Call me when you're done and I'll pick you up" Nick kept on kissing her face, lips, neck. Hoping that every kiss would make the clock slow down.

"I will" Amanda gave him one more kiss and moved to the door "just leave when you're ready" her phone buzzed, it was Bates, he was waiting for her at the lobby.

She smiled and gave him a quick wave before walking out of the door.

Nick couldn't wipe the smile off his face, he couldn't go to work like that, people would think he's gone crazy. But he didn't care, the night they'd spent together was incredible, what he felt, what she felt. They still had to talk about things, it's not like everything was fixed, they both knew it. But Nick also knew that it will work out, they loved each other. It was real and that was why it hurt him so much, he hurt the one he loved.

But they were in love, so everything will be alright.

* * *

"Welcome" Nick opened the door and let Amanda into his apartment. He was lucky to find it, after the divorce all he wanted to do was move away as fast as possible and this was the first place he saw. It was a decent size and was in a good enough shape.

Nick didn't really bother with interior design but now that Amanda was here he hoped she won't mind. He kept it organized and clean, at least he didn't have to worry about that.

But Amanda didn't seem to care about the apartment, the moment the door closed she turned to him and pulled him towards her for a kiss. They declared their love for each other just the previous night but it felt so natural, she could see herself doing this everyday, walking into the living room and kissing him. But Amanda didn't stop at kissing, she jumped on him, wrapping her legs around his body so he'd take her to the bedroom.

Nick thought she'd want to have dinner but he didn't care if she wanted to do something else first. He carefully walked to the dark bedroom and had trouble finding the light switch, Amanda was nibbling on his neck and he was ready to pin her against the wall and forget about the bed. But finally he remembered where to find the damn switch and the room lit up. She moved to the bed and leaned on her forearms, smiling at him.

Nick got down on his knees and placed his palms on hers, he enjoyed staring into her eyes, seeing her daring look, Nick rewarded her with one of his own and moved his hands to her shoes, slowly taking them off, still staring at her.

Once her feet were bare he caressed them a bit, moving higher. He smiled as he reached to her fly. Nick raised a brow, she smiled at him and he took it as an approval to keep going. He started working on the zipper, his pace excruciatingly slow, Amanda felt like it's been hours until it was open.

Nick pulled her closer to the edge of the bed, kissed her lips again. There were so many things he wanted to say, but looking into her eyes it felt like she already knew.

Taking off the pants proved to be an easy task and Nick decided not to torture her much longer, but he wanted to go slower so he could explore her body. He was busy nibbling on her thigh when his fingers got inside of her underwear.

"Nick…" she moaned softly and Nick smiled against her skin. He lowered the cotton down her legs, rubbing the smooth skin once in a while.

Amanda was trying to control herself, Nick kneeling between her legs was an extremely arousing sight and she was trying very hard not to beg, she needed him to touch her, taste her. Just the thought made her a little dizzy and she thought she'd fall down.

Nick spread her legs and looked at her again, wanting her to see the lust in his eyes, how much he wanted her.

He was still looking at her when his fingers reached her opening, she let out a gasp and he caressed her again, slowly and softly. Nick let go of her and without a warning pulled her closer, she let out a surprised groan and couldn't breathe when Nick's mouth was on her, his tongue pushing into her.

"Oh damn" she muttered and closed her eyes, she had to hold on to the bed as Nick kept on going, he stopped only to move up and tease her clit, flickering it while his fingers entered her, caressing her wetness.

Amanda was trying to keep her eyes on him, he was moving enthusiastically, his tongue and fingers must have had magic in them.

"I'm so close Nick…" she muttered, out of breath.

He liked the sound of that and was going to get her there. His tongue moved faster, Amanda wasn't even sure what he was doing, she was struggling to stay upright and when Nick plunged his fingers into her and curved them again she wasn't sure of anything at all. She called his name as the climax took over her entire body and her head hit the mattress.

Nick still didn't let go of her body, couldn't get enough of her taste, her juices, her heat.

Finally he crawled on top of her, smiling at her blissful expression. He started taking his clothes off, throwing each garment on the floor. Amanda watched him getting undressed, her lips curved into a slight smile. She enjoyed looking as he slowly exposed his skin, his body was toned and she allowed her eyes to run up and down his chest, wanting so badly to touch it. But Nick was now busy with his pants and had to get off the bed to free himself of the fabric's confinement.

"You're still half dressed" he noted when he lay down next to her "want me to help you out?"

Amanda chuckled and let him pull her shirt off, he kissed her lips as he unclasped her bra but she took over when he let it fall on the bed. Amanda pushed him on the bed and let her lips travel all over his chest, her hands joined in as she wanted to feel and not just see him.

She could feel his erection against her and rubbed herself against it once in a while. She was back to his lips and let her hand rub him slowly as their tongues danced. She let go of his mouth just to playfully bite his lower lip, her hand was moving faster now and Nick had to catch her and turn them around.

"Amanda" he looked into her eyes "I have protection" he said, they weren't thinking about it the previous night, but they weren't really thinking then.

"I'm on the pill" she shook her head and raised her head to his lips "please get inside of me"

He looked into her eyes as he entered her body, feeling her heat surround him. It felt familiar but brand new. Nick had no doubt it will always be this way.

* * *

Eventually they had to eat and she put on one of his t shirts and followed him to the kitchen "I got us some Chinese food" he opened the fridge and took out a couple of containers.

"Sounds good" Amanda looked around as Nick placed the food in the microwave, wrapping his arms around her while they waited.

"You smell good" he mumbled, kissing her neck.

"I'm sweaty" she giggled when he sucked on a sensitive spot.

"My bad" his hands sneaked under the shirt but he had to let go, they had to eat first.

"Can I ask you something?" Amanda's eyes followed him as he walked to take the food out.

"Sure"

"Did you live here with her?"

Nick was taken aback by the question, he was almost upset that she asked, not because he didn't want to tell her, because he felt bad it happened.

"No" he turned to her.

"You've been married for long?"

"Too long, it was a mistake" he shrugged "we only did that because of the ba…"

"It's ok" Amanda knew what he was about to say, she didn't want to bring up the child he lost "let's talk about something else" she walked over to him.

"What about your friend, Alice? Are you two still in touch?" he happily changed the subject.

"Yeah" Amanda nodded "she's living in Alaska with Ben, you met him"

Nick nodded, he remembered the guy. He was glad they still talked, Alice mentioned Amanda had issues with long distance relationships, and Alaska was far.

But it's not like New York and Atlanta were close, she'll have to go back there soon and Nick wasn't thrilled about that.

"What about that cop? From Loganville" Nick thought he seemed to care about her.

"Oliver? He retired, bought a trailer and now he's traveling with his wife" she shrugged "I laughed at him, but maybe that's a good plan"

"How's the case going?" he poured the food into bowls and handed her the chopsticks.

"We have a few good leads" she let him know.

Nick smiled, he was hoping for a different reply, something like – it's gonna take a long time and I'll stay here with you until it's over.

They ate at the desk and Amanda insisted on helping him with the dishes "I see how tidy this place is, wouldn't want leave a mess"

"Worth it" he decided to accept her help and while she washed the bowls he took out the fortune cookies from the bag.

"Choose first" he handed her both once her hands were dry.

Amanda took one of them and they took out the small paper at the same time "what does yours say?" Amanda gave him a curious look.

"Love is right by your side" he smiled, thinking it was true.

Amanda chuckled and showed him hers "love is right by your side"

"Smart cookie" he took the paper from her and hanged both of them on his fridge.

* * *

"Amanda" Nick called, she got off the bed and was about to go to the kitchen to get a drink.

"Mmm?" she turned her head and smiled, loving the way he looked at her.

"Stay here" he said.

"I'm not gonna go back to the hotel in the middle of the night"

"I mean" he got up and moved closer "stay here, with me"

She gave him a puzzled look, where would she go?

"I mean in New York" he noticed she was still confused "or just say the word and I will move to Atlanta" he shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal.

"You want to move to Atlanta?" she asked.

"I want to be with you" Nick took her hands in his "if you feel like it, we can just quit our jobs and spend all of our time making love"

"That sounds good" she wanted to kiss him but he moved, not allowing her to do that.

"I mean it Amanda, I love you so much, I can't just go back to how it used to be, all those years I missed you, I know what you must think, but…"

Amanda placed her palm over his mouth "We'll talk about it at some point, right now I'm going to have a glass of water and have sex with you again, is that alright?" Amanda kept her hand on his mouth and he nodded.

She put on one of his shirts and walked to the kitchen. She was thirsty but now that she was out of the bedroom she almost forgot why she was there. Nick's words, wanting them to be together, it was what she wanted too. Amanda wasn't going to leave and act like nothing had happened.

But she had her career to think about, leaving wasn't that easy, even if Nick would be the one to leave.

Why couldn't things ever be simple for them?

Amanda took a deep breath and her eyes fell on the two pieces of paper attached to the fridge.

 _Love is right by your side._

If that's the fortune cookie's prediction, it has to be true, right?

* * *

 _right?_


	11. Chapter 11

"Why are you calling me on the phone Nick?" he could hear her smile "I expected a Skype call from you"

"My computer's stuck, sorry" he apologized "and I couldn't find you"

"What do you mean? I gave you my username" she chuckled.

"Well the computer is stuck anyway…so we're gonna have to talk on the phone, like in the old days" he could hear her walking and looking for something "what are you doing?"

"Putting some clothes on, I was planning to naked chat with you but since you have other plans…"

"Maybe I can fix it" Nick sounded excited.

"Oh! Now you want to fix it!" she chuckled "what are you doing?"

"Nothing really, I'm grabbing a drink with a few guys from the squad later" he rested his head on the couch "what about you?"

"Worked a double shift, I'm beat. Thought I'll go to bed after talking to you" she yawned.

"I don't want to keep you up, you sound tired" Nick said.

"Don't go yet, I miss you"

"I'll see you this weekend, we'll spend naked time then" Nick couldn't wait for that, he was dying to be with her.

"I love the sound of that" she took a deep breath "and I love you"

"I love you too Amanda, can't wait to see you"

He loved her but hated the long distance thing. She stayed in New York two more days and when they weren't at work they spent time together, Nick canceled plans with friends and with his mother so he could spend a few more hours with her. They first met in 1999 and it was 2005. Almost six years until they finally admitted they were in love and made that love.

But the case was closed. Amanda had to return and leave him.

They both knew this wasn't going to be easy, Nick had his career in New York and Amanda had hers in Atlanta. Transferring wasn't simple, especially not to a different state. So they had to make a choice.

The phone company was probably happy with the decision. With their busy schedules they could only fly for a visit once in two weeks, which meant that almost every other weekend either Nick or Amanda made their way to the airport. It wasn't enough, it wasn't easy, but it was worth it.

* * *

Nick had a huge smile on his face when he spotted Amanda at the airport. It was his first weekend in Atlanta and he was curios to see where she lived. In a way Nick felt like he knew her very well, but the truth was there were so many things he had no idea about.

"Hey" Amanda greeted him with a smile and a kiss, Nick didn't bother saying anything, he caught her lips and if it wasn't for a little girl who laughed when she walked by them, he could easily not let go.

"Come on, let's get out of here"

Amanda's apartment surprised Nick. There was a nice kitchen, even though he could tell she didn't use it much, a decent size living room and a big bedroom with a king size bed. He liked the bathroom, there was a large bathtub and he made a mental note to soak in it, preferably with Amanda next to him.

"It was Ben's place" she let him know "he used to live here before he graduated and he helped me get it, not bad, ha?"

"Not bad at all" he smiled at her.

* * *

He was right about the tub, he enjoyed sitting in the warm water with Amanda in front of him.

"What really happened to your computer?" she asked "Skype is not complicated"

"I don't know, I'm not a computer whiz like you are" he shrugged.

Amanda laughed and raised her leg, playfully pushing her foot against his chest "computer whiz…didn't you want to see my boobs?"

Nick grabbed her foot and moved it to his lips "I did, but I'd rather see them in reality and not on the screen" he let her foot go and moved closer, his lips touched her cheek and he smiled, allowing his fingers move to her breasts.

Amanda tilted her head back and raised her chest, wanting his lips on her, he caught a nipple between his lips and teased it with his teeth, eliciting a soft moan from her lightly parted lips.

Nick kissed her, entwining his tongue with hers, he couldn't get enough of her and he had to fly back to New York in a few hours. Saying goodbye was painful, and Nick wanted to take her with him.

"Let's get out of here" he mumbled, not sure he'd be able to move, to leave. Maybe he could stay here with her. He really meant it, if she'd want him to stay in Atlanta – he will.

But Amanda didn't ask him to do that. She wasn't sure about staying in Atlanta herself, she needed time to figure out what to do.

They slowly got out of the water and he didn't even hand her a towel, just carried her to the bedroom, not caring about the water dripping off of their bodies.

"I'm going to miss you" he said, planting kisses all over her lower abdomen "two weeks without you"

"It's gonna suck" she agreed, biting her lip "but…give me something to look forward to…" she arched her back when his tongue traveled lower, she was going to miss him so much.

* * *

Nick left Amanda a key to his place when he was in Atlanta, just in case. It ended up being a good call because he got stuck working and couldn't pick her up from the airport. She took a taxi and let Nick know she'd wait for him.

He smiled when he read the text. His coworkers knew he was seeing someone, he wasn't forthcoming with the details but everyone could see he was happy, something he hasn't been for years.

Amanda helped herself with food from the fridge and turned on the TV. The home cooked meal was tasty, it's been so long since she had a really good one. Her skills in that department were very narrow.

Amanda felt comfortable in his apartment, being there didn't feel awkward. She didn't even feel like a guest, she belonged.

The door opened and Nick walked in. He smiled at her but Amanda gave him a questioning look.

"What happened to you?" his clothes were muddy, he had some dry mud on his face and hands too.

"Foot chase gone wrong" he shrugged and walked towards her with a huge smile on his face "can I kiss you?"

Amanda grinned, the dirt didn't bother her and she let him plant a soft kiss on her lips.

"I'm gonna take a quick shower" he let her know and rushed to the bathroom, making out with her when he was muddy didn't feel right to him.

"Can I come in or is this a private party?" she opened the door a few minutes later and smiled looking at his naked form under the water.

She slowly took her clothes off and joined him, the mud was already washed away and Amanda wrapped her arms around him.

"I missed you so much" she looked up at him.

"I couldn't stop thinking about you" Nick smiled.

"Is that why you fell into the mud?" she chuckled, hoping he wasn't really thinking about her in the middle of a chase.

Nick shook his head and she kissed his chest, her hands moving to his butt cheeks, alternating between caressing the skin and squeezing it. She could feel him getting harder and moved her right hand to the front, gently stroking his growing member.

Nick moaned, her touch was so tender, so loving. He leaned against the wall and closed his eyes, letting himself immerse in the experience. Her lips moving all over his collarbone, his chest, how could anyone's lips feel so damn good? Nick let out another moan, the way she was touching him, she wanted to slowly bring him to the peak of pleasure, but she was in no hurry to get him there.

Amanda's movements grew bolder after a while and she could tell he was about to come. She wanted to see his face and thinking about it made her so excited she stroked him faster, her other hand closed around his balls and he groaned, not opening his eyes, knowing he was going to lose control any moment. Amanda put a bit of pressure and that was enough to send him over the edge.

Amanda watched him, not letting go as he softened in her hand.

Nick needed a moment to come down to earth, even though he could feel and hear the water, it was as if he was somewhere else. Amanda's hands on him had an unfamiliar effect on Nick.

"You ok?" Amanda asked and he nodded.

He opened his eyes and kissed her lips, there were no words to describe how he was feeling.

* * *

"You want something to eat?" Nick was starving and even though he wanted to take her to bed he had to eat first.

"I already ate" Amanda smiled "it was good"

"My mom made it" Nick turned the microwave on.

"What? And here I was thinking you're this incredible cook" Amanda said dramatically "my dream was crushed"

"I'm not that bad" he turned to her "I can make a few very tasty things with these hands" he raised them a bit.

"I'm gonna need to see a proof" she teased.

Nick nodded and took his food out, Amanda sat next to him "so who were you chasing?"

"A drug dealer" he said "he's gonna get to spend a few years behind bars"

"I'm proud of you" she grinned and he loved that she said it "how'd you even end up in Narcotics?"

"My instructor and I were on a scene and there was a kid there, Pedro, he told me about his brother, who was a dealer. I guess he kinda liked me" Nick shrugged "and I helped the detectives, stayed there ever since"

"I'm not surprised the boy liked you" she smiled "what happened to him?"

"Social services found him a good home and I've seen him a few times, he's doing great, going to school, working hard"

Amanda planted a kiss on his cheek, interrupting his chewing "you're a good guy Nick"

"Thank you" he swallowed the food "how about you? Homicide is not the easiest place to get in to"

Amanda gave him a light smile, she knew a lot of people were thinking the same thing, wondering who she slept with to get the job, but that was in no way true "there was this serial case and a professor from college was asked to help, he knew I was at the APD and asked me to join the team. Long story short we caught the guy and they offered me to stay"

"I'm not surprised, when I was in Atlanta I thought you're good at the job" Nick was done eating, he had something else to ask her about Atlanta.

"Amanda" he looked serious "I know about Kim"

She gave him a shocked look, how did he know?

Nick knew what she was thinking "your partner told my captain and she mentioned it, I just…I'm so sorry" he placed his palm over her hand.

"It wasn't exactly a big surprise" she let out a puff of air "overdose…we cremated her body and mom spread the ashes on our lawn"

"Amanda" Nick turned his entire body to her "I'm sorry" he repeated, it wasn't just for the loss of her sister, it was for the fact he wasn't there.

"It's ok" she smiled slightly, hoping they could change the subject.

"What about your mom?"

"I don't know, we're not speaking, she kept on blaming me for Kim's death and I just couldn't take it"

"I wish I could be there for you" he touched her cheek.

"You had your issues, it's fine"

"I'm sorry about that too" he was referring to his marriage "it was all a mistake"

"I know, you told me you got married because she was pregnant" Amanda shrugged "you don't owe me any explanations, it's fine"

Nick thought it wasn't fine, he didn't tell her everything, feeling ashamed of himself "I love you" he said.

"I know" Amanda gave him a quick kiss "and I love you too"

* * *

They made love and Amanda rested her head on his shoulder, playing with his chest hair. It was almost midnight and they both felt like time was slipping away. They only had Saturday and most of Sunday left, it wasn't enough.

Nick looked at her, she belonged with him, in his arms, by his side. He felt so content to be with her. It was perfect.

He wondered if she had any relationships before they got together, even though he got married he never felt anything. Did she feel something for anybody but him?

"You've been with anyone since we've met?" he took the plunge, needing to know.

"You want to know right now?" Amanda gave him a questioning look, they were naked in his bed. But he nodded so she replied "there was Thomas and there was Greg"

"Did you love them?" he felt a sting on jealousy.

"No" she shook her head, she never loved anyone but Nick.

"You love me?" he asked.

"Yes, you know I do"

Nick got on top of her and Amanda smiled when he looked into her eyes "did they make you feel good?"

Amanda knew what he was asking and she bit her lip, it wasn't a lie "not like you do"

Nick loved her answer and expressed his gratitude with a tender kiss. But Amanda had to find out something for herself, she was curios and he didn't want to give her a lot of details on the matter. Amanda turned them around and gave him a serious look, he tried to reach her hair but she caught his hand.

"What was her name?"

Nick knew he couldn't keep the information to himself forever "Amanda" he whispered.

"Yes?" she asked, thinking he was trying to change the subject.

"That's her name"

"Amanda?" she squinted, not sure if he was serious but Nick nodded "so you like that name then?" she moved closer but didn't let him kiss her.

"I'd love you even if your name was…Alberta"

Amanda let out a short laugh "I like that name" she kissed him, sucking on his lower lip a little "if I have a daughter, I'm gonna call her Alberta"

Amanda sat up a bit and Nick followed her, caressing her back "no" he shook his head.

"No?" her fingers ran through his hair.

"As the future father of your children I am not letting you call any of them Alberta" Nick meant it and she could see it in his eyes.

Amanda wasn't sure how to react, she felt a tingle in her stomach, she couldn't think of a snarky comeback. She kept on staring into his brown eyes, not sure what to think. This was way too soon, but the thought of having a baby with Nick…it made her feel warm.

Amanda smiled at him and caught his lips with hers, he tangled his fingers in her hair and held her close as the kiss heated. He wasn't feeling uncomfortable about what he said, he felt sure of it. He was going to spend the rest of his life with her.

* * *

"My mom wants to meet you" Nick let her know, they were sitting on his couch, watching a program on TV. Nick couldn't deny something was going on and told his mother about Amanda.

"She wants to meet me?" Amanda asked, it's been almost two months, wasn't this too soon?

"Yeah" he nodded "she promised to make something good for dinner"

"Eh…" she always felt uncomfortable with families, but she loved Nick, and she loved his mom's cooking, maybe it won't be too bad.

"Amanda?" Nick noticed she was lost in thoughts "it's ok if you don't feel like it…" he didn't want to pressure her.

"No" she shook her head "it's fine, if there's good food involved I'm in"

Nick gave her a quick kiss "so we'll have dinner with her tomorrow"

"I hope she's not like my mom" she joked but Nick gave her a worried look.

"She's not" he said "she's nice and she's gonna love you"

"You think?"

"Yeah, my mom's gonna love you. She's a good person and she knows I love you"

"You two are close, ha?" Amanda looked at him.

"You could say that. I really appreciate her, she tried to give me a normal childhood, because my dad wasn't a very _loving_ guy" Nick knew Amanda didn't have it easy growing up, at least he had his mother, unlike her.

Amanda waited for him to continue, he hasn't told her much about his family, he spoke about his mother sometimes, never mentioned a dad.

"He was…violent" Nick wasn't sure how to say it, knowing Amanda's father was far from being an example for good parenting "his hobby was hitting her, she always told me to go to my room so I wouldn't see, but I had ears and he didn't spare me…when he left we moved here and things were finally normal"

"Have you seen him again?" she asked softly.

"A few times" he shrugged "he came by, I don't really know what he wanted from us"

"We're just lucky, aren't we?" she chuckled, thinking they both had messed up families.

"We are" he moved closer and brushed up against her lips "because we are going to make it right"

Amanda kissed him, letting her tongue explore his mouth. She wanted to be closer to him and pulled his head to hers. Nick wrapped his arms around her and carefully stood up, not letting go of her lips. They got to the bedroom and quickly discarded of their clothes.

"You're perfect" he whispered as she stood completely bare in front of him.

"You're kinda hot yourself" she gave him a daring look. No matter how many times she felt him, it was never enough.

Nick caught her in his arms and lowered her on to the bed, smiling at her. His lips were on hers again and he slowly moved to her neck. He loved taking things slow with her, exploring her body, making her come before he even entered her. But right now he couldn't wait, had to burry himself inside her. She spread her legs and they looked into the other's eyes as he plunged into her depths.

Nick caught her wrists, pinning her down and slowly moved inside her "say something" he whispered.

"You want me to…" his thrust forced her to gasp "talk dirty to you?"

"No" he shook his head.

"Want me to keep it clean?" she moaned again.

He nodded and smiled, he loved it when she cursed, asked him to fuck her, but right now he needed something else.

"I love you" she complied and he rewarded her with a thrust.

"Say something else" he moved with more force, eliciting another moan, her eyes rolled back and Amanda felt like she was losing control.

"I need you Nick" her voice cracked when she felt him again and again "I can't breathe without you"

His glare was focused on her, the shut eyes, the hitched breath, what she was saying. He loved her so much.

Nick's thrusts got faster and deeper, he still kept her in place and focused on her face.

"Don't stop loving me" she panted, not far from climax.

"Never" he said.

Amanda's fingers clenched into fists and she tried to look at him when she felt the orgasm take over her. Nick tried to hold on, watch her. But it was too late and he pumped into her until he was completely empty.

"I'm never gonna stop loving you" he let her hands go but not pulling out of her. He was never going to stop loving her.

* * *

Nick opened the door and they walked into the living room "mom?" they were a little early.

"Nicky?" Cesaria emerged from the other room "you're already here?"

"Hey mom" he gave her a kiss "come meet Amanda"

Cesaria smiled at him, when Nick first mentioned her name she was a little surprised but Nick just said it's a common name.

"Hi" Amanda smiled, feeling very self conscious "I'm Amanda Rollins"

She extended her hand but the other woman shook her head and pulled her into a hug "if you're the woman who's responsible for the smile on my son's face you deserve more than a hand shake"

Nick smiled at the sight and Amanda's expression, she was clearly taken aback, but his mother was an affectionate person and he knew she'd love Amanda.

"Tell me about yourself querida" Cesaria led them to the dining table. Nick already told her some facts and made her promise not to ask about her family, he said it was complicated.

"I'm a detective in Atlanta" Amanda sat down and Nick sat right next to her.

"Nick told me, what do you do in your spare time?"

"I don't really have much of that" Amanda smiled shyly.

"Just like Nicky. Why don't I bring the food" Cesaria walked to the kitchen.

"I'll help you out mom" Nick tenderly squeezed Amanda's shoulder and followed his mother to the kitchen.

Amanda noticed there were photographs spread out in the living room, the one that caught her eye was probably taken when he was five, he was dressed in a black tuxedo, had a small bow tie. His hair was combed and he had a huge smile on his face. She thought he looked adorable.

"I know you like my arroz con pollo" Cesaria returned "so I made that and a few salads"

Nick placed a few bowls on the table.

"It is good" Amanda nodded and was about to grab a bowl when she noticed Cesaria giving Nick a stern look.

"Let me" he said and put a few spoons of food on her plate.

"You're the guest querida, let Nicky take care of you" his mother smiled.

Nick thought he'd love to take care of Amanda for the rest of his life, but he wasn't going to say anything.

"How did you two meet?"

Nick and Amanda exchanged a look, not sure what to say, the truth felt too complicated.

"Work" Nick finally said.

"Yeah, I was here for work" Amanda nodded and took a small bite "it is so good"

"Do you like cooking Amanda?"

"I'm not very good" she sounded apologetic.

"Next time you're here you should come over and I will give you a few lessons, arroz con pollo is really simple"

Amanda wasn't sure what to say and Nick decided to jump in "maybe, but she's not here a lot" he poured himself a glass of water.

Amanda offered to help with the dishes when they were done but Cesaria gave her another stern look and Nick cleared the table, leaving them alone.

"You know" Cesaria lowered her voice "I haven't seen Nick so happy for a very long time, and now...he can't wipe the smile off his face. I really want to thank you for making my son happy"

"He's making me happy" she answered honsetly and glanced at him as he was cleaning up.

They didnt stay long after that, Cesaria told her a few stories about Nick and Amanda promised herself to laugh at him a little when they'll be back at his place.

"Told you she'd love you" Nick gave her a quick kiss when they left..

"Your mom's great" she smiled and opened the car's door "and you were so cute"

"Were?"

"I saw the picture of you in that tux, how old were you? Five?"

"Oh" Nick knew what she was talking about "I was five, we were going to a wedding"

"You looked so handsome, and that adorable smile" she grinned at him.

"You mean this one?" he tried to imitate it and Amanda laughed.

* * *

It's been a few months and not much has changed. They were seeing each other once in two weeks, talking on the phone and Amanda helped him with the computer so they could see each other on the screen, it wasn't the real thing but he loved seeing her face, her body.

It wasn't ideal but they were doing the best with what they had.

"You're gonna have a drink with us tonight or are you going to fly to your girlfriend Amaro?" Kramer asked Nick.

"Sure, I'll join you" he said "I'm not going anywhere" Amanda had to work and her friend, Alice, was in Atlanta for a visit, so Nick knew she won't have much time to talk to him. He tried to call her earlier but she didn't pick up.

His phone buzzed and he hoped it was her, but he didn't recognize the number or the voice on the other line.

"Amaro" Nick answered.

"Nick?" a woman asked.

"Yes"

"This is Alice, I don't know if you remember me…"

"Amanda's friend, what's going on?" Nick wondered why she was calling him. He liked her when they met, she seemed to really care about Amanda. But her tone was tense.

"Listen, Nick. Amanda's been arrested"

"WHAT?" he got up from the chair, eliciting a few questioning looks from his coworkers "what are you talking about?"

"They arrested her for the murder of Carl Patton"


	12. Chapter 12

_I just want to say that I'm totally making up all the legal stuff, I always research some things when I write (I just found out there are no conjugal visits in Georgia) but it's just a fic so I'm taking a lot of liberties with the judicial system._

* * *

Carl Patton was one of the only subjects that didn't come up in their conversations. They talked more about work, their families, almost everything but him. Nick was curios, he wanted to know what happened after he left, he hoped so badly the guy never hurt her, never lay a finger on her. But he never asked, not wanting to bring up the painful memory of the night that pulled them apart.

"They arrested her for the murder of Carl Patton" Alice said and Nick wasn't sure what to think "Nick?"

"I'm here" he walked from his desk, needing some privacy "what happened?"

"I don't know everything, I saw her yesterday and she was fine. But she called me a few hours ago, they arrested her, I already got her a good lawyer and I'm gonna bail her out but you have to get here, she asked me to call you"

"Alright, I'm gonna book a flight and…"

"Call me, I'll pick you up from the airport"

Nick hung up, the conversation seemed like a bad dream, how could this happen? Amanda was arrested for murder? He rushed to the captain's office.

"I have an emergency, I have to go away for a few days, I can't say much now cause I don't know…" he wasn't sure what to say, how to explain it. Even with the pieces of information he gave her, Berg could see it all over his face, he looked terrible and she told him to leave but keep in touch. He drove to his apartment and packed a bag while he called and booked a ticket. He texted Alice the details and she let him know she'd wait for him there. Nick's movements were automatic, he wasn't really thinking, all he wanted was to see her, hold her. What was going on?

* * *

"Nick!" Alice called him and he ran to her.

"Tell me everything" he said as they walked to her car, the hours felt like days and he had to make sure Amanda was alright "when did this happen?" he talked to her yesterday, she didn't mention a thing.

"I didn't even know he's dead until she called me" Alice started.

"Wait a second" Nick was confused "when did he die?"

"I don't know"

"What do you mean?" he needed her to start from the beginning "what happened after I left?"

"I'm not even sure what happened between all of you that night" she looked at him, she never got much information about the event that occurred "Amanda was really quiet and upset, Carl stayed away from her as far as I know. But after summer vacation he didn't come back to school. We all knew he was flunking so it didn't surprise anyone, and most people weren't bothered or upset about it, and now he's dead"

Nick needed to see her "where is she?"

"I got her a good lawyer, one she absolutely hates, I already posted the bail and he's gonna take her home"

"They let her out?" he was surprised.

"Tried no to, but this lawyer is good, Amanda once told me they can't stand him, we'll be at her place soon"

Alice parked the car and Nick jumped out of it and rushed to her floor. He spotted her at the entrance, standing next to a man, the lawyer probably.

"Amanda" he said and ran to her, wrapping his arms around her, she looked both numb and angry.

"I take it this is the boyfriend" the lawyer said when Nick pulled away, he noticed the front door was open and there was a man walking around in the apartment, it was messier than usual and he figured someone went through it.

"Nick Amaro" he introduced himself.

"Isaiah Washington" the lawyer shook his hand and the man walked out of the apartment.

"It's clean" he let them know "no bugs, you can speak freely"

"Thank you" Washington nodded at him and he left "the locksmith will be here in a few minutes to change the locks"

Alice joined them and she hugged Amanda.

"I didn't do it" she looked at Nick and then at the lawyer.

"That's nice, but it doesn't really matter" he said "and you won't say anything else to your friends here, ok?" he looked at Alice and at Nick "I'm your lawyer and we're best friends from now on detective"

"Yeah, ok" she mumbled, looking around, the drawers were open and there were so many things on the floor.

"I'll clean it up, ok?" Nick touched her shoulder, he could tell it bothered her.

"Good idea" the lawyer nodded and saw the locksmith walking towards the door "I will take the detective to my office where we will talk about everything"

"I'll take care of the clothes, start here, ok?" Alice walked to the bedroom when the locksmith was done and Amanda and the lawyer took off.

Nick nodded and started picking stuff up. He couldn't even imagine how she was feeling, someone went through everything in her apartment, touched her things, her clothes. Alice made a good decision washing everything. They were done a few hours later and waited for Amanda to get back.

"I know it's not the right time to say this" Alice sat down, the place has never been so clean "but I'm glad you're back together, I had a feeling you two are meant to be"

"Me too" he smiled, he was glad Amanda asked Alice to call him, wanted him to be there for her.

The door opened and Amanda walked in, her expression was still the same, a mixture of anger and numbness.

"Hey" Nick got up and embraced her tightly.

"How about I get us something to eat?" Alice offered. She wanted to give them some time alone.

"Alice" Amanda turned to her "I don't know how to thank you, I can't pay you back…"

"Shut up, that's not a problem" she grabbed her purse and walked away.

"Come here" Nick wrapped his arms around her again. It wasn't time for words, he needed her to know he was there.

"Nick" she had tears in her eyes "I didn't do it"

"I believe you, I'm here, ok?" he held her tighter.

"Thank you" she pulled away after a few moments and looked into his eyes.

"What happened?" he asked quietly, touching her arm.

"I'm not even sure" she shrugged and walked to the couch, she noticed everything was in place "I was working and then…the lieutenant called me. He was in his office…"

"He?" Nick figured there was another person in that room.

"Chief Patton" she whispered "Carl's uncle. He arrested me…I didn't do it…and, I called Alice, I needed her help, asked her to call you"

"I'm here" he grabbed her hand "whatever it is, I'm not leaving you alone, whatever happens" Amanda rested her head against his chest and Nick caressed her back. They remained like that for a while, Nick had a feeling this is what she needed right now, he'd ask her more questions later.

A knock on the door interrupted them and Amanda pulled herself away from him to open the door for her friend.

She showered while Nick and Alice set the table as if everything was normal, old friends who met up for dinner.

"So you two are detectives" Alice tried to lighten the mood "I think it's kind of cute. I'm glad you're together after all this time"

"So are we" Nick smiled at Amanda, but she just nodded "how's Alaska?"

"I like it" Alice said "it's home now. Ben and I are doing great, we have twins, a son and a daughter, Henry and Jane"

"I'm glad to hear that" Nick glanced at Amanda, she was chewing slowly and dragging her fork on the plate.

Alice looked at her too and Amanda raised her head, feeling two pairs of eyes staring at her "what?" she asked.

"I was just telling Nick about my kids"

"Yeah, they are cute" Amanda nodded and put her fork on the plate "I'm gonna go to bed" she stood up and was about to take her dishes to the sink.

"I'll do it" Nick took it from her "go rest"

"You're the guest" she tried to protest.

"No, I'm not" he looked into her eyes, he wasn't a guest in her life "come on"

"OK, thanks Nick" she said and walked to the bedroom.

"The lawyer is really good Nick" Alice could see how concerned he was "and she didn't do it so I'm sure it will work out" she helped him clear the table and left the apartment.

Nick washed the dishes, thinking about what Alice just said, it made sense, an innocent person won't be convicted…but Nick was a detective for a few years, he knew how these things worked, knew that justice was not always served.

Amanda was lying under the blanket and he tried to change his clothes quietly, not to wake her up.

"Hey" she said and he noticed she wasn't asleep.

"Amanda" he joined her under the covers and she moved closer to him "it's going to be ok, try to catch some sleep" he hugged her "we'll talk more tomorrow"

* * *

Amanda didn't get a lot of sleep, she tossed and turned the entire night and Nick kept on waking up because of her movements, he tried to sooth her. She felt guilty for waking him up and ended up moving to the other side of the bed.

When morning came he noticed her eyes were a bit red from the lack of sleep. He made her coffee while she was in the bathroom and was greeted with a smile when she walked into the kitchen.

"Thanks Nick" she grabbed the mug.

"I'll go get groceries later" Nick opened the fridge, it was empty, only a couple of eggs and a few pieces of stale bread. When he came over for the weekend Amanda used to buy things so he could cook for her.

"Yeah" she shrugged.

"Amanda, do you want to tell me what you can?" the lawyer told her not to talk, but she could probably tell him some of the details "do you know when he died?"

"They think it's been a few years, they found his body in a construction site a few days ago, I don't know anything else. But Nick, I didn't do it"

"I know" he leaned closer "I know. And we will figure this out, you have a good lawyer, he got you bail…"

"He's a good lawyer" she shrugged "the prosecutors hate him, but it doesn't make me look less guilty"

"It doesn't matter, as long as you're cleared, who cares what anyone thinks?"

"I care, the people in the department care. Have you seen the car outside?" she asked.

"What car?"

"They have a vehicle here, to follow me, make sure I'm not going anywhere interesting. I can't leave the city…even if Washington finds a loop, I'm not coming back to work, everyone thinks I killed him"

"We'll figure it out" he promised.

Amanda shrugged and didn't feel like finishing the coffee, she poured it into the sink and washed the mug. Her phone rang and she answered.

"Yeah?" she answered "ok, I'll be ready"

"What is it?" Nick asked.

"The lawyer, they want to question me, so he's gonna be here soon and brief me…I already know what he's going to say – plead the fifth"

"Do what he says" he patted her back "and tell him to give us everything he has, we need to check it out ourselves"

"What?" she asked.

"The best way to fight this is with the evidence, find the real killer and if we can't do that – we will find a proof you didn't do it"

"Yeah, you're right" Amanda smiled and walked over to kiss him "thanks Nick"

"I love you" he moved a stray hair behind her ear and kissed her forehead.

* * *

"How are you doing?" Isaiah Washington walked into the apartment. It was clear he wasn't used to defending anyone who's been living in a small place like that.

"I've been better" she shrugged and gestured on the couch "you want something to drink?"

"No, thank you" he sat down. Nick joined them and the other man gave him a questioning look "you realize I need to talk to her alone"

"He can stay" Amanda said.

"I'm sure you're ok with it" Washington looked at her "but he can't listen in, not now"

"I can help" Nick offered "leave us everything you have, I want to check it out"

"Fine, I'll give you what the DA has" he made sure it was fine with Amanda "but you still can't stay"

"Ok" Nick stood up, he walked to the bedroom and grabbed his things. It was an opportunity for him to go get groceries for them. He walked to a nearby store and wondered what they were talking about. Why all the secrecy?

Amanda said she didn't kill him. He believed her, he had no doubt she was innocent. So what couldn't he hear? What couldn't she tell him?

As he walked through the aisles with the cart Nick tried to figure it out. Alice said he stayed away from her, but what if he didn't? The thought horrified Nick, the fact that this guy may have done something to her. If he wasn't already dead Nick could kill the guy himself.

Amanda wasn't there when he returned, she left a note saying she was going to be at the station. They were going to question her.

Their time together was usually so pleasurable, they'd go out to eat, watch something on TV, they could spend hours in bed, just lying there, being close to each other. Ever since they got together things between them were so good. His mother was right, he was smiling most of the time, even though he was missing her a lot.

Seeing her like that hurt Nick, he wanted to do more, to make her feel better, fix the problem. But this one wasn't easy.

Nick placed the groceries in the fridge and turned on the TV. He didn't even realize he was tired when he closed his eyes. Maybe he didn't get enough sleep too.

* * *

Nick woke up when a bizarre sound came from the TV, it was a music video and he rushed to turn it off. The bathroom was lit and he realized Amanda was already back, she must have let him sleep.

Nick knocked on the door and heard a quiet come in.

"Hey" he walked into the room and sat on the edge of the tub, letting his fingers touch the water to make sure it was warm. Amanda was looking a little pale and he didn't like it "you ok?"

She shrugged and he caressed her cheek, feeling her tilt her head into his head. A tear ran down her cheek and Nick stepped into the water, making some of it spill on the floor.

"It's gonna be fine" he looked into her eyes "we will figure it out, I promise"

Amanda nodded, not looking very convinced. She chuckled and Nick gave her a questioning look "you're completely dressed in the bath"

"No shoes" he raised a foot and leaned back "this is not that bad, maybe I'm gonna do this again"

"Very funny" her fingers tickled his feet "maybe this is a new way to shower, something you brought from New York"

"A real time saver" he smiled at her.

"You have anywhere else to be?" Amanda kept her hand on his foot.

"Only here, with you" he replied softly.

"No work?"

"I'm in no hurry" he let the captain know he had to stay away for a while, he was glad his boss was supportive He figured Amanda didn't have that, her lieutenant asked her to come to work a few days after her sister's death and now...

"The water's getting cold" she mumbled, letting go of his foot.

"I'll leave you to it" Nick got up, his clothes were completely soaked and he grabbed a towel.

Nick changed his clothes and decided to cook something for them.

"Need help?" Amanda walked into the kitchen.

"You sure you want to? A source let me know you are not too good in this field" he grinned at her.

"Very funny" she crossed her arms "come on, I don't want to be rude"

"If you insist" he placed his hand on the small of her back and kissed her lips. He loved kissing her, loved the way her lips felt against his. Nick allowed himself to kiss her again, caressing her back. He was about to deepen the kiss when Amanda pulled away.

"What can I do?" she moved to the counter and gave him an apologetic look, feeling bad for pushing him away "I'm sorry, I'm just not in the mood"

"Don't worry about it" Nick smiled.

* * *

"I brought the file" she let him know when they had dinner "it has the coroner's report, some evidence"

"It can't be enough to charge you" he got up to go through it quickly.

Amanda chuckled and Nick sat back down "you know, I don't think they care, they just want to charge me"

"Even someone straight out of law school could handle this" Nick was pretty sure of it "and your lawyer is far from it"

"I thought so too" she shrugged "but…"

She went quiet for a couple of minutes and Nick gave her a questioning look "but?"

"Do you remember asking me how I got to homicide?" she placed her fork down and he nodded "I really thought that I was doing a good job, that what I did mattered"

"I'm sure it did" his words didn't seem to help.

"But it wasn't like that, Chief Patton and the lieutenant are good friends and that's why I'm there, he wanted to keep an eye on me…"

"Amanda, what are you talking about?" Nick wasn't sure what to say, why would he do that?

"At least this is a proof I didn't sleep with anyone to get the job" she stood up and placed the half full plate on the counter.

"I…" Nick followed her, staying close "you didn't do it and we will prove it, we will find something, and I'm going to be here with you, ok?"

Amanda nodded and tried to smile at him "thank you Nick, I love you" she wrapped her arms around him and Nick pulled her closer.

"I love you, and I am here"

* * *

Nick walked out of the apartment to get some air. He hated seeing Amanda like this, he could tell she was keeping something from him but he wasn't sure if he should push or not. Was she really placed in homicide just so they could keep tabs on her?

Nick didn't want to think that, he didn't want to believe someone would do something like that to her.

He meant what he said about helping out, she wasn't alone.

"Hey!" Nick heard a voice and turned to see a man standing there, he wasn't wearing uniform but seemed too young to be a chief "you Amaro, right?"

"Who's asking?"

"A friend" the man took a few steps towards him.

"What makes you a friend?" Nick had a bad feeling about him.

"I have a friendly advice Amaro" he said.

"I don't think I need it, thanks" Nick wanted to go back inside. He wasn't afraid of this guy but the last thing he wanted was more trouble.

"I'm gonna give it to you anyway" the man looked up and then back at Nick "you should go back to New York"

"What?" Nick didn't blink "is that a threat?"

"As I said" the man turned away "just a friendly advice"


	13. Chapter 13

Nick read the coroner's report. Carl Patton was killed in the summer of 2000, a few months after _that_ night. He was found buried at a construction site, the cause of death was a blunt force trauma, he had a broken nose, his ribs were in a terrible state, someone beat him to death. They found a blonde hair on the body, the DNA test proved it was Amanda's. They had some statements from witnesses, schoolmates. He recognized the name Ashley, they went to her party.

This didn't seem like enough. They had DNA evidence, but a single hair?

Nick had no idea what to think and gave her a puzzled look when he was done.

"Well?" she was staring as he read.

"What does the lawyer say?"

"He knows it's weak but it's been years so…that's their excuse" she let him know.

"But he has investigators, I'm sure he's going to talk to everyone on the list" there was a name missing, his "what about me?"

"What about you?"

"You know what I'm talking about, the night I left Atlanta, it was a few months before…"

"Are you saying you killed him?" Amanda said a bit harshly "let's tell everyone how I hit a guy with a pipe, that will do a lot for my case"

"Maybe not, but…"

"Look Nick, I just…" she shrugged "I wanna go to bed"

"I'll join you in a few minutes, ok?" he wanted to do something first. He didn't mention the man he met outside, Amanda would ask him to leave and there was no way he'd do that now.

She didn't reply and shut the door behind her. Nick waited a few minutes before reaching for his phone and dialing.

"Amaro, nice to know you're still alive" the captain answered.

"I need your help captain" he said, it was time to tell her the truth, or most of it, he wasn't going to be able to handle this by himself.

"What is it?"

"Do you remember detective Rollins?" he kept his voice low, not wanting Amanda to hear the conversation.

"From Atlanta, right?" she replied after a few seconds.

"Yes, well, she's the one I've been seeing" he confessed.

She was silent for a few moments "alright, and?" his relationships weren't really her business as long as it wasn't interfering with his work, and all this time he's been with this secret girlfriend of his, he was doing a great job.

"It's a long story" he didn't want to tell her everything at this moment "but, she's being charged with something and she's innocent, I have no doubt of that…but the problem is that the people who want her behind bars have power, we're talking about a chief and…"

"What is she being charged with?"

"Murder" he couldn't believe he used this word, how could it happen?

"Murder?" captain Berg coughed, she did not expect that "are you saying that a chief is trying to frame one of his detectives for murder?"

"Listen, I was outside and someone told me to go back to New York, this is not exactly a good sign. I need your help, I'll send you what I have and maybe you could double check it…she didn't kill anyone"

"I don't appreciate it when someone threatens a member of my squad so I will look into it, send me what you have tomorrow"

"Thanks captain"

"But Amaro, I can't promise anything"

"I want the truth, that's all" the captain was always fair, she cared about her detectives, but if they made a mistake she had no problem scolding them. Nick knew he could trust her.

He hung up and walked to the bedroom. She was under the covers and Nick joined her.

"Who were you talking to?" Amanda asked.

"My captain" he hoped she didn't hear everything, especially not the part about the threat.

"Oh" Amanda turned to him and he smiled.

"She's gonna help out, with the report"

"Thanks" she rested her head on his chest and took a deep breath "tell me something good"

"Something good?" Nick wrapped his arm around her, he wasn't sure what she wanted him to talk about.

"Like that cute photo, the one with that bow tie, when you were five" her hand moved on his chest a little.

"That one?" he smiled "ok. We were going to this wedding. My mom's cousin I think. I was the ring bearer"

"Yeah?" Amanda looked at him.

"Yes, and I took it very seriously" he let her know "walked with a pillow around the house, I put toys on it and tried not to drop them"

"That must have been so cute" she could picture five year old Nick doing that.

She asked for something good, so Nick left the part where his dad got annoyed and hit him with the pillow.

"The wedding day arrived and I was excited, I felt like it was the most important job…I was in charge of the most important part"

"Did you screw it up?" she raised her brows.

"You will soon find out" he smiled "I was dressed, my mom combed my hair, took that picture, and we waited at the church, they gave me the pillow and I was waiting, the groom was already at the altar" he paused for a second and she gave him a pleading look "they gave me the ring and I was so excited. The flower girl started walking and I was right next to her and they sent us down the aisle. She threw all of her flowers the moment we walked in and she was upset. So she took the ring and threw it away"

"She threw it away?"

"Threw it away, with the pillow" Amanda laughed "and I was standing there…everyone were staring at us…"

"Oh, were you sad?" Amanda caressed his chest.

"I walked to the altar with tears and I told the priest I was sorry, it was my responsibility to deliver it safely"

"Poor baby"

"They found the ring quickly and the wedding continued…" he pulled her a little closer and gave her a quick peck "so I didn't ruin it, but I refused to talk to that girl the whole night"

Amanda rested her head on the pillow and Nick looked at her "how about you tell me a story? A good one"

She stared at the ceiling for a few seconds without saying a word. She turned her back to him, wanting Nick to spoon her, his touch made her feel better. He was a good thing in her life.

"I love you" she said once his chest was against her back.

"I love you too" Nick was afraid she'd push him away, but it seemed like Amanda wanted him to be close to her. He didn't care about the man's warning, he wasn't leaving.

* * *

When Nick opened his eyes Amanda wasn't in bed, he remembered her walking out of the bedroom in the middle of the night but he must have fallen back to sleep before she got back, if she even did that.

"Good morning" Nick said, she was lying on the couch, watching TV "when did you get up?"

"I just couldn't fall asleep so I stayed here" she shrugged and turned her attention back to the screen "watched this thing the whole night and it's official…I'm a terrible detective"

"What?"

"I couldn't figure out who was the killer once!" she got up and made herself a cup of coffee.

"That's the official exam…" Nick chuckled and gave her a peck on the cheek "I missed waking up next to you"

"It's not like we do that a lot anyway" she felt bad about saying it, not wanting to make Nick feel bad. He flew over to Atlanta, said he'd stay with her, believed her. He loved her. Amanda placed her mug on the counter and wrapped her arms around his body, leaning her forehead against his back.

The gesture made Nick smile, one day they will get to do that, they will wake up together almost every morning. No more long distance, no more missing one another.

"You have a meeting with the lawyer today?" Nick turned around and she grabbed her coffee.

"Yeah, I have to be there in a few hours" she let him know.

"Can I go with you? I need to send a copy of the report to my captain" the sooner she gets it the better.

"Sure, if you want to"

"But I can't listen to what you're talking about…" Nick hoped she'd give him a hint.

"It's just in case they want you to testify" she shrugged.

"If testifying helps your case…"

"I don't think so" she shook her head and turned away.

Nick watched her as she took a piece of bread and was about to take a bite "let's make breakfast" he offered, Amanda had lousy breakfast habits but when they spent the mornings together he usually cooked them something. Not that he was very talented at the kitchen, but he was better than her.

"I'm not really hungry" she finished chewing "I'm gonna take a shower"

Nick took a step towards her and caressed her cheek "want me to join you?"

"Not this time, ok?" she shook her head "sorry"

She walked to the bathroom and closed the door behind her. Nick wasn't sure what to think, Amanda wasn't pushing him away. She hugged him, wanted his presence. But there was still something, he hoped he was wrong, maybe it was his imagination, his worries. Maybe it was the fact he knew she was keeping something from him, but he was going to trust her.

Nick ate a sandwich and smiled when she emerged, wearing nothing but the towel. Amanda walked straight to the bedroom. He loved inhaling her after she had a shower, he'd pull her to him and burry his nose in her hair.

Nick gave her a few minutes to get dressed before walking into the bedroom.

"You had a healthy breakfast?" she smiled at him.

"Very healthy" he nodded, looking at her, she was about to straighten her hair "don't do that" he asked.

"Do what?"

"Your hair" he sat down next to her "I love it when it curls up a little" he moved some of it behind her shoulder.

"Fine" she let her hair be, it's not like she had work.

"You still owe me a story" he let her know, caressing her back "last night I told you one, now it's your turn"

"How about I tell you how I met this guy and six years later…" Amanda looked into his eyes.

"I'd love to hear about him more, but I want something else, something I don't know yet" he placed his hand on hers.

"What makes you think I'm talking about you? Where do you think I'm going when I'm not spending the weekend in New York?"

"Very funny" Nick gave her a serious look, she told him things about her family, but they were often generic. Nick knew her dad was a gambler, her mom didn't care much. He wanted to hear something more personal.

"Fine" she nodded "I'll tell you a story" she leaned against the headboard and Nick followed, looking curious.

"When I was eight my dad got me a bike, I was so excited about it…he kinda forgot I had no idea how to ride and I fell a couple of times but…I told him I can't ride so he taught me how and then…I learned"

"That's a good one, you should turn this into a book" she was really skimpy on the details so he decided to probe "you liked riding that bike?"

"I guess" she shrugged "I sold it for twenty bucks after a few months"

"Really? What did you buy with the money?"

"I gave it to my dad, he complained about needing money so I tried to help out, that's the whole story…good enough?"

"Would have been if he hadn't needed money because of gambling" Nick's reply earned him an angry stare and he felt bad "I mean…" but he said exactly what he meant. She told him about her father's gambling but hearing that she gave up something she loved for that upset Nick.

"Yeah well…that's my good story, sorry you didn't like it" she stood up, a bit pissed.

"I'm sorry" he walked after her and this time he was embraced her. He could smell her shampoo and allowed himself to linger, kissing the back of her head.

"Don't worry about it" she turned around in his arms and gave him a quick kiss "it's just a crazy time right now and I don't know…" she shrugged "but I'm glad you're here"

"I love that you want me to be here" his fingers played with her hair and he suddenly stopped moving and stared at it.

"Nick?" Amanda looked at him with a confused expression "you don't have a bizarre fetish with my hair, right?"

Nick didn't hear her, he ran his fingers through her hair a few more times and abruptly let go of her, quickly walking to the living room.

"Nick?" Amanda followed him.

"Your hair" he opened the file "look at this" he pointed at the report "your hair was shorter in 2000, it's been five years…this can't be a hair from then"

Amanda took a few steps to him and looked at the page in his hand, he was right. They faked the evidence, it was a single hair, they could have gotten in from her chair.

"I'll show this to Washington, they must have..." she grazed her hair.

"It's a good thing Amanda, they can't deny it, the judge won't let them use it and they will drop the charges"

Amanda smiled widely, grabbing his hand and kissing it "thank god you love my hair"

"I love you" he grabbed her in his arms "it won't take long, you'll be free of all of this and…" he wasn't sure about the future, he wanted her to move to New York and leave everything behind. He put her down and kissed her soft lips, his heart was overflowing with joy. Things were going to work out.

* * *

Nick still decided to send the report to his captain, she sent him a text wondering why he was delaying. He used the fax machine to send her the information and waited while Amanda spoke to the lawyer.

Washington had a fancy office and Nick felt out of place. Amanda told him he was a famous lawyer it Atlanta, defended a lot of rich and guilty people. She was lucky Alice could afford to pay him, he had no idea what she and her husband were doing, but they cared enough about Amanda to pay her bail and the legal fees.

But they won't be needing his help anymore, not with what they had.

The lawyer told them he'd call the judge and let them know as soon as he gets an answer.

"How about we grab a pizza?" Nick offered, he was hungry and knew she had to be too. They had a few hours to burn so food seemed like a good idea.

"Yeah, ok" Amanda led him to a place not far from Washington's office, but she could barely eat, took a couple of bites and placed it back on the plate.

"Not that good?" he asked.

"I just can't, I'm too tense" she stood up and he smiled.

"Let's go back, he must have an answer for us by now" even though it hasn't been that long, he wanted to know just as much as she did.

* * *

Washington's secretary led them to his office and made Amanda a cup of coffee "he's gonna be here in a few minutes, he's on his way back from the courthouse" she left the door open and returned to her seat.

"What are you thinking about?" he noticed she was staring at the mug, a slight smile on her lips.

Amanda raised her eyes and met his "how I'm going to miss my bathtub when I move to New York"

"Yeah?" he couldn't control his own grin "you're moving in with me?"

"Well, you still haven't asked but…"

"I'm asking now, move in with me" he placed his hand on her knee.

This wasn't how they planed this, but her career in Atlanta was over no matter what, she had nothing waiting for her in Georgia. Nick was in New York, and she wanted to be with him. He was a good thing in her life.

"Ok" she nodded and placed her palm on his.

"Now I'm gonna make you breakfast every morning"

"I already agreed" she laughed "you don't have to sell it"

She took a sip of the coffee and Nick smiled "you're gonna miss the coffee, won't you?"

"It's so good" she nodded "I love it"

This wasn't the first time Amanda allowed herself to imagine a life in New York with Nick. But this was it, she was going to leave and live happily ever after. It wasn't going to be a fairytale ending, she wasn't kidding herself, but she really loved him. They were going to be happy.

"Sorry you had to wait" Washington walked into the office and sat down, Nick and Amanda exchanged a look, he wasn't smiling.

"Well, Ms. Rollins" he took a deep breath "I'm afraid I have some bad news"

Amanda looked concerned and placed the coffee on the edge of the table.

"What?" Nick asked.

"I let the judge and DA know about this and the prosecutor returned and explained there was a typo on the report…that the length of the hair is shorter"

"A typo?" Amanda stood up, knocking the cup down, the hot liquid spilling on her "fuck..."

"You're ok?" Nick tried to reach for her but she didn't let him touch her.

"What happened?" Amanda didn't seem to care about the pain and just looked at the lawyer.

"The judge will not disqualify the DNA evidence" Washington said "the trial will proceed as planed"

"That makes no sense" Nick raised his voice.

"No, it doesn't" the other man nodded "let me tell you, I've tried my entire arsenal but the judge…"

"They must have cut it then" Amanda sat back down "I…"

"This is not our last word, I'm going to pile them with paper work until they will not be able to breath. But the thing is, Ms. Rollins, they want you to go down for this, no matter what"

* * *

 _This is my favorite story, even though it doesn't get much love. But I will finish it the way I planned, so for those of you who do enjoy it, there are still few more chapters left._


	14. Chapter 14

Neither one of them said a thing. Amanda was driving back to her place, feeling like her plans were disintegrating, she wasn't going to move in with Nick, wasn't going to have a normal life, wasn't going to be happy. She spotted the vehicle that was tailing them, this wasn't going to end.

Worst of all, she could see Nick, the way he tried to hide his disappointment, the way he had no idea what to say to her.

She parked the car and they silently walked upstairs. He entwined his fingers with hers, Nick had no words to make her feel better, there were none. But he needed her to know it changed nothing about how he felt.

"I'm going to bed" she mumbled once they were inside and didn't wait for his response.  
Nick checked his phone, the captain let him know she gave the coroner's report to the medical examiner and will keep him informed.

"Hey" Nick walked to the bedroom to share the information with Amanda, it was something, Nick couldn't just accept the fact nothing mattered.

She was lying in bed, facing the wall "hey"

"Can I get you something?" he asked.

"I'm gonna try to sleep" she whispered.

"Ok, I'm gonna give you some time alone" he could feel she needed it and walked back to the other room. But Nick had to do something, he couldn't just sit and wait. Someone had to know something. He left her a note saying he'd be back soon and left. The officers parked outside noticed him but since he was alone they didn't follow him. He wanted to go over there and give them a piece of his mind, why were they doing this?

Nick took a taxi to the station. He wasn't going to cause a scene but looking at it made him feel like he wasn't just waiting. A few minutes later he noticed someone he recognized walking out, detective Bates. He seemed to care about Amanda, when they all worked on that case. Bates told the lieutenant that maybe they shouldn't call Amanda because her sister just died.

Nick followed him for some time, he had to make sure no one would see them.

"Bates!" Nick called when he felt they were safe.

The man turned around but wasn't too happy to see Nick.

"I think you remember me" Nick walked towards him.

"What do you want?" Bates looked around a bit.

"I want you to tell me what the hell is going on? We both know Amanda didn't kill anyone, but it seems like your department wants nothing more than to pin it on her"

"I don't know what you're talking about Amaro" the man said.

"When her sister died you cared, do you really think she's guilty?"

"When you were here I didn't know you two had a thing" Bates was about to turn away.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Nick asked "she's your partner! How can you just let them do this?"

"You have no idea what you're talking about, ok? You better let it go"

"Let it go? She didn't do it! Why is she being punished?" Nick shouted.

"I have to go…"

"I was wrong about you" Nick shook his head "I thought you're a good guy, but maybe you're the worst. You'll just watch, maybe get a promotion, what kind of a man are you?"

"I'm leaving" Bates didn't answer Nick's question.

"Tell that guy who came to see me last night that I am _not_ leaving"

Amanda didn't have anyone in the department. She's been working there for a few years and still…but she had him.

It was time for Nick to return to her, they will figure it out together. He was about to get a cab when he noticed a coffee shop with tasty looking doughnuts. Amanda loved those so he decided to buy a box, sugar makes people happy even when they don't have much to be happy about.

He was standing in line when he noticed something on the wall, a real blast from the past.

"Sir?" the woman at the counter asked.

"Yes, I'd like a box of doughnuts" he said "and do you maybe have another flyer?" he pointed at it.

"Yeah, I think we have a few more in the back, I'll go get you one" she seemed surprised but gladly handed him a flyer and a box full of doughnuts.

* * *

Amanda was still in bed when he returned. He placed the box on the counter and crawled to bed next to her, spooning her and waking her up.

"Nick?" she mumbled.

"You were expecting anyone else?" he joked "I have something for you"

"Really?" she turned around and Nick felt bad, maybe she thought he had something about the case.

"Look at this" he took the flyer from his pocket.

"What is it?"

"Check it out" he handed it to her and watched as she read.

"The Dancing Kites?" Amanda looked at him.

"Live in Atlanta" he smiled. When he saw it on the wall Nick had to show it to her. After all, they missed their concert once "it's tonight, how about we go?"

"Nick…" she wanted to protest.

"Come on" he caressed her cheek "we already missed them once, let's not do that again"

"Fine" she said and Nick gave her a quick kiss.

"And I also brought you doughnuts" he let her know.

"You're too good to me"

It's not that he was very happy to see this band, they weren't too good in 99. But what he wanted was to go out with Amanda, distract her, let her think about something else for a while.

"You look great" Nick smiled when she walked to the living room and kissed her.

"I always do" she grinned and reaches for her car keys "or maybe we should ask my chaperones for a ride?"

"We are not thinking about them tonight" he shook his head and opened the door.

As they drove off the other vehicle followed them but they ignored it, tried to remember the lyrics of the one song they did hear that night.

"It was something with being right and wrong…" she laughed.

"I hope they sing it tonight" he looked at her.

"Me too"

Lucky was on their side for this one - that was the first song of the night.

" _And if you think you're right – you are not – you're_ _wrong"_ _ _Amanda sang with them.__

 _ _Nick wasn't surprised the place wasn't packed, they weren't good back then and not much has changed. But they didn't care, for a while it felt like they traveled back in time, they were in Miami again. Nick's arms were around her and they swayed to the rhythm until they started playing a slow song and he turned her around so she faced him.__

 _" _Can I have this dance?" he didn't give her a chance to decline and pressed her body to his, her cheek was against his chest and he kissed the top of her head.__

The show ended too soon and they drove back to her place "I had fun" she kicked her shoes off when they walked inside the apartment.

"Me too" Nick's hand grazed her lower back "you know, this band brought us together"

Amanda turned to him "I guess they kinda did…we can't tell anyone about it!"

"But what if Alberta asks?"

Amanda was confused for a moment, who was this Alberta and why would she care? But Nick chuckled and then she remembered their conversation a few months ago "I though you didn't want to call your daughter Alberta"

Nick placed his hands on her waist "if you really love that name" he kissed her lips "we will call our daughter Alberta and we can call the others Albert, Albertina, Alberto…" he wanted to plant kisses down her neck but wasn't sure she wanted him to.

"That sounds like a lot of children Nick" she was breathing a little heavier and Nick caressed her cheek.

"We can have as many as you want" he was looking straight into her eyes, the most beautiful shade of blue he's ever seen.

Amanda's eyes traveled to his lips and she felt entranced by him, he was looking at her with so much love it was making her feel a strange sense of warmth, as if she was surrounded by an invisible halo, keeping her safe.

She wondered if he felt the same. Yes, he loved her but did he feel safe with her? Did he feel like when he was next to her things were a little better, or that they will get better? She really hoped he did.

Amanda grabbed his hand and pulled him after her to the bedroom. Once they were inside she gave him a tiny smile and started unbuttoning his shirt. He thought about helping her but Nick felt like she wanted to do this, he kept his eyes on her as she worked on the buttons. She looked at him almost as if this was their first time, as if she's never seen him naked before. She took the shirt off and pulled the undershirt off of him. Her lips caught his skin, tasting it, nibbling on it. Her hands were on his back, holding him closer.

Nick just watched her, enjoyed the way she was treating him, the way her tongue and lips felt against him. He wanted more but at the same time he wanted this to continue just the same, to feel her touch him, kiss him forever.

She was taking her time, giving every part of his upper body her attention, her love. Amanda looked up at him and unzipped his jeans, her hand getting inside his boxers, feeling him grow under her touch.

"Amanda" he called her name and pulled her in for a fervent kiss. Her hand was still on him but the fire in her core forced her to stop moving, she had to get rid of her clothes and pulled away so she could take the dress off.

She took his right hand and placed it over her breast so he could cup it.

"I love it when you touch me" she whimpered.

"I love touching you" Nick moved his hand to the bare back and kissed her deeply, not being able to take it slow.

He was dying to feel her lips, her tongue "Lie down" he forced himself to pull away, his voice sounded like it was made of pure desire.

Amanda wanted his hands on her again and did what he asked, Nick's lips went straight to her breasts, kissing the skin and nibbling on the nipples.

Amanda let out a sigh, allowing herself to get a little vocal, Nick always had an incredible effect on her, she knew how much he enjoyed hearing it.

Nick quickly discarded his boxers and removed her underwear too. He grabbed her foot, planting soft kisses all over it while his fingers moved on her calf, his touch was so light it was barely there. He placed her foot on the mattress and she spread her legs, dying for him to get his mouth and tongue between them.

Nick looked at her, needing a moment to collect his thoughts, not that he was going to think about anything, all he wanted was to get as much of her as possible. Make her call his name over and over again.

With that picture in mind Nick dove in between her thighs, his tongue plunging into her wetness, eliciting a cry from her. He was almost intoxicated by her, moved his tongue to her clit, making her gasp. He placed two fingers right by her opening and slowly thrust them into her. He moved the fingers in and out slowly for a while, all of his senses taking part of the experience, his saw her shut eyes, heard her moans, touched her body, smelled her, tasted her.

"Oh Nick…thisfeelssogood, please" he thought he heard her mutter something else and decided to give her what she wanted and curled his fingers inside of her, reaching a spot he knew very well will make her lose control. Just like Nick predicted, Amanda's back arched and his name was heard clearly in the room. He kept going, his fingers inside of her, his tongue on her. He could feel her climax, her fingers clenched around the sheet, pulling it off the mattress, her body shook under him and he slowed down, but didn't let her go, needing to make her come again.

This time Nick didn't start slowly, he was teasing her clit with his teeth and tongue while thrusting his fingers harder and harder. She wasn't even able to catch her breath before another orgasm took over her.

Now Nick allowed her to calm down, he kissed her abdomen, her breasts, her neck until he got to her mouth.

He gave her a few soft kisses "turn around"

The command got Amanda so much more excited and she did as he ordered, getting on her knees. Nick knew he won't be able to take it slow so he didn't bother, he pushed into her, grunting as he felt how wet she was, how her muscles clenched around him. His thrusts were quick and deep, he felt her move against him, felt his orgasm building up.

The sheet was moving with them, uncovering the mattress underneath. But they couldn't care less, focused only on the pleasure that was about to tear through them.

Amanda was so sensitive she was the first one there, the climax washed all over her and she could barely hold herself up.

Nick caught her with one arm, pressing her into him even more, he was right on the edge and wanted to come inside of her. He gave her another thrust and fell over the edge, letting Amanda's body fall on the bed with him on top of her.

Nick felt a bit dizzy and it took him a moment to see straight. He rolled on his back and looked at her.

"Nick…" she laid her head on the pillow, coming down of this mind blowing experience "you're freaking amazing"

"Thank you" he smiled and placed his palm on her stomach "any time"

"You're not ready now" she squeezed his balls playfully and he grunted.

"Damn Amanda I…have a feeling you could use a few minutes" he grabbed her hand and kissed it, turning his body to her, capturing her lips for another kiss, a slow one this time. They took their time, caressing each other's body, their tongues softly teasing one another. It felt like as long as they stayed like this, time would not move, everything would stay the same, no complications, just their love.

"I feel like having another doughnut" she said in between pecks "want me to get you one?"

"Yeah" he nodded and followed her with his eyes as she walked out of the room. She was back quickly, a doughnut in each hand.

"I was kinda hoping this was a sex thing" he sat up and took one from her "do you want a doughnut?" tried to use a sexy tone, but it only made her giggle.

"Sorry" she sat down in front of him and took a bite of the sweet dough. They finished the doughnuts and Nick lay back down, watching her. Amanda licked her fingers and rested her head by Nicks feet, laying hers by his.

Nick noticed she was staring at the ceiling and tickled her toes "what are you thinking about?" he asked.

"Just…what jail's like" she replied quietly, she knew enough to know it wasn't something she wanted to experience.

"Hey" he planted a kiss on her foot "don't think about that"

"I can't help it, I'm just scared, what if…"

"Amanda" Nick moved to her, kissing her lips and looked into her eyes "you're not going to jail, I promise"

"You can't promise that" she said.

"I can promise that I will do whatever I can to make sure you don't spend a day behind bars, and if, somehow, it happens, I will find a way to get you out of there"

"I will miss this" she touched his back.

"We'll have conjugal visits" he offered.

"We're not married"

"Then we will get married"

"That must be the saddest proposal ever" Amanda said quietly, but Nick could think of a sadder one he made years ago "they don't allow them in Georgia anyway so…let's not talk about that anymore, ok?"

Nick nodded "no matter what happens, I love you"

She smiled and brushed her lips against his, she didn't want more than this slight touch "I love you too"

"How about we go to sleep?" Amanda nodded and covered them with the blanket, she kissed Nick's back and moved her chest closer, clinging to his body.

* * *

They were woken up by Nick's phone, and he was glad to have Amanda's arms around him

"I better take it" he said.

"Put some pants on" she said "I don't want you to talk to anyone but me when you're naked"

"You're the jealous type, ha?" he gave her a quick kiss, put on pants like she asked and rushed to the living room.

"Good morning Amaro" it was the captain "I have some news for you"

"I hope it's better than the news we got yesterday, the DNA, the hair, it was planted"

"So she's out of the woods?" Berg asked.

"Even deeper" he chuckled "the lawyer wanted them to disqualify it, because it's clearly from now and not from 2000, but they argued it was a typo in the report, the judge sided with that"

"You have got to be kidding me"

"I wish, do you have anything?" he hoped she did.

"I spoke to the coroner, Dr. Melinda Warner, she looked at it and she thinks something's off. She couldn't be sure without examining the body herself, but she doesn't thinks he was beaten to death. It seems like he was ran over by a car"

"Why lie about it?" Nick asked, Amanda owned a car, a crappy one.

"She thinks it could have been a pickup truck, but again, can't prove it"

Now it made sense, they didn't want to say he was ran over by a truck when Amanda didn't have one.

"There's something else I need to tell you, more like ask you" Berg continued.

"What is it?"

* * *

Nick walked back to the bedroom after he hung up. Amanda was getting dressed and she smiled at him. The gesture could easily make Nick forget everything, he'd love to spent his entire life just staring at her smile, he didn't care if it would be creepy.

"Who was it?" she asked.

"The captain" he let her know and took a few steps towards her "Amanda, why didn't you tell me?"


	15. Chapter 15

"Tell you what?" Amanda crossed her arms.

"My captain called to tell me about the autopsy report, I'll tell you about it later" he kept on staring at her, he tried to figure out if she knew what he was talking about, but her expression didn't give him much, she looked concerned but why? "Then she told me about how she asked someone else to take a look. You remember captain Weiss, from homicide, you met him when you were in New York"

"Nick" she knew where this was going and seemed relieved.

"Why didn't you tell me you talked to him about a transfer?" he asked.

"I wanted to see what it would take, it's not exactly easy" she shrugged "I didn't want to get your hopes, or mine, up"

"So what happened?"

"He wanted a recommendation from the lieutenant so I talked to him and…" she turned away from Nick.

"Don't tell me they suddenly found Patton's body after that" Amanda just shrugged and Nick knew that this is exactly what happened. Their relationship complicated things for her, they thought she was going to move to New York and built this weak case against her. It may have been weak, but everyone, including the judge apparently, wanted to put her away. He couldn't think of a reason why.

"You don't have to worry about getting my hopes up" Nick sat on the bed "I would have been so happy to hear about it"

Amanda sat down next to him "I kinda wanted to surprise you, if I got the transfer, I was going to show up at your place in the middle of the week"

Nick smiled at her "it would have been a nice surprise"

"I wanted things to be normal" she rested her head on his shoulder "now it's so much worse"

"They will be" Nick hoped so, he wanted it to be so.

"I'm gonna head out" her cheek was still on him "jog a bit, I don't want to sit here the whole day"

"Want company?" Nick offered, running wasn't his thing, but he wouldn't mind joining her.

"Nah" she stood up "you're not gonna be able to keep up, how about you take care of breakfast"

"We both know you're gonna have the last doughnut" he raised his brows.

"I guess you're right" she was about to leave the room "thanks for last night Nick, I needed that" she was talking about both parts.

Nick left the room a few minutes later, he could see her run down the street from the kitchen window. Not surprisingly the car was not far behind and Nick sighed.

He was about to make himself something to eat when there was a knock. It couldn't have been Alice, she flew back to Atlanta the previous day, the lawyer wouldn't show up without calling first.

Nick wondered whether he should have brought his gun. After all, he was overstaying his welcome, at least that's what some people in the APD would think.

Through the peephole Nick saw it was Bates, maybe their little talk worked, maybe he was there to help Amanda. He opened the door.

"I brought her things, cleared her desk" the detective shoved a small box into Nick's hands and walked away before Nick could say anything.

What did he expect? The man didn't want to help when he was asked, what would make him change his mind? Nick looked inside the box, just a few pens, papers, takeout menus. There was a snowglob with a small snowman inside. She took it from his apartment the last time she was there.

He remembered her snooping around in his place and found it on a shelf, hidden behind a book, he had no idea where he got it from and why it was there. Unlike his mother Nick didn't keep too much memorabilia, the snowglob didn't seem important so he was about to throw it away when Amanda stepped in. He told her she could have it. He liked the fact she had something of his at work, that every time her eyes would fall on it she'd think of him. But now it was in his hands again and she was…

"What's that?" he heard her voice, she cut the jog short, it was uncomfortable and she couldn't clear her head.

"Bates brought your stuff over" he looked at the box "sorry"

Amanda shrugged and went through some of the things, she threw away all of the menus and the papers, she scribbled on them once in a while, but it was nothing important.

"That's not mine" she picked up a pen.

"Maybe it was on your desk, it's just a pen"

"I better bring it back, or I'm a thief" she chuckled and looked at it. It seemed familiar and Amanda asked herself why she got that feeling about a pen, maybe she was officially losing her mind?

"It's that mic pen" she remembered and looked at Nick "why would he…" Amanda searched for the button that played the recording and pushed it.

There were a few background noises but then she recognized the lieutenant's voice.

"What do you want Bates?"

"I just…wondered about this whole Rollins things"

Pause

"What were you wondering exactly?"

"How could I not see who she really was"

"Close the door Bates"

Another pause

"I know you two were partners, but she is not a goody two-shoes like she tried to act. She killed a man, someone with a bright future. She tried to hide it…that is why she tried to work here, so she could see what we know"

"Her boyfriend was here and he…"

"She'll suck anyone's dick to make him believe her. Rollins is nothing more than a bitch, she's pretty, but that's all she's got going for her. We both know that all those cases she worked on, you did the important stuff. Women like that…they don't belong here"

"Woman like what?"

"I think you have work Bates, and don't worry about the boyfriend, he will be back in New York in no time"

The room went quiet and Amanda looked at the pen "you went to see Bates?"

"I just had to ask him, I hoped he'd be on your side" Nick realized he was still holding the snowglob.

This didn't prove anything, maybe Bates thought it would help, thought he could get something. But the lieutenant was careful, he said crude things, but it didn't make a difference.

"I'm not going back to New York" he sat down next to her, softly touching her back.

"This is not going to get better" she looked at him "Washington called me, the trial's in two weeks and I'm gonna go see him soon"

"I have something about the autopsy report, the coroner in New York thinks he wasn't beaten"

"Really?" there was something in her eyes, but it was gone so fast Nick couldn't define it.

"She thinks he was ran over, maybe by a truck, and I know what kind of car you were driving back then" Nick smiled a bit.

"But she can't prove it, not after all this time. It's her word against his, we already know who the judge will believe"

"Not the jury" he tried to sound convincing.

"Yeah, that's gonna be just great" she chuckled "I'm gonna take a bath, won't get to have those in jail, wanna go with me? Won't have you in prison…"

"I'd love to join you" Nick caressed her cheek "but let's not talk about prison anymore, alright?"

* * *

"I'm gonna miss this" Amanda said quietly. Her back was resting against Nick's chest and his hands were on her stomach.

"I thought we had a deal" he thought they weren't going to bring this up again.

"I mean in New York" she turned her head to him "I'm thinking positive, no tub at your place"

"But I'm at my place, that has to count for something" his right hand moved lower and his fingers traced circles on her thigh.

"It does" she smiled "I love you"

"I love you" Nick's left hand climbed to her right breast "and I'm going to do everything I can to make you not miss this bathtub"

"Yeah? Cause it feels like I'm gonna have some great memories" she slowly stroked his erection.

Nick's fingers moved to her opening and she spread her legs so he'd have room. He found her clit and was rewarded with a moan.

"This is doing the trick" Amanda kept on moving her hand on his member while his fingers moved inside of her. Nick pinched her nipple, eliciting an approving moan.

"Want to move this to…"

"Keep going and I won't stop" she closed her eyes and tried to focus, give Nick what he's been giving to her.

"Please don't" Nick always loved the way she touched him and this time wasn't different.

"Nick" she hissed when he pinched her a bit harder this time, his fingers caressing her wetness. She trembled and muttered a few curses when she climaxed but didn't stop rubbing him, bringing him closer and closer to his release.

"Do you like that?" she turned her body to him and whispered into his ear.

"Yes" he groaned "I love everything you do to me"

Amanda caught his lower lips with hers and smiled as he came under her hand "damn Nick, you're hot"

She carefully stood up, keeping her eyes on him as she stepped out of the tub, wrapping a towel around her body.

"Don't block the view" Nick got out of the bathtub and wrapped his arms around her, taking the towel off and nuzzling her neck.

"I gotta go soon" she pulled away "but I'll let you look at me later"

"I'm gonna hold you to that" he winked and planted a peck on her cheek.

* * *

Nick decided to call Berg again, he wanted her to listen to the recording, he already told her about the threat.

She picked up right away and he placed the phone by the pen.

"Nice to know the lieutenant's such a nice guy" Nick knew how much she hated when people spoke like that, as if being a man gave you a right to say whatever you want.

"I don't like this Nick, I think you should return"

"I can't leave her, I have enough time off I didn't use…" he was surprised she thought he had to leave.

"I mean with her" she said "if you're being threatened, followed…it's clear something fishy is going on"

"But she can't leave, she had to surrender her passport and she has to stay in Atlanta" he would love to just fly away from there, but not without her.

"Actually, I think there's a way. I spoke to the DA already and we can say she's a material witness, get a warrant"

"I don't know if that would work"

"Look Amaro, if you think it's worth it, and it seems to me it does…we'll help with that"

"Thank you, I'll call her" maybe it won't help the case, but no one would follow her every move in New York and if they manage with that, maybe the APD would ease up, knowing there are people behind her, not just Nick.

* * *

"Welcome home" Nick opened the door for her.

"I am so happy to be here" Amanda walked into his apartment.

It wasn't easy, took a lot of persuading from the DAs office in New York and Amanda's lawyer, but the judge allowed her to leave, he felt like they didn't leave him a choice.

"I'm so glad that you're here" he pulled her in for a kiss "don't ever leave"

"Thank you" she looked into his eyes "you've been amazing and I'm…sorry…"

"You have nothing to be sorry about, now that you're here we will be able to calm down, handle this better, I'll be back to work and see what I can find out. We'll figure it out and then you will move in permanently and…" Amanda's lips interrupted the sentence, she kissed him with so much fire and need everything else didn't matter. He picked her up and carried her to the bedroom.

"Sometimes it doesn't seem real, that you're here with me" he caressed her bare abdomen "that night in Miami…"

"We were so responsible" Amanda chuckled, remembering how they only slept together that night "if we wouldn't have been and did have sex, I bet I'd end up getting pregnant and…a few years later we'd meet somehow and…" she smiled at him "surprise, you have a kid you didn't know about"

"That sounds like a bad soap opera" he gave her a kiss, thinking that was a terrible storyline.

"What if we wouldn't have met that night? I wouldn't be in you bed right now" she planted a few kisses on his collar bone.

"You know what, I think that even if that night wouldn't have happen, we would have met anyway, I don't know how or where. Maybe we'd end up working together. But we'd meet and fall in love. Don't forget that this is what the cookies predicted, I have the proof on my fridge"

"Love is right by your side" she remembered.

"It is" Nick smiled.

* * *

Nick had to return to work and he left Amanda alone. He knew that going to the station won't be easy, everyone will have a lot of questions. But he could trust his squad, they would stand by his side.

The fact she was able to get away to New York must have affected the case in Atlanta, the lawyer called and let her know they offered a deal. But fifteen years in prison wasn't something to cheer about. He didn't want her to spend a single day in jail. They were going to have a good life together.

A few hours after Nick had left Amanda felt a little lonely, the last days have been insane but he was there, with her and for her.

Now that she was in New York she could walk around without anyone tailing her. She strolled for almost an hour, stopped to get a hot dog and lay on the grass at a park, watching the sky. She felt almost free. Except for the whole murder charge.

"Amanda?" she heard someone call her name when she was on her way back and turned around, surprised to see the person walking over to her.

"Querida!" it was Nick's mom.

"Hey" Amanda figured she had no idea about what's been going on and that was a very good thing.

"Nicky didn't tell me you're here" Cesaria was holding a large paper bag but still gave Amanda a hug "you took some time off for a visit?"

"Something like that" Amanda nodded and reached for the bag "let me help you with that"

"Thank you querida, is Nicky here?"

"He's working" Amanda replied.

"When you're on vacation?" Cesaria shook her head in disappointment "that's not very considerate, but he's a good guy"

"I know he is" Amanda smiled, Nick has been nothing but considerate "you did a good job raising him" they both started walking and Amanda guessed she was going back to her place.

"Nick was born good, he was a quiet baby and such a sweet little boy" she seemed sad for a moment and Amanda knew she must have been blaming herself for not leaving Nick's father.

"If you have time I can give you that cooking lesson I offered" Cesaria smiled "only if you want to"

"Eh…" but Amanda didn't really have anything better to do, she hated not working and now that Nick was at the station she had nothing to do "ok"

"I'm gonna show you how to make Nicky's favorite"

* * *

Cesaria was a good instructor, she didn't just show her how to make it, she told her how Nick would ask her to make it all of the time when they just moved to New York.

"I got a little tired eating it everyday, but Nicky would ask for Asopao Criollo de Pollo no matter what. It's still his favorite"

"I think I'm going to leave the cooking for the experts" Amanda smiled "I'll help with the dishes"

"You don't have to do that, you're my guest"

"I'd love to, I'm responsible for most of the mess anyway" it wasn't even complicated, yet she managed to leave so many dishes dirty.

"I'm happy I got the chance to show you, his ex wife…" Cesaria realized what she said and stopped talking, she gave Amanda an apologetic look, she had no idea what Nick had told her about that.

"It's ok" Amanda said "I know he was married"

"Oh, I didn't want to say anything I shouldn't have"

"You didn't, Nick told me everything" Amanda reassured her, it wasn't entirely true, Nick didn't talk much about their relationship, she didn't even know how they met. But Amanda decided not to ask, she trusted Nick and if he didn't want to talk about it – it was fine with her.

"Good, keeping secrets is not a good way to start your life together. I know they've been together for a long time but I don't think they really loved each other, he never looked at her the way he looks at you" Cesaria gave her a knowing look.

Amanda's lips curved into a small smile. Nick said that he didn't love that woman, but hearing it from someone else, a person who had such a big part in his life, it made it feel even more real. She wished someone would say something similar to Nick, reassure him that she never felt anything even remotely close for anyone else.

Her phone buzzed and Amanda smiled when she saw Nick's name "hey babe" she answered.

"You're ok? I came back home and you're not here"

"I am at your mom's" she didn't even text him she was there "she showed me how to make this thing with rice"

"Asopao Criollo de Pollo?"

"Yes, that" she chuckled, she should have tried harder when she took Spanish, but she always loved hearing Nick speak that language, so maybe she could practice.

"I'll be there soon" he said goodbye and Amanda placed the phone on the desk.

* * *

"Hello Nicky" Cesaria greeted him with a kiss.

"How are you feeling mom?"

"I'm fine, had a nice time with Amanda" she let her son know "hope you're hungry"

He smiled and walked over to the dining table, Amanda was almost done setting the table "Hey" he placed his palm on her lower back and she turned her head for a quick kiss.

"Glad you're here" she grazed his hand "I'm hungry"

They had a nice time and Amanda got to hear a few more funny stories about Nick. She threw him a few smiles, she loved hearing about his childhood, loved finding out things about him.

"We're gonna head back home ma, thanks for the food" he finished with the dishes.

"You need to thank Amanda, she's the one who cooked"

"I mostly poured things into the pot"

"Thank you anyway" Nick gave her a kiss and Cesaria gave each of them a hug.

"I think I already said this, but I like your mom" Amanda sat down in the car.

"She loves you, I'm glad you got to spend time with her"

Amanda nodded, she felt comfortable with the woman, she wasn't judgmental, she cared about her son and she cared about her, even though she wasn't family.

"Just don't expect me to cook this for you"

"What I want from you" he gave her a serious look "is to love me"

"You already got that babe"

* * *

Nick had to go back to work so he dropped Amanda off at his place and promised to be back soon. She was jealous, she missed working and knew she was a good detective, sitting at home doing nothing was a waste of time. The only calls she got were from the lawyer, and he never had good news.

Just when she thought about him – he called.

"Yeah?" Amanda wasn't hopeful, she walked to the kitchen to pour herself a glass of water.

Nick returned home earlier than he thought and it could be a nice surprise for her. He opened the door quietly and walked inside, she didn't seem to notice. Amanda was on the phone, her back was turned to him and she was holding a glass in the other hand.

"So your investigator couldn't find a footage?...I know it's been five years but…yeah, no, I haven't told anyone…I know the broken nose isn't helping…it's my ass on the line, you think I don't know that? You don't think I get how fucked up this is? Yeah, I remember I'm the one who broke Patton's nose and beat him up…" she turned to go back to the couch and saw Nick, from his expression Amanda knew he heard her.


	16. Chapter 16

"Call me when you have something" Amanda hung up, Nick was looking at her as if she was a completely different person.

"Hey" he took his jacket off and hanged it on the rack. He clearly had no idea what to say, he had no idea what to think. Did she say she beat him up? Broke his nose? The coroner's report mentioned he had a broken nose. But Amanda said she didn't kill him, so what happened?

"Nick" she walked over to him. He never doubted her, stood by her side, made her promises and she was keeping something from him. Something important.

"I…" he realized this is why the lawyer insisted on talking to her alone, whatever happened to Patton, she had something to do with it. But Amanda said she didn't kill him, he still believed her "I didn't hear anything" he was about to walk to the bedroom when she caught his arm.

"Sit down, I'm gonna tell you everything"

* * *

 **Summer of 2000**

* * *

Amanda wasn't religious, but right now she was praying to god, asking him or her or them to help the car get her to Loganville. She was driving this useless piece of crap, but it was very late and she had no choice, her mother called, Kim was acting out again.

But her prayers have not been answered, she was over an hour away when the car started making bizarre noises. Amanda asked herself how something so old could make a new sound every time it broke down.

And it was the worst place to be stuck at, right by a crappy gas station, there was nobody inside and Amanda couldn't get a signal on her phone so there was no way for her to call anyone.

"Fuck you" Amanda screamed at the car and kicked it until her foot hurt. Last time it happened Nick gave her a ride. Nick, why was she thinking about this guy? He was just like everyone else. Sure, Alice thought it was romantic that he found her but he just wanted to sleep with her, maybe he did make a bet with his pals, the ones he was with in Miami. Maybe it was a bet and since he didn't sleep with her that night…he showed up to finish the task.

She wasn't surprised, it was just like her to meet someone who cared about a bet more than he cared about her.

She was glad he left, hoped he had to do something extremely embarrassing for losing, something like going to work naked. She could almost see him, walking into the station with no clothes on. Lucky for his coworkers, his body was pretty incredible, he was masculine and strong, the way he touched and kissed her…

But he was a jerk, why was she thinking about his body? She had to forget him. So what if Alice didn't think so, so what if she said she was calling his name in her sleep. She probably dreamt it, maybe she liked him, maybe Ben had something to worry about.

She didn't care about Nick, didn't think about him at all.

But Amanda couldn't sit and wait, hitchhiking wasn't a very good idea, she wasn't stupid. It seemed like her only option was to walk until she gets a signal and call someone.

Amanda was about to open the door to get her bag when a car pulled by hers. It didn't make her feel good, why would someone park behind her car and not drive into the gas station?

"My darling Amanda" it was Carl Patton, what was he doing there? He's been keeping his distance lately.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"I was driving around and saw you're in trouble, how about you get into my car and I will take you wherever you want" he slowly walked over to her, his hands in his pockets. He spoke as if he really just drove by, but Amanda knew very well he had no reason to be there, he must have followed her.

"No thank you" she said harshly, hoping it would be enough, but hope failed her before and she had a feeling it would now.

"Come on, it's late and I can't leave a lovely lady like you in the middle of the road all alone, it isn't safe"

"Listen Carl, just get away from me" she tried to control her voice, to sound confident. But she was alone, she couldn't get away.

"I don't know, you're so pretty it would be a waste, don't say you're not curious" he kept on moving forward, she thought that staying at the same spot would make it seem like she wasn't afraid, but he didn't care.

"It's going to happen Mandy, can I call you that? Mandy, I'm dying to see what you have under that shirt, dreaming about that sweet pussy of yours, I bet it is really…"

"Shut up! Get away from me you fucking idiot, you think you can do whatever you want, go back to Atlanta and don't ever look at me"

"Feisty" he laughed, standing in front of her.

Amanda slapped him, she wasn't going to let him touch her, no matter what.

"You like it rough?" it didn't seem to bother him "I can be rough, I will be very rough with you. I'm gonna stick it in you so hard you're gonna be begging for more, I have a feeling I'm gonna have as much of you as I want Mandy"

"Get the hell out of here!" she was about to slap him again but he was ready this time and caught her hand in his.

"Oh Mandy" he shook his head "I don't care how much you want it, or if you don't. But it's gonna be better for you if you don't fight"

"Listen to me Carl" she pulled her hand away "I don't know what you think is going to happen, but you are wrong, I am never sleeping with you"

"But there's no one here to stop me, is there? Your guy friend hasn't been around for a while, it's just the two of us and what I say is the only thing that matters"

"I don't think so" she was about to walk away, feeling like there was nothing else she could do, there weren't many cars driving by, no one was going to stop and help her. She wanted someone to appear, she wanted Nick to show up, maybe he didn't give up, not like she gave up on them. Maybe, somehow, Alice told him where she was going and he was on his way.

But she didn't want to be a victim, she couldn't be one. Couldn't wait for a hero to save her. She could always take care of herself, even when things were hard.

Carl caught both of her hands and pushed her against the car, he was holding her so tightly it hurt. But Amanda didn't lose it, she focused and raised her knee with as much force as she could, kicking him in the balls "I am not scared of you" it felt good to say it and it felt even better to mean it.

Carl's face twisted in pain "you fucking bitch!"

But he wasn't giving up and Amanda moved away, distancing herself from him. He blew out some air and smiled again "making me work for it, just means it's gonna hurt you when I take your pants off"

Carl ran after Amanda, pulling her hair, she tried not to give him the satisfaction of a scream, but she managed to turn around and push him on one of the pumps with everything she had. He got hit head first and he didn't try to control his voice. When he turned around she saw blood running from his nose to his lips. There was so much anger in his eyes.

But she didn't let that distract her, she pushed him down again, he had trouble getting back up and Amanda kicked him while he was down, not caring about dumb sayings.

"Don't ever try anything like that again" she said before walking away, he was moving on the ground, trying to stand.

Amanda got into her car, she wasn't sure what to do now, run? Carl would follow her with the car and might just kill her. But she tried to start the car and miraculously it worked. She drove off, letting the tears run down her cheeks, barely seeing the road ahead, not caring about anything.

* * *

Amanda didn't even notice she was crying right now, sitting on Nick's couch, telling him everything, staring at her feet. She was almost afraid to look at him, not sure what he'd say. The night he left Atlanta he knew Patton wouldn't let her be, she knew that too but still didn't listen to him.

The entire time Amanda spoke she could feel his eyes on her. He was sitting in the opposite side of the couch and made no comments, he just listened.

But a few second after she was done Nick moved closer "can I hug you?" he asked, not sure if that's what she wanted, maybe right now she didn't want to be touched. But Amanda turned to look at him and he saw the pain in her eyes, she was strong enough to evade Patton's assault but the fact she had to experience something like that still left a painful memory.

Amanda buried her face in his chest and Nick embraced her, holding her close and rubbing her back tenderly.

"I love you so much" he said "I'm so sorry it happened to you"

They remained like this for a while, Nick's arms around her. Amanda didn't need someone to save her, but she needed Nick to love her, because that made her stronger.

After a while Amanda pulled away, she walked to the bathroom to wash her face and Nick quickly changed his shirt, not wanting her to see the stain caused by her tears.

"I'm sorry" Amanda stepped into the room.

"You got nothing to be sorry about" he shook his head.

"I should have told you everything"

"It's fine" he tried to give her a reassuring smile.

"Your mom said secrets aren't good for relationships" she grinned "so now you know that he tried to…rape me. But I didn't kill him"

"Do they know about this?"

"Washington's investigator has been trying to locate footage, to prove he was alive when I drove off, but no luck. We're not sure how much they know, if he told anyone about this. But they do believe I killed him, that's why they've been trying so hard"

"But you didn't, and it was self defense"

"I can't prove that" she shrugged "the investigator is looking for any footage available, but it's been so long and…"

"We can't lose hope Amanda, don't give up, ok? I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, no matter what, I love you"

Amanda kissed his lips and rested her forehead against his body for a few seconds "you ever wondered why you love me?" she asked and he gave her a questioning look "you said you fell in love with me the moment you saw me" he nodded and smiled, it was true "why?"

"Why?" Nick asked, he never really though about it, people usually dated and fell in love later, but with Amanda… "I don't know, I love everything about you. I love the person you are, the way you think, the way you speak, the way you look at me. Maybe it was fate, I don't really care as long as I'm with you"

"Damn, you're so sweet" she hugged him.

"Now you have to answer your own question" he said.

"Why do I love you?" she looked at him and he nodded "because when I'm not with you it hurts, and somebody told me that's how you know"

* * *

They lay in bed for a while, spending some time talking and some time just enjoying the closeness and the warmth.

"You want to go for a walk? Do something else?" Nick offered.

"Yeah" she smiled "maybe we could go get a drink"

"That sounds good, how about that bar we went to last time you were here?"

"Just give me a few minutes to get dressed"

Nick put his jacket on and waited for her to walk to the kitchen. She didn't bring a lot of clothes but she kept a few garments in his closet. She opened the door when her phone buzzed and she answered.

"Yeah?"

Nick already knew it was the lawyer, she had the same expression whenever he called.

"Send it to me, I need to check it out…yeah…well" she smiled at Nick "I already did so…he knows…yeah, I know, I know, just…send me the video, thanks"

"He got something?" Nick asked.

"They have some footage, not from that gas station, but from somewhere else, they think they spotted his car but I don't know if it helps"

"Let's check it out, is he going to send it now?" Nick walked over to his computer so she could access her account.

"Yeah" she sat down on the couch next to him and it didn't take long for her to load the video. It was poor quality, you couldn't see the plates of the vehicles but Washington gave them the exact time Patton's car appears.

"This is his car" Amanda pointed at it.

"He's on his way back to Atlanta, right?" Nick didn't get a reply, Amanda was focused on the screen. He wasn't sure what they were looking for, this showed that he was driving back to Atlanta, but there was no way to be sure it was him, Amanda could tell because she knew what kind of car he had but this wasn't going to fix their problem.

"Amanda?" he noticed she was still staring at it, she rewatched a few minutes over and over again "did you see anything?"

"No" she turned it off "let's go"

* * *

They sat at the bar and Amanda ordered the drinks, she emptied her glass in a few gulps and Nick placed his hand on her thigh.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah, just needed a drink" she gave him a wide smile.

"Then we're in the right place" he raised his glass "cheers"

Amanda stopped at the third drink while Nick settled with two. They ate greasy fries and Amanda leaned into him a bit, he felt like they were flirting.

"You come here a lot?" she asked, playing with her hair.

"Are you into role playing?" he raised a brow "I think you know the answer already"

Amanda giggled "I was just messing with you, but if you like that kind of stuff, I will listen"

"You're my only fantasy" he whispered into her ear.

"How comes you always say the right thing? Do you have an earpiece? Someone feeding you the answers" she reached for his ear.

"No, I'm just being honest" he shrugged.

"I love your honesty" she stood up "let's go back home so I could love your body"

"Alright" Nick wondered if she was drunk, but after a few minutes of walking Amanda leaned into him and they slowly walked to his apartment.

The silence was comfortable and Nick felt like she was almost clinging to him "you're ok?" he had to make sure, maybe seeing nothing on the video upset her more than she wanted him to know.

"Everything's fine Nick" her fingers caressed his back.

Not even a minute after the door was shut behind them Amanda pulled him into her for a fiery kiss, her tongue was in his mouth immediately. Nick wasn't sure how to take it, he loved the way she kissed him, the passion, the need in her movements.

"I love you so much Nick" she pulled away for a moment, feeling like he needed the reassurance.

Nick's lips were back on hers and they made their way to the bedroom, trying to be as close as possible and get rid of their clothes at the same time. Nick pulled her naked body to his, rubbing his hand against her clit until she pushed him down on the bed and crawled on top of him.

She took some time to taste and lick his neck while her hand was working on his hardening member.

"Amanda" Nick called her name, as much as he lover her touch he needed to be inside of her "I need to come inside of you"

She didn't reply, but stopped teasing and positioned herself right above him and lowered her body, gasping as he filled her up.

"I love you" she mumbled as she started moving.

Nick watched her as she rode him, her entire body was moving and he thought she looked absolutely gorgeous. Her movements were rapid but after a few moments she slowed down and it seemed to Nick she was getting a little lost, he wasn't far and needed to make sure she's not left behind. He sat up and looked at her "look at me" he asked and she did "what do you need me to do?"

Amanda didn't reply and he sucked on her neck, knowing she enjoyed that.

"Fuck me Nick" he felt her fingers dig into his back "please"

He turned them around so he was on top, he slummed his body into hers and she let out an approving cry. Nick didn't stop, every thrust was hard and deep, her head was right by the edge of the bed and the next thrust was so strong it was pushed off the mattress.

"Don't stop" she didn't seem to care and he felt the climax take over her a few seconds later and let go, falling down on top of her.

His eyes traveled from her hair to her face. The blonde strands were touching the floor and Nick smiled. But the smile was wiped away when he noticed she had tears in her eyes.

"Amanda?" he pulled out of her and moved to the side "are you ok? Did I hurt you?" maybe he was too rough, he shouldn't have…

"No" Amanda raised her head to him "you're perfect, I love you" her lips brushed up against his.

But Nick had to make sure "you sure?" he reached to her cheek, wiping away a tear.

"Yes" Amanda nodded "I love you so much Nick"

She got on top of him again, kissed his lips for a long time, taking it slow. Amanda guided him inside her after a few minutes, she parted with his mouth for short breaks, just to take a breath. He loved the tenderness in her movements, and how she tried as close to him as possible. There was so much need in the way she kissed him Nick hoped he was able to fulfill it.

When they came down from another climax Amanda rested her head on the pillow and Nick lay down next to her, he wanted to feel her body against his and pulled her to him.

"I love you" Amanda said again and he smiled.

"I know" he kissed the back of her head.

They fell asleep with her in his arms and the last though on his mind was that as long as they loved one another – things won't get worst.

* * *

When Nick opened his eyes Amanda wasn't next to him, he must have slept pretty deep, he couldn't remember her getting up.

"Amanda?" he got up of the bed and put on a pair of boxers, she didn't answer and he checked the bathroom, it was empty.

"Amanda?" Nick called again, she wasn't in the living room or kitchen, there were no other options. Nick tried calling her but it went straight to voicemail.

Where could she be?

Nick returned to the bedroom and put on a shirt and a pair of pants, he was about to return to the living room when he noticed her bag wasn't there. Why would she move it?

What was going on?

Nick was confused, where the hell could she be?

He decided to grab a glass of water, there had to be an explanation, she didn't just disappear.

There was a note on the fridge, maybe she was out on a jog?

Nick grabbed the note and the moment he read the first three sentences he was horrified. After everything he told her, after all of the things she said to him…

 _Dear Nick,_

 _I love you, I'm sorry_

 _But I am returning to Atlanta to take the plea._


	17. Chapter 17

_Dear Nick,_

 _I love you, I'm sorry_

 _But I am returning to Atlanta to take the plea._

 _I know you won't understand my decision but I have to do it._

 _Please forgive me and move on, don't wait for me or come after me. Don't come visit me._

 _I'm sorry,_

 _Amanda_

What the hell?

The words didn't make much sense even after the fifth time he read them. She took the plea? Why would she do that? Just leave without saying anything, just a few words on a paper. This is not a goodbye, this is bullshit.

He tried calling but got her voicemail again. It was her hand writing, this wasn't some conspiracy, she really left.

Nick didn't care about the note, this wasn't right. Did she really expect him to just forget about everything? Forget that he was in love with her? That she was in love with him?

No, he couldn't take it. What happened to no secrets? To talking about things?

He grabbed his stuff and drove to the airport. If she wanted to leave she should have had the decency to talk to him about it, not just disappear.

He felt guilty calling the captain, telling her he needed some time. But time wasn't on his side, maybe he could still talk her out of it.

* * *

When Amanda saw the video she almost missed it. It was there for a few seconds and she could have easily not notice, never know.

But she did notice and she did know.

When she got out of bed that night she tried to be as quiet as she could. She made the decision the moment everything clicked, but telling Nick wasn't something she could do, telling anyone was something she couldn't do. He will be hurt, he will be mad and hate her, hopefully forget her.

Nick was being so sweet, the things he said, the way he held her when they were walking back to his place. She really loved him and she really wanted to have all of the things he's been talking about, maybe he joked about it sometimes, but Amanda knew Nick wanted to have a family, and she wanted that with him.

But he deserved someone better anyway, not a woman whose life couldn't be normal, who had something good going, but at the same time had something terrible just lurking in the shadows.

She got dressed and packed her bag quickly, she couldn't take them to prison but she didn't want them to stay with him.

Amanda had to leave a note so he'd know it was her decision. But when she held the pen there were no words, she was fighting the tears and forced herself to write something, whatever. When she was done Amanda's eyes fell on their fortune ' _love is right by your side'_ she wasn't staying by his side.

Amanda didn't look back when she stepped into the dark street, it was lit up but she couldn't see the light.

* * *

Chief Patton didn't bother trying to hide his smug smile when he got the call, she took the plea. Finally Amanda Rollins was going to pay for what she did to Carl. He remembered visiting him at college one time and they saw her.

"Check that ass out" Carl gestured at her and the Chief smiled.

"She's a lovely lady"

"Lady? Not after what I'm going to do to her"

Carl was failing and had to quiet college but the Chief promised to help him out with a job.

He didn't want it right away, Carl was planning a trip, he wanted to have a few months of fun, as he put it, he was going to return to Atlanta in the fall. But he decided that since he was leaving school, he had to get the one thing he wanted. Her.

That night Carl called him, told him what she tried to do, told him she hit him, broke his nose.

"That bitch" the Chief chuckled, acting like a prude when he knew she wasn't one.

A few months later Carl wasn't back from his trip. Patton started worrying, no one knew where he was and the Chief had no idea if he went off the grid. There was no reason for him to do that, he had a job for him at the APD.

The Chief started looking into it, when he found out Carl never left the US he knew something was off. He found footage of the encounter at the gas station, saw how that woman beat him.

He had a feeling she had something to do with it, maybe Carl decided to pay her another visit. She was moving on with her life when his nephew was nowhere to be found. This wasn't right.

He kept tabs on her, made sure she'd end up working in homicide with someone he could trust. She led them no where, worked most of the time, had a few relationship.

One day someone found his body, he was dead for five years and it was all because of her, it had to be. So what if there weren't any evidence? The lieutenant got him a single hair that was stuck to her chair, he needed DNA evidence. But this wasn't enough for a case so Patton decided to wait and build something stronger. Almost no one knew about this.

But the bitch found herself a man from New York and after a few months of back and forth she asked for a transfer. The lieutenant gave him the heads up, there was no time to waste.

He made sure someone found the body, made sure the judge on the case would be an old friend who owed him few favors.

But that jerk from New York stood by her, didn't leave after he got that visit from the Chief's friend, helped her, so he asked the DA to offer a plea, hoping she'd take it and not risk a trial, he could get friendly jurors. Fifteen years weren't enough but some day an incident would occur…prisons are not very safe.

* * *

Ever since they got together the few hours of the flight and the drive to her apartment always seemed longer than they actually were. He always felt like he couldn't wait to see her and it made each minute stretch into an hour.

But now that he was completely in the dark, not knowing why she was doing this, it felt like months, years. He had no idea when she left and really hoped that maybe he'd run into her at the airport. But that was not the case and he rented a car and drove to her place, knowing he wasn't welcomed.

He had a key and unlocked the door. Maybe this wasn't real, maybe he'd open the door and…what? She'd say it was a mistake, he read wrong?

Nick had a whole speech planned, but the moment he saw her, standing in the living room, packing something up, it was all gone. He wanted to hug her, tell her he loved her. But then he remembered she left him, leaving a note with a bizarre explanation, not really giving him any reason.

"Why?" was all he was able to mutter.

"Nick" she looked upset to see him, but he was upset not seeing her this morning.

The speech came back and he took out the note from his pocket "is this all I get? I'm sorry? After everything you tell me you're taking the plea? Just like that?"

"I'm sorry Nick" she said quietly "I can't…I love you but…"

"How can there be a but Amanda? I think we had enough of those" he felt his eyes getting teary, he felt like this woman, a woman he loved more than anything else, was giving up on what they had. After all of the obstacles, all the things that came between them…she was tearing it apart.

"Nick, I am so sorry" she looked at him "you need to go back to New York, move on with your life"  
"Move on" Nick raised his voice and let out an angry laugh "do you want to hear how I moved on after that fight we had because of this guy? I went out to get a drink and I met a woman I wasn't interested in at all, but her name was Amanda, and all I wanted was to think about you. I was in her bed calling you name, and I felt like crap, I felt so guilty I saw her again to make it up to her. But I didn't care about her, I only liked her name and every time I wanted it to be you. I knocked her up and we got married. For years I've been miserable, I was alone. When I thought I'd have a child…I…I suffered for all this time Amanda, because I couldn't handle not being with you. Because I felt like I let you down" Nick could tell his words had an effect on her, it seemed like she was fighting back the tears, but she didn't say anything.

"Amanda" Nick took a few steps towards her "how can you say you love me and leave without an explanation? What they are doing to you is wrong, but you can't do this to yourself. Please, come back to New York with me, ask me to stay here…but not this, don't tell me to leave" he was begging, she was his family, she was his future. The tears freed themselves from his eyes but he didn't give a damn, he wanted her to see how much it hurt him, how hurt he was.

Amanda took a deep breath and Nick thought she looked like a terminally ill patient who reached the acceptance stage, as if she was fine with this.

"Nick" she wanted to reach for him but left her hand in the air "I'm sorry"

He didn't add another word, he lost his voice, lost everything. He turned away and tried not to slam the door. He sat in the car and was about to drive away, go back to New York and pretend he could forget about her, pretend he could feel something for someone else.

But he didn't start the engine. Something was wrong, he couldn't leave like that. He did that once and ended up wasting years on misery. Amanda wouldn't do this with no reason, she didn't want to go to prison, give up on her life, on their life.

There had to be a reason and he couldn't give up again. He made the wrong choice all those years ago, he should have stayed. He wasn't going to walk away now. Because even if she asked him to leave, it wasn't right. He was going to find out the truth.

Nick tried to focus, turn his detective mode on. Last night she acted a little strange, he though it may have had something to do with the confession she made, it wasn't an easy thing to share with another person. But she seemed alright after that, they were lying in his bed, just talked. When they at the bar Nick thought something was off, the way she held on to him later.

Something happened between the time they were talking and when they left the apartment.

The video.

The lawyer sent them a video. But all they could see were cars. They couldn't make up the drivers, the plates.

But she recognized Patton's car. What if she recognized another one? That's why she watched it so many times. Nick couldn't see anything helpful, but Amanda did.

But whose car was it?

It had to be someone important enough for her, but she had no contact with her father and he figured she wouldn't do that for her mother, her sister was gone. Alice? She was Amanda's best friend but she didn't have a car back then and why would she get to Loganville and drive back in the middle of the night. It didn't add up.

But then it clicked. He realized what must have happened.

Nick grabbed his phone, this was the last chance.

"Captain Berg" he said "I need your help finding someone"


	18. Chapter 18

When Amanda was fifteen she was dating Jeff Boone. They went to the same high school but had only one class together. He wasn't the nicest guy, but she didn't care much about it. She just liked spending time with him away from her mother and her 'visitors' that's how Kim called them. She brought him over to the house one time and her mom hit on him, ignoring the fact he was her daughter's boyfriend and a minor. At least he thought she was old and stayed faithful.

They met up one night and he brought a bottle he took from his father, they had no idea what they were drinking, but they sat by an abandoned house, a spot Jeff liked and often spend time with his friends there, mostly vandalizing it.

After a few sips Jeff started laughing with no reason "the sky is black" he said, as if it was the first time he noticed.

"Yeah" Amanda took another sip, it felt weird and she was a little light headed.

"Let's have sex" he looked at her.

"What?" She was still a virgin and it's not like she hasn't thought about it, but she didn't really want to sleep with him.

"You're my girlfriend, we need to have sex already, even your mom was willing, so don't be a prude I even have a…" he took something out of his pocket and showed it to her, it was a condom.

She didn't really want to have sex, but it's not like it mattered, she'd have to at some point and why not with Jeff? All the things she saw in movies and TV shows weren't true, no great love would suddenly walk into her life. So why not?

She shrugged and Jeff took that as a yes.

It was over very fast and Amanda wasn't sure what to think, if that was it why would anyone make such a big deal out of it?

"I'm going" Jeff said "see you later"

At least he left the bottle, she took two more sips and felt sick, she started walking back home but her stomach hurt.

"Amanda" a pickup truck pulled over and Amanda saw Oliver "are you ok?" he walked out and she smiled at him.

"Oli" she giggled "I have a secret!"

"If it's that you're drunk, it's not much of a secret, get into the car I'll drive you home"

Amanda sat down but didn't even shut the door when she felt even more nauseous and threw up, at least she didn't mess up the car.

"Here" he handed her a bottle of water after she threw up again.

"Do you want to have sex with me Oli?" she asked.

"What are you talking about? Of course not"

"Mom said that's what you want, that you only want to get into my pa…" she threw up and didn't finish the sentence.

"Listen Amanda, all I want is to make sure you don't follow your parent's foot steps. Don't listen to your mom"

"I already did" she mumbled.

"Already did what?" Oliver wasn't sure what she was talking about. He knew Amanda was a teenager and teenagers experimented with alcohol sometimes. But Amanda couldn't afford this, not with her family history.

"Had sex" she chuckled and rested her sweaty forehead against the dashboard "I don't feel so good, but I had sex with Jeff"

"Did you use protection?" he had to make sure, not wanting her to get pregnant and screw up her future.

"Yeah…" she giggled "it sucked…I'm throwing up again"

"You can't drink like this Amanda" he said when she leaned back in the seat "alcohol is not water"

"Yeah..." she closed her eyes and started crying.

"It's gonna be fine, you'll get some sleep, drink a lot of water, you'll feel better"

"I don't think so, I'm dying" she threw up again, feeling like her stomach was completely empty.

"No, you are going to be fine" he smiled "but you need to take care of yourself, don't drink, don't spend time with Jeff, he's a jerk"

"But I want to…"

"He doesn't deserve you Amanda, you need to focus on school. You're a fast runner, how about you join the track team? It will do you good and help you get away from here. You don't want to end up like your mom and dad"

"I can't leave Kim"

"You're not going anywhere yet. But you have to put yourself first" he hoped she'd listen, Amanda was a smart girl, but she had a lot going against her "and break up with Jeff, he's a jerk"

"I don't want to be alone" she confessed, she didn't like him, but at least he was with her.

"You can't be with a guy just because of that, you need to be with someone you love"

"But nobody loves me" she replied quietly.

"Someday you will meet someone who will love you, and put you first. If it hurts you to be away from him, that's how you know it's real"

"That sucks" she mumbled.

"It won't, I promise" he smiled, she was young but he hoped that someday she'd meet someone who will treat her right "I'm gonna drive you home"

"Thanks Oli"

"Call me if you need anything, ok?" he looked at her "and listen to what I said, no drinking, no Jeff"

"I promise"

* * *

There was one person in Amanda's life that seemed to care about her, who helped her out, who was probably one of the reasons she didn't end up like one of her parents.

If he helped her get more than twenty years of mostly normal life, she would gladly give up fifteen years for him.

Nick knew Oliver has been retired for a few years, Amanda mentioned that he bought a trailer and was traveling with his wife. Nick asked the captain for help, he could tell she wasn't sure what to think but he convinced her to find him. He couldn't give up on Amanda. An hour later Berg called with results, she was able to find the last place Oliver used his credit card at, it was a trailer park, it was about five hours away, but if he leaves now he could get back to Atlanta in time.

During the five hours drive Nick just hoped this wasn't a goose chase, but if this man cared enough, he'd help her even if he wasn't the one who did this, he won't let her take the blow. Nick couldn't let her take it.

It was very late when he got to the park, the place was quiet, everyone were probably asleep. Nick had the plate number and was able to locate the right trailer. This was it, the only way to help.

He knocked a few times until a man opened the door. Nick recognized Oliver and for a moment he almost forgot why he was there.

"Do I know you?" he asked.

"My name is Nick Amaro, I'm a friend of…"

"Amanda" Oliver remembered seeing him in Loganville a few years ago, Amanda said he was just a friend but he felt like there was something else going on.

"Yes" Nick said "she's in trouble"

"Who is that?" a woman called, it was probably his wife.

"What happened to her?" Oliver asked.

"I don't know if you know this, but she's being charged with the murder of Carl Patton and in a few hours she will sign a plea, fifteen years in prison" Nick wasn't sure if he should say more, if he should ask if he was the one who did this.

Oliver's wife walked over to him "you said that one day this would happen"

"I'm sorry" he gave her a hug.

"I know" she gave him a tiny smile.

"Let me just get one thing, evidence" Oliver opened a drawer and took out a box "tell the kids I love them, I love you too"

"I will drive back after you" she nodded.

Nick walked out of the trailer, allowing them to say goodbye alone. A few minutes later Oliver joined Nick and they drove off.

He was going to spend five hours in the car with this man and Nick had no idea what to say to him. He probably didn't even hear about the case, it was kept quiet and the media didn't cover it.

But Nick didn't have to worry about for long because Oliver started talking.

"I take it you and Amanda are seeing each other"

"Up until she decided to take the deal, the lawyer sent her footage and she must have recognized your truck, she didn't even tell me"

"But you're still here" he noted.

"What happened that night?" Nick asked, hoping he'd get a straight answer.

"Amanda's sister was in trouble again and she called me to say she was on her way to Loganville. But it took her a lot of time and I was worried, you've seen her car" he knew Nick drove her to Loganville once "she wasn't answering so I decided to drive to Atlanta, see if she was ok. I spotted her car and I got there just when she kicked this guy and left. She didn't even notice my truck so I decided to have a chat with him. He returned to his car and I followed him for a while. When he stopped for gas I decided to have a word with him. He thought this was a joke, said some ugly things. I went back to my car and he walked over to me, said that our conversation only convinced him to try again. If someone would have said that about my daughter…and Amanda's like a daughter to me. I wasn't thinking clearly and hit him with my car. It was late and there was no one there…I didn't want to give up on my life, to leave my family so I drove to Atlanta to hide the body and returned the next day to get the footage. My wife knew but I kept it a secret"

Nick had a feeling he'd do the same thing, that guy wanted to use Amanda, to hurt her.

"But this is a mistake I need to pay for"

* * *

Oliver offered to drive but Nick declined, he couldn't sleep anyway, he just wanted to get to the station and stop this.

It felt like they would never get there but suddenly Nick recognized the street, the station. He parked the car and they both rushed inside.

* * *

"You need to sign here" the DA handed her a pen when the door opened.

Patton recognized the boyfriend, there was another man with him, what did they want?

"What are you doing here?" Amanda asked.

"I have proof, I am the one who killed Carl Patton"

"No" Amanda shook her head but the man gave a CD to her lawyer and he smiled and took the pen away from her.

"I guess we're watching a movie first" he took out his lap top while the Chief tried to think of a way to stop this.

Amanda tried not to look at Nick but he couldn't keep his eyes away. When Washington played the video everyone in the room turned to look at it.

Just like Oliver said, he was shown talking to him, going back to his car, being followed by Patton, exchanging a few words. When Carl walked away Oliver drove straight to him, hitting him. They saw him pick the body and put him in the truck, he sat there for a while and drove off.

"Well" Washington looked at the DA "I guess the deal is off, just like the charges"

"Yeah" the man looked at Patton who was furious, he stood up and walked away.

"I think this belongs to you" the lawyer handed the CD to the DA "we'll be leaving now"

Amanda stayed in her seat, she looked at Oliver and he mouthed "sorry" before an officer came to arrest him.

"Ms. Rollins, we are going to have a long chat about your options, but I'm gonna give you some time to take this all in, it's over"

* * *

Nick waited outside of the station. It was really over, the charges were dropped, Amanda was free.

She wasn't alone when she walked out, Washington opened the door for her and said he'd call later. Amanda remained standing there alone, she was looking straight ahead and didn't notice Nick approaching her.

Nick thought she looked hurt, not relieved, not happy to be free. It seemed like this is not the way she wanted things to go. But her anger was a price he was willing to pay, even if she won't forgive him, even if she asks him to walk away.

"Amanda" his voice startled her "I understand why you did this, I really do. I know that for years Oliver was the only person who cared about, helped you. So you were willing to take the bullet for him so he won't get life sentence or…" he didn't want to mention the option of death penalty, but she knew it was an option "but he is the guilty one, and I couldn't let you do that. If you ask me to leave, if you don't want to see me again, fine, I'll accept it. But just like you didn't want Oliver to go to prison, I couldn't let it happen to you. Not fifteen years, not even a day. You can be upset, you can hate me, but I don't care. Because this is the right thing. If you want it to be our goodbye…" Nick had no idea what else to say, he didn't want this to be goodbye, but he knew he betrayed her in a way. Maybe the fact he brought Oliver in was something she couldn't forgive. He looked at her and the blank expression on her face gave him no clue of what she was thinking, or even if she was thinking about anything. Was she going to leave him or live with him?

* * *

 **Autumn of 2006**

* * *

Nick was woken up by a pair of soft lips on his back. They were nibbling on his shoulder blades, moving the blanket lower.

"It's bad luck" he mumbled.

"Only if you see me in my dress and you know what, I'm not wearing anything" she continued placing soft kisses on him "and you don't believe in that bullshit, do you?"

Nick turned around, kept his eyes closed and reached for her.

"Careful!" she warned "you almost took out my eye, now that would be bad luck"

Nick smiled at her and allowed his eyelids to open "you know what, every moment I can't see you is a waste of time" he moved some of her hair behind her ear, but it was back covering her face a moment later "you are so beautiful"

"Well, I am the bride"

"You're my bride" he kissed her "and I love you"

"I'm here for a little experiment" she let him know and he seemed confused "I heard that when you're married the sex isn't as good, so we're gonna compare"

"That sounds like a very important scientific experiment" Nick caught her lips for another kiss "what do you need me to do?"

Amanda pulled away and smiled "what you always do"

As she mentioned earlier, she wasn't wearing anything and that fact made him smile wider. He wrapped his arms around her and sat up with his mouth attached to hers. He pulled away to taste other parts of her. His tongue traveled down from her earlobe to her neck and shoulders. He lingered on her collar bone and moved to her breasts. He spread a few kisses before taking the nipple into his mouth.

They had a long day ahead of them but right now it didn't matter, so what if they were getting married in a few hours. Nick's teeth kept on teasing her until she couldn't take it anymore.

"Come on Nick" she pulled back, lying on her back "I've got somewhere to be"

"I'm not done tasting you" he got between her legs and reached for her breast again, pinched her nipple right when his tongue entered her.

Amanda's back arched and she asked him to continue, he knew very well how she loved to be touched, when to be tender and when to be rough. She pushed her face against him, needing him to get deeper.

Nick kept on teasing her nipples with his fingers, her clit with his tongue and the simultaneous movements made her orgasm so intense Amanda felt like she'd need an hour to come down.

"How about we save some time" he mumbled against her abdomen, his tongue circling her bellybutton "continue this in the shower, no time for a bath"

* * *

After they had a proof Amanda was innocent the lawyer didn't have a hard time proving she was framed. The judge admitted he was asked not to disqualify the evidence and with his testimony he offered Amanda to sue the APD. He knew this will get a lot of attention and they ended up settling for a lot of money and a lot of people being fired, including the chief and the lieutenant. After paying the lawyer and paying back Alice Amanda bought a house in New York and gave the rest to Oliver's family.

Captain Weiss from homicide offered her a job and she was able to leave Atlanta behind and move on. With Nick.

* * *

 **Summer of 2009**

* * *

"I think this is the spot" Nick looked around.

"It's been ten years Nick, I'm not sure, a lot has changed" Amanda's hand wrapped around him "that Chinese restaurant is gone"

"Shame, they had great fortune cookies" he shrugged and kissed her.

"I think you got an empty piece of paper that time" she chuckled.

"You're the one who got it, we switched" Nick corrected her "you know what I wrote on it?"

"You wrote something on it?" Amanda seemed surprised.

"I wrote that I'd see you again and here we are, ten years later, not alone" Nick smiled at the two year old boy who fell asleep in his arms a few minutes ago.

"Are you saying that you can predict the future?"

"I can predict that we won't call this one Alberta" Nick caressed her belly, she was four months pregnant and he couldn't be happier.

"Fine" Amanda shrugged as if she was going to argue about it "you win"

Nick looked at her, ten years ago he fell in love with her and he only loved her more with each passing day. She gave him his family, her love.

Yeah, he won.

* * *

 **The end**


End file.
